Were you or someone you know sexually molested by a Jehovah's Witness ?

by flipper 381 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

• 

  AllTimeJeff

  Thanks Lee.... Yesterday, I experienced all kinds of guilt for being an elder and parroting the GB method of ducking responsibility. After they DF'd Jon, I wasn't there for him. I was a good dub, and shut down my heart to be loyal to the Governing Body teachings. Yesterday just was a bad day, remembering my part in all of this, even if I was an indoctrinated dub.

  I was tricked, but I could have stood up and spoke out. I was young, and I didn't.

  It's funny how one's priorities change when you get a little life experience and learn the truth about the GB agenda.

  I hope for all of us that we can have some peace. I know Jon wouldn't want me to weep for him too much. He wants me to be happy, and that brings some comfort. He wouldn't want both of us to be screwed over by this cult and have both our lives put on hold.
• 

  mrsjones5

  That's what so insidious about this, jws don't have the right to freedom of speech in the bOrg.
• 

  dinah

  You would think of all people, JW's would understand about paragraphs and stuff like that. Just sayin'........................

  Jeff, I hope you are feeling better today.
• 

  AllTimeJeff

  Hi there Awaretoday. I don't understand why you belabor this point, but I am happy to respond...

  agree that the JWS GB has policies not freindly to victims so then Jeff why don't you use your freedom of speech and all your energy to expose them in a large forum instead of here.

  I don't see how where I choose to expose these policies of the GB is a relevant point. It is a personal decision.

  I, being familiar with the topic have to note that some of the abuse comes directly from family members so why not blame the other parent for not going to the police?

  Thats a fair point. I think that every poster here molested by a non parent who went to the elders and were rebuffed would feel differently. Again, I realize that there are shades of gray; these distinctions however do not free the GB and the higher ups of their culpability in the tens of thousands of cases they have mis handled, and continue to insist on mis handling.

  My problem is why wait for the JW policies to protect you, hell protect yourself and your own. Why would anyone expect a religion or a cult to stand up for your rights?

  Great point. I think that in the internet age, by having eyewitnesses speak out where before this time, they couldn't, it serves to keep potential new converts away as they learn about this, and it also frees up those "lurkers" who come here to investigate further the many lies that the GB teach, in an effort to keep their authority.

  Overall awaretoday, I can't agree with the tone or point of view you espouse, it seems like you don't understand. Thats fine, no one can do your thinking for you. I understand that some posters got hot about Reinaa, but as I say, that doesn't change the fundamentals of the issue involving JW's and pedophilia.
• 

  AK - Jeff

  I have not read this entire thread [mainly because I don't have an hour to do so]. But I note a couple of points here from what I have seen:

  • The thread has become far calmer and reasoned in the past two pages. AMEN for that!
  • This topic is very hard to be objective about. Those with personal experience have a very hard time separating the WTS from those members of the religion who are guilty of serious sexual crimes. Those without personal experience have a very hard time understanding the very personal and legitimately subjective viewpoint that the WTS has accountablility for allowing these crimes to be mishandled.
  • I seriously doubt that any single poster would personally condone sexual misconduct, rape or molestation that involves the vicimization of children. Some have a hard time stating matters in a way that is clear on such an emotional subject.

  While anyone who has ever read my posts in this community would clearly know: I am no Watchtower apologist. I hate pedophilia. One of my primary reasons for leaving the Watchtower was this very issue.

  That stated: I agree with Simon. The victims are the prime thing. There are far more victims of child molestation from outside the Watchtower, than from within. The Watchtower is only part of the problem. Many other churches have similar problems. Many who are no part of any religion are also victims of this abuse of children. While the WTS should duly share culpability for the situations in which they turned a blind eye - I also believe that for the most part, elders and other responsible persons within the religion are trying to do what is right.

  Some of them have done 'what is right' by leaving the organization, and attempting to expose the faults of the religion in this matter. Others try to do all they can as active members of the religion to assure that victims are cared for and perpetrators are punished. Still, those efforts are tainted by an ongoing mind control from which they have not yet [or perhaps ever will] escaped.

  Ren is still under that belief. Those who continue to believe that they have the 'truth', and that God is with them, will never fully be as objective as those who have never been part of a religion that has covered over wrongdoing on any level. Those objective observers will never fully understand the subjective position of those who continue to desire a way to defend their religion.

  I hope those who have landed en masse on Ren's case, will try to understand this. She does not make objective arguments - her arguments are based on the faulty reasoning of her religion. What else can we expect?

