Ex-JW Mother attempts suicide with children and fails! My Family Tragedy

by Utopian Reformist 1242 Replies latest members private

• 

  NewLight2

  ((((((Mario)))))
  
  bttt
• 

  jgnat

  Mario, I am very worried about you. There is still much more to fight for, it is too soon to give up. How you feel today is temporary. Please don't make a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
• 

  Bryan

  You have to understand Mario, that time will heal your wounds. I know from experience. And I also know that when your the one healing it's difficult to take comfort in this knowledge.

  If nothing else, think of the family and friends who would be so heartbroken if you left them (us).

  One day at a time Mario... please.

  Bryan
• 

  calamityjane

  I ask that everyone document my thoughts and please relay my story to the media and make Talia's memory a good one. Help prevent religious fanatics from isolating children with home schooling and causing tragedies in the future.
  
  Speak out in Talia's name and my name for abused family members.

  Mario, how are we suppose to do the above without you. If you want to relay your story, we need you to stick around. You have more than enough support from us to make a point to the media. You need to heal and then plan an attack against this evil woman, family and organization.

  If you go, Tonya wins, her family wins, the organization wins, is that what you want?

  I can honestly say that I can only imagine the pain you are feeling, but please know we are here to help you.

  cj
• 

  Billygoat

  ((((((Mario)))))))

  I'm praying right now. Please don't let Tonya win by letting go of this world. You and Marina may not realize it now...but she will need you later in her life after she grows older. Please take my word on that...from a girl that doesn't have her father...Marina WILL NEED YOU.
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  twolips

  Daer Mario

  I know I will never understand the pain you are in. But you just cant think like this . You stll have a beautiful daughter and you need to be there for her. Nothing stays the same and one day she will need you. How will it be for her to know she hast lost you too?

  You say Italy is out of the question beacause of losing your apartment and the unemployment,,,, Well chuck it all. If you are not in this life to use it anyway. Maybe looking at it like this , Let the old life go and start new. GO to Italy and be with your family. Let them nurse you back ,get your strength to live back. Italy and blood family could be so healing for you. No imediate reminders, etc. Let some time go by and hopfully your daughter will come to visit you there with your new found strengh. Remember it's what you hoped she would do when your sister was there for you. You thought it was good for her, well it sounds good for you too.

  Remember Dear Mario nothing stays the same. Give your life a chance to heal and be there for you daughter.
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  TresHappy

  There are so many things I want to say Mario. Doing yourself in will not accomplish anything other than your death. Don't you want to be here for Marina? Tonya will never see freedom, that is all our hope. I wish I were in RI, I would help you. I thought I was helping the other night, I hope you know we all care about you. I will respect your wishes, however please choose LIFE.
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  codeblue

  (((Mario)))

  I can't tell you the extreme pain I have endured in my life, because I am fading from the JW's....(I have already been shunned by one family member).

  I have felt much like you do now........Feeling like there is no way out because the pain is so intense...feeling like I had nothing to offer anybody because I was so "empty"...

  I second what Twolips has just said to you...Maybe Italy with your family's love is EXACTLY what you need to restore your "soul"...Please think about that, ok? You have a worth that is immeasurable.........

  much love and many hugs to you,

  CodeBlue
• 

  Xandria

  Mario,

  Part of the healing process is re-claiming. Re-claiming the meaning of Talia's life, the meaning of her memory, even re-claiming the meaning of her death, from the murderous act that was perpetrated against her, by seeking justice in her name. There will come a time when you will re-claim her memory and remember the light of her life, not the darkness that took it. Time will change the texture of grief. It will not all go away, but it will soften.

  I know you did not ask for this anger and grief. On many cases, like this it is imposed on us. Like it or not, it has to be dealt with. You aren't as powerless as you have convinced yourself, that you are.

  You are the one with the power to change. It is your journey to make and you don't have to do it alone. Harboring this guilt as you have, will not help you through this process. There is going to have to be a point in time, that you forgive yourself, Mario. Forgive your humanness, for you would have to be a god in order to have prevented all this. We cannot see the future, nor know what it is fully in it for us, the only control we have is our own actions, decisions and thoughts. From this forgiveness you can grieve fully and heal. Denying your grief, would like be denying the love you have. Love connects and transcends through space and time.

  Your love, is your inner strength. Harness it.

