On the other hand, if a Trust Fund were established at a local bank, the local general public could also be invited to contribute. The local newspapers, radio and TV stations in the area could also be notified as to Mario's BASIC finacial needs - getting the home reparied, and his general imeadiate personal needs. Since the story WAS already in the media, it should not be too hard to get them to run a few updates. They might even be able to mention that Mario is now out of work due to his time spent visiting Talia while she was at the hospital.
NewLight2
Ex-JW Mother attempts suicide with children and fails! My Family Tragedy
by Utopian Reformist 1242 Replies latest members private
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NewLight2
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Aude_Sapere
He needs to be here for his daughter..
True. And he also needs to be available for himself. He has spent so much time emotion, energy, attention and money on others that he now needs to give attention to himself and rebuild so he can get on with living his own life as well.
As much as we each want to encourage him, especially now, I am reminded of the person I spoke about in an earlier post. When this other person came home from the hospital, too much attention was difficult endure. Life had to be drastically simplified and associates were chosen very carefully. After all the drama of the past 2months (indeed the past several years) I might be concerned about hyper-stimulation and sensory overload w/ too much cards, emails, messages etc.
There can also be an embarrassment factor. Maybe I'm overthinking this but wanted to set the thought out there for someone who has experience with treating severe depression and hopelessness to perhaps comment on.
Perhaps we can send one or two cards simply from 'Your Friends at JWD'... ??
I really like the PayPal concept if we can make it work. I have never used PayPal myself so I know nothing about it.
I appreciate Bebu's comments about anonimity. I, also, think the donations would be best if anonomous - simply from JWD - to prevent feelings of indebtedness, etc. 'JWD' simplifying the # of people to consider incase that is a factor for him. (Kinda lumps us together as just one entity instead of 50+)
Are we certain that PayPal cannot arrange for anonomous contributions?? If not, then I would feel very comfortable with having the logistics arranged by someone from here.
-Aude.
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LoverOfTruth
On the other hand, if a Trust Fund were established at a local bank, the local general public could also be invited to contribute. The local newspapers, radio and TV stations in the area could also be notified as to Mario's BASIC finacial needs - getting the home reparied, and his general imeadiate personal needs.
I thought about this, but it's something I'd be uncomfortable pursuing unless he agreed to it first.
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Aude_Sapere
Agreed.
For the reasons I mentioned in my last post.
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LoverOfTruth
Here's what a PayPal Screen Looks Like: All you need is an e-mail address to send it to. Note: if sending a payment from your credit card, do NOT choose "Quasi Cash" because your credit card company will treat it like a Cash Advance. (You can choose Services or Goods)
Log Out | Help Send Money Secure Transaction Pay anyone with an email address - even if they don't have a PayPal account! Recipient's Email : Amount : Currency : Type : Subject :
(optional)Note :
(optional) -
bebu
Newlight, that's a nice idea... but then...
Even as we think things thru here, I wonder if it might be TOO overwhelming to get the community involved, at least at this point... Mario is a man who is very appreciative of every small act, and it might be too much to feel the pressure of indebtedness to local strangers on top of all of us. It might become more stressful than helpful...
What is the best way to help him?? And avoiding giving any feeling of obligation/guilt/stress? Many people prefer to be generous givers, and are uncomfortable as receivers. (Very common feeling.) We could remind him that the board made organized donations to Vickie Boer last year, so we already have a track record for donations to members. That might help a little.
bebu
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NewLight2
In my area of the country it is a common practice to set up a trust fund for the families of those affected by a large tradegy. Last week, for instance, an office building had a natural gas explosion and 3 were killed and 1 person injured. A trust fund was established by the owner of that building to aid the families that has suffered losses. The news media broadcast the details of where to send the contrabutions.
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Sparkplug
This is my first post on this stream. I have sat here for hours and I have that PTSD or at least I was told I did. I could see and feel all of Marios pain and from page one I have been scared. So I will later write of encouragement and love for all that everyone has done when I can wrap my mind around it. but for now, I see a few points that might help. I want to get them out before I do that stupid crap I do by turning off emotions when I hit overload.
One. There is a pride factor... and for the most part, he has shared all with everyone by posting here. So would one not think that they let any crazy like me in here that Mario knew that people would know his plight as it happened. His post was a call for help if I ever saw one. AND it was PUBLIC. There is not much more humiliating than waking up after attempted suicide and realizing you have to start over. I have been there. Granted I will miss the people who helped me mostly forever, for I am DF'ed and he was presiding overseer from a long line of TX JW's. There at that time could have been nothing better than knowing it was all handled for me. No lectures, no stress, just time to get better. I was only 15, but I cant say that it would not feel the same about now. So My vote is to help Mario now.
