by Mulan 128 Replies latest jw experiences
I wouldn't go empty handed though, I'd bring copies of the letter and make sure people were reading it.
The thing is, everyone there will notice she isn't there, and will think she is the one who is cold and wouldn't come to her own son's wedding.
I'll try and get her phone number. I agree that she needs to know this. But, he probably told her what a "great" letter he wrote to his mother.
I agree with you, Princess -- make his "perfect" day a little more interesting! Unfortunately, I think the elders would probably praise him for that letter because it is such a cold, judgmental, emotionless piece of garbage, and they pride themselves on being just that way. I like Scully's letter, and I love the idea of one of you calling his fiance (and sending her a copy of the letter). You might want to send it to her parents too.
And send the happy couple a copy of "Crisis of Conscience" as a wedding present.
Nina
(removed)
I think you should make copies of the letter, put them in a fancy envelopes with the words "expressions of love...", pay someone to place them on all of the guest tables during the reception and let the love flow :)
There is nothing against a da'd or df'd person going to a wedding at a KH. I think one of the previous posters was right on about this. He doesn't want her there to remind him of a sad element of his life. He can go through the day pretending all is beautiful and perfect in his life.
DF'd and DA'd persons are allowed at wedding ceremonies. This is a personal decision made between the parties involved. Inky's son has apparently made a personal decision that she not be at his wedding. This is so sad. The elders, if confronted with a letter or call about her son's decision, will probably say that this is between family members. The elders have a way of effectly enforcing their views on others without taking any responsibility.
I still think Inky should still attend the wedding, IT IS HER RIGHT! No one in this boy's life will ever be able to take the place of his mother. He should not be able to "go through the day pretending all is beautiful and perfect".
Mrs. Shakita
(((((INKY))))))))))
There's the hug. Here's the rant.
F*** that worthless maggot of a human. I hope he does not copulate. I don't want his progeny on my planet.
ash
The thing is, everyone there will notice she isn't there, and will think she is the one who is cold and wouldn't come to her own son's wedding.
Come on, Mrs. Former-Elder's-Wife ...surely you have ways of making sure that everyone knows the real story, don't you??? (Please tell me yes!)
Ugh. ((((((((((((Inky))))))))))))) Just when I think I've read the worst letter a JW can write, someone has to go lower!
Because you left the brotherhood, I chose to have no relationship with you. I love the creator and the brotherhood far more than I love you. Not to say I wasn't heartbroken; I am just confident that I am doing what is right and will do it at all costs.
And my family wonders why I don't ever want to be a JW again. I don't ever, EVER want to associate with people that 'loving and kind' again!!!!!
Dispicable. Totally, utterly, unbelievably dispicable.
And what's worse is I'm sure his JW cronies are applauding him for his 'stand'.
Excuse me, I'm going to vomit.
essie
Calling it the brotherhood, makes it sound like the KKK or something. I am so sorry. I wonder if the young woman he is going to marry is really all that mild? Hopefully she will have a mind of her own, and show him that women need to be respected. I hope she takes his headship and shoves it where it belongs. That whole letter was a mean power trip, and designed to make him feel good about himself. Most abusers are that way.
Also, even if the elders are shown the letter, they will not be upset. That is what a good jw is supposed to do, make the offender feel so bad they will want to come back. They think shunning makes you miss them so much, you will beg to be let back in. Makes me want to run farther and faster.
Pam
Mulan, thank you for posting this letter.
Inky, big hugs.
Keep in mind that he is under mind control and is also in great pain. It is no excuse for what he wrote, but it does help to explain why he wrote it. Hopefully someday he will realize how heartless his letter sounds. He really should have had someone read it over first; they might have talked him out of sending it.
I will always love you, though my love has changed.
He wrote this too. It may be some small consolation to you that I think this line is expressive of the love he really does feel, deep down. I think our families do love us, but their love is masked by great pain caused by the mind control of an organization that tells them they must shun they people they love. Think back to when you were JW and remember the people you loved that you had to shun because the WTBTS told you that you had to do so. Think about the pain it caused you.
I have seen a lot of posts about retaliation. I would seriously urge you not to do so. That would be a mistake. Giving into the pain that this letter has caused will only continue the cycle of hurt. This letter was unnecessary and needlessly painful but there is no need to respond in kind with anything you would later regret. Response from you would only give him justification for his original letter, unfortunately.
Again, I am truly sympathetic to your circumstances. It is a very difficult thing to have to experience, and made even more difficult when they act cruelly out of self-righteousness.
Tammy
