Were you or someone you know sexually molested by a Jehovah's Witness ?

by flipper 381 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

• 

  dinah

  AllTimeJeff,

  I'm so terribly sorry to read about your brother. Bless his heart, that about made me cry.

  Brinjin had sent me a link to a youtube video featuring a teenaged boy (12-13 Ithink) who was raped. The elders blamed him for it as well. They said he got what he wanted and called it an act of homosexual sex instead of rape. I wish I could remember the title of the video. This happened in Australia.

  It seems victims of rape are treated equally. Blame the victim, disfellowship or publicly reprove them.

  I don't have evidence of molestation in our congregation, but two of my ex-dub friends (both men) were raped.
• 

  lurk3r

  I guess the point I didn't make too well is "should damaging the WTS at the expense of abuse-victims well being" be condoned at all?

  You have to fight fire with fire Simon. I appreciate very much that you walk a line and try to be objective in your argument presentation. However, equally said would be " should preserving the WTS at the expense of abuse-victims well being" be condoned at all.

  Your point is made, but I think that it is not such an easy answer as put forth.
• 

  AllTimeJeff

  I'm so terribly sorry to read about your brother. Bless his heart, that about made me cry.

  Thanks Dinah. He was a good, albeit messed up soul. He never got the support he needed ever, including from me, as that was when I was in my JW induced heyday....

  Brinjin had sent me a link to a youtube video featuring a teenaged boy (12-13 Ithink) who was raped. The elders blamed him for it as well. They said he got what he wanted and called it an act of homosexual sex instead of rape. I wish I could remember the title of the video. This happened in Australia.

  Thats exactly what happened to Jon. Idiot elders. I knew and loved them, they were my friends, but they totally scrambled my brothers head irrepairably.
• 

  awaretoday

  They way everyone ganged up on Reinaa is deplorable! This is a forum to post opinions not be part of a club right? At least that's what I eveidenced from those not posturing themselves as perfect. If we are so intolerable then we are still symptomatic of the JW brainwash. I agree with everyones account of the molestation issue but the entire JW R&R is not guilty of molestation. Yes there are 27K well then why not attack those? and what about the person that willingly admitted to his daliance with a 9 year old? Just cause he confessed he gets better treatment that Reinai, Here is is quote:

  Wow. This place really makes me open up. I was one of the molesters. I have never said or typed that before. I guess i should say thank you. It feels good in someway. In my own defense, it was not an adult with a kid and no actual penetration occured. Still, I was a big 12 year old, she was nine. Lot's of touching and sucking involved. This happened with two others, just not more than once as with her. Don't know why I am typing this. If some lurker's have these feeling's or are doing these things or suspect's someone of doing it, it's not worth it in anyway. The guilt I have for what became of that girl has haunted me my entire life. I don't have children out of fear of even having the thought. I have no idea how her life was effected, can't imagine it being good, she was subjected to large quanities of guilt afterward's. While i remember some of their names, i have no idea what their last names are. I wish i could send them and i'm sorry letter. I rode by the grandparent's house some years ago to say i was sorry, it was obvious they had moved. What's sad is all i can focus on while typing this is my constant use of "I", this post is about me. That child's life is not about "I", it's about him/her. Leave it that way. That religion is not healthy in any way.

  He admits to being one of the molesters, well then turn yourself in! It happened more than one with various others and he doesn't state what ages. He also states that"While I remember some of their names" well was it then more than four?, and you don't remember their names? that sounds like a habitual practice to me and yet people are so sympathetic to this person just cause he comes out and admits it here? Could it be our sense of justice is way off. Blame the pedophiles not the world and the victims. It doesn't make sense to lay out all the hatred for the JWS on Reinaa either, lets take the high road and start writting our politicians or other activist organizations and vent there! Ostracising Reina just makes us all look like petty kindergardners. Lets just read be reasonable and move towards proactive measures. By attacking one person we cannot reasonably demonstrate our sorrow for the victims that would be and is so stupid and irrational. The pain and anguish of a victim will not go away by showing another human being antagonistic behavior it will just bring on those horrible memories of overpowering and violence in the name of love. Vent and rant but keep the hatred accurately targeted or else it just keeps the cycle of anger going.
• 

  caliber

  I shall never return here !!!!!!! ( until sometime tomorrow )

  I am gone .. maybe !!!!
• 

  Lady Lee

  startingovernow

  It is so sad to read that one person caused so much trouble. The WTS' refusal to encourage JWs to get professional help for abuse and other serious mental health issues is just one more hurtful way they deal with this problem in the congregations.

  I suffered for years from anxiety attacks eating disorders, a myriad of psychosomatic health problems, severe depression and a lto of thinking about suicide. After 20 years the elders fianlly said I could go to a professional and talk about the childhood abuse but I was forbidden to tell the counsellor that I was a JW. That in effect was a gag and made most of the recovery process stall. There were too many questions that I could not answer without lying.