I do not know where he worked for but they sounded like a technical field. So if it was, most places of that sort have a union. They have funds. Even if he was not union. They help. I can ask our President here in TX what can be done if anything. It sure would help to know if it was a technical field or telecom etc. So that the union can be asked for help. I know that can be discreet also.
Then I am the treasurer of a local club that is several tiers of authority....but THEY HAVE FUNDS and all one has to do is ask. I work with roughly 250 people and just in November and December our building had a silent auction and raised at least $2000.00 per family (for 3 families) to help with bills. One family had a house fire and we got them all clothed and furnished etc. We also donated a computer to a child that got his arm shot by thugs while taking the trash so that he could continue school. We adopted 400 angels for the Angel tree and raised close to 5000.00 for the Diabetes walk here in Dallas in a two week period. That was just our small team starting and not stopping. BL:AH BLAH....get to the point. Well the point is it is nationwide and it is Called the SBC Pioneers . Now the amount promised may not be that much or it could be substancial. They also are a safe outlet for recieving funds to make a donation and to make sure it is documented so nothing is lost. Also, anyone who wants to remain anonymous can stay that way because it would just say from Pioneers... funny name huh? They also have manpower. people to help go in and do as maybe a volunteer like...I cant think of his name in California, is it Valis? Not sure but looks as if he has dreadlocks on his picture. but in reading the post, he said he knew how to do disaster recovery. (Fire) I would have to ask some questions tomorrow seeing he is in RI, but it is nationwide.
Now, also, every-Walmart on the corner has a match and meet fund, community housing fund, disaster fund and familiies in need fund and the list goes on. If they do not use the money they loose it. So maybe thru someones church...on letterhead, (with a tax ID number preferably).... offer to have a fundraiser and ask Walmart to Match the proceeds in the local area. Not for Attorney fees, because most will not contribute to lawyers, but for rebuilding the home etc when he does get out. You know he will. even if it is just to sell. Dont ask the JW family, because...well they wont care about someone helping them anyway especially us.
Radio in the AM. They can get the word out quick and also are a good source to get funds brought into. If all the pledges rolling in may help make it easier for MarioThen by all means do it. And Marina. She really needs his love and help right now. and if He does not have the stress he can concentrate on her. Mario and her alone so they can heal. Maybe her being in the JW bubble is ok at the moment. Just until dad is stronger and can have strenghth to outstand all that an early teen has to offer. Do not give up rights, if that is not too late, but he can always say extreme stress. That is the truth and it should stop them from being able to do anything to his rights.
My best advice is do not double think yourself out of doing a good dead. You all want to help...so Be it.
My friend who died in 2002 told me "D----" A man gets really smart before he dies. So you have to listen to his wisdom."
Ao here is his wisdom!
Background: He had lived his life in a very harsh and alcoholic world. the few years I knew him he was sober and I had the blessings of getting past his porcupine exterior and see the sweetest man around that was inside. Mind you, I was always trying to save someone or something. This leads you to a lot of hurt. I was disgruntled angry hopless and all of the pain of the years wa making me feel like a damn fool for trying to help people. Seemed pretty hopeless to me. But this porcupine told me that all of the protective walls we build around ourselves and doubts just lead to failure. He told me if I felt a kind thought cross my head, and I was not hurting my family, DO it! RIGHT THEN. He said having lived a solitude and grumbly life that knowing it was to end any day, that he wished he had been more like I was at 25 than at his age almost doubled. He swore for every pain I felt that I had a million times more joy than he because impulsive or not, I helped instead of sitting stagnant. I had not known It helped till 6 years later, but it had made a huge difference. and leaning that almost a decade later turned around and made a huge difference in me.
Mow if he wanted to and needs to relocate. I dont know how much he has to make, but I know of a couple opportunities now. Starting at 15 and capping at 23 an hour in a yrs time full benefits.union etc. Sounds like he is more specialized than that though. It may be jumping the gun but sometimes you have to change your playmates and your playpen in order to make it thru.
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Sparkplug
Oh yeah.. and doing something like this...hepling out in a fast and sizely manner feels a lot better than 40 hours of door knocking and passing out two different sets of watchtowers a month. Plus, I dont have to wear panty hose to assist.
Anybody have an avenue to utilize or give the A-ok to look into these things. Contributions , not pantyhose.
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cruzanheart
Sparkplug, you have some great and practical ideas! That gives us something to work with.
Hugs,
Nina