  I don't know if any of that made sense. I am trying to say that I believe that Ren is good person. I also believe that she is seriously mislead by a religion that seriously mislead most of us here for a long time. It is not easy to escape that. But most of us have. I hope that over time she will too. Though she is not a victim of child molestation [at least I have never seen her state that she is], she is still a victim of a mind bending cult. That understanding should aid us to have a bit of understanding, as hard as that might be for those who have deep emotional issues stemming from abuse.

  Jeff
• 

  awaretoday

  Reniia

  Don't stop posting or reading because others are too thin skinned to listen to your point of view. There should always be a balance of thoughts and ideas even if those don't agree with out own but it does promote intellectual growth and a healthy exercize in dialogue and discussion. At the end of the day no matter how hot an argument gets we all go home and focus on our families and very seldom do anything to help the establishment. But if we feel motivated to action then that's the beauty in these types of forums and Simon was correct in stating that we should focus on the victims and see them through not concentrate on an organization that hurts and damages the innocent. We should all get our energy in the right place and rise above the pain.
• 

  Big Tex

  My problem is why wait for the JW policies to protect you, hell protect yourself and your own.

  Jehovah's Witnesses teach that one must "wait on Jehovah" expose wrongdoing, absent a confession from the offender. They also teach that to report a crime such as sexual abuse "brings reproach on Jehovah's name." I was told by a circuit overseer I would be disfellowshipped if I said anything more about my father. It didn't stop me, frankly the threat pissed me off more than renaii did, but you do understand that being disfellowshipped means being cut off from all friends and family and that you are considered dead by Jehovah God? That's kind of a big deal to most Witnesses. I was told by a couple of elders that were I to be disfellowshipped I would be considered worse than a pedophile, worse than a murderer and beyond redemption or forgiveness by anyone but Jehovah God. It may sound like nothing, but that's pretty strong stuff to people who either believe in their teachings, or were raised in that sect. That's part of the difficulty of leaving that sect, removing the brainwashing they do is very difficult.

  Why would anyone expect a religion or a cult to stand up for your rights? I understand this is a worldwide problem and even if the JWS went away, there would still be molestations and not enough resources to bring the molesters to justice, it is rampant beyond control.

  Because we were told over and over how there is no organization in the world like "Jehovah's people". We were told how much we could trust each other because we were no longer part of the world.

  We were also told, overtly and covertly, that we did not have any rights except those explicity given to us by the faithful and discreet slave. And those were subject to change without notice.

  I know of a case where a preschoold child was molested by an elder's son. The incident was not only not reported to the police but the entire matter was completely covered over. No one stood up for that child's rights, least of all her parents. Having said that, not one of the elders who were told in graphic detail what happened, reported the matter either.

  Again I ask -- who is worse, the offender or the group of people in denial who protect the offender? Speaking for myself, I know I was angrier at those who claimed to be different, who claimed they were good and decent and yet proved they were not, than I was at the one who I already knew to be bad.

  I've said it before several times that I feel posters like renaii are valuable. My wife is an example of someone who finally left because people like her cannot or will not defend what they claim to believe.

  Chris
• 

  Big Tex

  That just about ripped my heart out. My heart goes out to you because it is a pain like no other. My sister suffered for 20-25 years before she successfully commited shuicide. There were many attempts during those years but she just could not deal with the past.

  Jeff you and Lee are examples of people who have been touched in an horrific way by the teachings and policies of Jehovah's Witnesses.

  'I'm sorry' feels so inadequate. Just know my heart goes out to you both.

  Chris
• 

  dinah

  Big Tex, your post above just restates the feelings of so many posters here. Something bad happens, you are raised believing you have "the truth" then BAM! When you need help, they protect Mother and leave the kids out in the cold.

  Thank God, I was never molested or raped. (Yes, I still believe in God---just not organized religion). The way the Judicial Committee's handle those situations is deplorable. One of my friends when I was a teen was raped then publicly reproved. That is just WRONG.

  Lady Lee, when I first joined here I read your story and your website. It was hard to read through the tears, but I'm so glad I did. It helped me stop crying over spilled milk and move on. To this day, I'm not sure I would have the strength to have survived all that like you did.

  I just wish those who want to be apologist to Witnesses would be required to live with the victim's memories for a few hours before they opened their mouth.
• 

  DJK

  I agree that the JWS GB has policies not freindly to victims so then Jeff why don't you use your freedom of speech and all your energy to expose them in a large forum instead of here. I believe that will help a large number of victims and possibly change some policies up at the farm.

  I don't think we can accomplish as much, on any forum or any public arena, as the victims could. It's not an easy thing for a victim to come forward, even to testify against an offender. It is their voice that is heard, not mine. I'm just a disgruntled third party pot stirrer as far as anyone is concerned.