  Despite the fact that I was sexually abused in the org and by baptized JWs I shut my eyes to the problem just like all other JWs. For one thing I thought I was alone. I was the "rare case". Looking back now I can see a whole long list of JWs I knew who may have been sexually abused as children in the org. Another long list would include those who were physically and/or emotionally abused.

  The question for me is this:

  Is there a percentage of JWs who are victims of abuse (a consistent pattern of physical, sexual or emotional abuse for a long period of time) that is less than, equal to, or greater than what we find in the real world.

  I think the answer would be YES for any cult or abusive family or cultural group. Any time the leadership does not have accountability, coerces members to be silent and refuses to acknowledge its serious problems the risk of abuses increase over the population at large.

  Before I got involved with the WTS my sexual abuse was reported to the police once it was discovered. Not so after my contact with the WTS. Then it was covered over. To me that speaks volumes.
• 

  AllTimeJeff

  Awaretoday, I appreciate you using your freedom of speech to share your opinion. The leadership of Jehovah's Witnesses, the Governing Body, is very culpable both for the policies and for the enviroment that allows predators to continue to have easy access to kids, and for the idea that it is Satan and this world that is the cause of the bad publicity they currently deal with on this issue. It isn't Satan, it is merely the consequences of their ill conceived ideas on how to handle the pedophile issue that has bitten them in the rear. They didn't get stupid overnight on this one.

  They refuse to acknowledge that for the last 40 years, ill trained and irresponsible elders at the local and Bethel level have harmed thousands irrepairably. They continue to say that it isn't their responsibility to report such matters to the police. I and many here disagree, having seen first hand how that policy hurts, not helps the victims. It appears that you don't disagree, but lets not lump what happened to Reinaa with the real issue, the horrible way that the Governing Body continues to dodge their responsibility in handling pedophiles in their midst.

  Edited slightly. Reread awaretodays post after paragraphs were added...
• 

  LightCloud

  I was dating a girl at the Kingdom Hall who after a couple months claimed that she was being molested by her adoptive father. He was an Elder at the time. She told the Elders in my congregation, her congregation and was threatening to bring it to the cops. I remember being dragged in for questioning. I think part of his defence was that I was putting her up to lying becuase he opposed us dating. With the way the questioning was going I could see that is what most of them wanted to believe. The reality of it was she actually pursued me from the beginning as I was mostly wanting to do the whole Pioneer thing and was not really in the frame of mind of dating or getting married. She persisted though and wanted to go to the cops about it. The Elders did remove him from being an Elder but basically swept the rest of it under the carpet. I was young and didn't know what to think. I had never dated a girl. Only been a Witness for a few years. I was doing my best to be a good Witness. And was suddenly drug into the middle of this huge mess, my own reputation took a slam and did not know what to think of it all. I recall shortly after breaking the relationship off that she attempted to kill herself. I remember not fully knowing what to believe of her charges. Some of it seemed a desperate attempt to break free of the Witnesses and her Witness family. But even beyond the off nature of being a JW Elder there did seem to be something wrong with the guy so looking back maybe what she said was true.

  The thing I remember most was how callously the Elders dealt with it all. They were cold and callous about it all, there sole aim being to mitigate damage to the Organization not addressing some fairly obvious mental/spiritual problems in a family they were supposed to be caring for. Not spiritual healing, justice or the health and welfare of the congregation, it all seemed to be about damage control and making the problem go away as quietly as possible.
• 

  Lady Lee

  AlltimeJeff

  My brother, like countless others, were never allowed to express their anger or heal. It ultimately drove him to suicide

  That just about ripped my heart out. My heart goes out to you because it is a pain like no other. My sister suffered for 20-25 years before she successfully commited shuicide. There were many attempts during those years but she just could not deal with the past.

  May we both find some peace
• 

  awaretoday

  Jeff I don't need you to appreciate my freedom of speech I shall always have it and will use it. I agree that the JWS GB has policies not freindly to victims so then Jeff why don't you use your freedom of speech and all your energy to expose them in a large forum instead of here. I believe that will help a large number of victims and possibly change some policies up at the farm or wherever the jws headquarters ends up and maybe nationwide.

  I, being familiar with the topic have to note that some of the abuse comes directly from family members so why not blame the other parent for not going to the police? Heck my best friend was molested and so where her sisters and brother and their mother did nothing so what happened there? What about uncles and brothers, why aren't the cops being told? The molestation has usually come from family members first then second instance is a family friend and third is by someone with authority. My problem is why wait for the JW policies to protect you, hell protect yourself and your own. Why would anyone expect a religion or a cult to stand up for your rights? I understand this is a worldwide problem and even if the JWS went away, there would still be molestations and not enough resources to bring the molesters to justice, it is rampant beyond control.

  As far as I have researched molestation has occurred through the ages and it crosses all cultural, socioeconomic and academic boundaries so to focus on one organizations lack of protective policies is rather myopic, a mental refractive defect. Geez my catholic family has dealt with so many issues with horny priests and altar boys and yet again nothing is done unless it is massive.