  Despair comes without being asked, it doesn't hold on to us, we hold on to it. There is a time to let go of despair, by not fighting the feelings of sadness, "letting go" is nothing~ but feeling those feelings, grieve and letting in what heals. There is a saying: "A world that denies grief, denies love and it is fertile ground for despair".

  Tonya, needs to be responsible for her actions. She is not willing to take that step, she is apparently living in a "cotton lined" place, where they have not forced her to face the reality of her actions~ yet.

  I would not have any further contact with her, in regards to what her needs are, let her family see to that aspect. Because, I can tell it is impacting you negatively. You are right to feel anger and outrage, don't feel ashamed of that. But every time you have interaction with her or regarding her, it just rebirths that feeling of victimization again. Limit that contact, if you can.

  Your goals should be for you and your family right now.

  By virtue of your personal

  Authority

  You have the right to...

  • Gather information to make strong decisions about your and your daughter's recovery.
  • Seek help from many sources, unhindered by the demands for exclusivity.
  • Decline help from anyone with out justifying the decision. Yes, you have that right.
  • Decide for yourself whether , when and where to confront fear.
  • Trust allies in healing so far as one can trust another.

  To guard your personal

  Boundaries

  You have the right to....

  • Be touched only with, and within the limits of your consent.
  • Speak or remain silent, about any topic and at any time, as you wish.
  • Chose to accept or decline feedback, suggestions, or interpretations.
  • Ask for help in healing, without having to accept help with everything.
  • Challenge any crossings of your boundaries.
  • Take action to stop a trespass that does not cease when challenged.

  For the integrity of your personal

  Communication

  You have the right to...

  • Ask for explanation of communications, you don't understand.
  • Express a contrary view when you do understand and you disagree.
  • Acknowledge your feelings, without having to justify them.
  • Ask for changes when your needs are not being met.
  • Speak of your experience, without apology for your uncertainies.
  • Resolve doubt without deffering to the views or wishes of anyone.

  For safety in your personal

  Dependency in Therapy

  You have the right to...

  • Hire a therapist or counselor as coach, not boss, of your recovery. Unless you are a danger to yourself or others and that has to be proven.
  • Recieve expert and faithful assistance in healing from your therapist.
  • Know that your therapist will never have any other relationship with you-- business, social, or sexual.
  • Be secure against any disclosure by your therapist, except with your conscent or under court order.
  • Hold your therapist's undivided loyalty in relation to all abusers.
  • Obtain informative answers to questions about your condition, your therapist's qualifications , and any proposed treatment.
  • Have your safety given priority by your therapist, to the point of readiness to use all lawful means to neutralize an imminent threat to your life or that of someone else.
  • Recieve a commitment from your therapist that is not conditional on your "good behavior" (Habitual crime and endangerment excepted).
  • Make clear and reliable agreements about the times of sessions and of your therapist's availablity.
  • Telephone your theapist between scheduled sessions, in urgent need and recieve a return call within a reasonable time.
  • Be taught skills that lessen the risk of re-traumatization:
  • Contaiment (boundaries for recovery work);
  • Control of attention and mental imagery;
  • Systematic relaxation
  • Enjoy reasonable physical comfort during sessions.

  These are things you should have the rights to during this time of recovery.

  Best wishes,

  X.
• 

  Sunspot

  (((((Mario)))))

  I have been at the same level of despair as you are now, many years ago. There IS nothing like it, nor can one describe it accurately.

  Fortunately I was found (I had taken an overdose of two medications AND slit my wrists) . I just COULDN'T see *any* other solution than to simply quit fighting and end it all.

  As the days and weeks went by (at first I was pissed that I couldn't even do THAT right) but slowly I began to come out from under that huge hole in my soul, and having to face things (with proper medication) and as time went on I became stronger and stronger emotionally. It CAN happen, but I know you can't see that NOW.

  You say that you feel guilty for accepting kindnesses from the folks on here---but guilt only comes when you are doing something wrong! Needing friends and having them respond is NOT wrong!!! That's what we're supposed to do! NOBODY offers their friendship (in whatever form) and then feels that the recipient is the bad guy! It doesn't make sense!

  LET people do whatever they can to be of help, and accept the blessings of true friendship of this board that you spoke of. You talked about "blessings" and yet you want to turn your back to these blessings and offerings of people who have grown to love you. Maybe *we'll* feel guilty because we couldn't do enough for you.

  Love and hugs always,

  Annie