CC said........
....I guess it's time I said something. I've been dealing with losing my job last week and trying to help Tink with the suicide of her friend a few weeks ago. To say the least it's been a bad Feb
First, I want to say that the reason I'm writing this is because it's still bothering me. Why? I guess it's that I still feel that Tink and WG think I did something wrong. I hate feeling that way. Especially when I know I didn't. And I don't feel like I disrespected anyone, as WG said I did. I also feel that being under stress shouldn't excuse the email I got. I will say that I am sometimes overly sensitive. Sometimes that's not a good thing.
If anyone here has read my posts, then you now that I, too, have been under a lot of stress for the past year. I lost my job (bankruptcy), my savings went, then it was either my car or apartment. I have two young boys also. And I am alone. I have a daughter, but she is struggling too. She has kids of her own and is alone also. Two of my sons got laid off from their jobs. So, with things the way they've been, I have been forced to get Food Stamps to feed my boys. Something I really hate and swore I would never do. I was working part time, but that was not enough to support me and the kids. I had to move in with my daughter. And now, I babysit and get paid by the state. I don't make half of what I made before. I have resumes everywhere. I even passed the exam for a city job, right before our mayor put a hiring freeze on them.
I came so close to suicide that I took myself to a hospital and stayed for 8 hours. With acute clinical depression, I'm seeing a doctor each week. So, I can identify with some of what CC and Tink are going through. I understand and sympathize with CC about the job. And I certainly can sympathize with Tink about her friend. Although I was on the "other end".
What I can't understand is why Tink reacted like she did. Stress just doesn't make sense to me. Because even after the first email I recieved from her, which brought me close to tears, I could have lashed out, been really nasty, and told her off. After all, I didn't even know who the hell she was. And after all, I've been under way too much stress lately. But my reply was polite....and apologetic.
To (name omitted)'s wife.....
> >I am sorry if this seemed inappropriate to you.
> But, I am on a religious
> >board with him. I decided to send EVERYONE a nice
> card, not just your
> >husband. I only know him from the board.
> >
>
>http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.aspx?id=46585&site=3
> >
> >It seems in doing something I thought was kind, I
> offended you. I apologize
> >for any misunderstanding.
> >
> >April
I also don't think something like that should be discussed on a public forum, it should have stayed private.
CC....I waited, and waited, and waited...after my last email practically begging your wife to read the link. I was very nice. I didn't fly off the handle. I got no response. I posted the email with NO NAMES. And I wouldn't have told anyone who you were. Because at the time I posted the email, I still didn't know who your wife was. If I'd wanted to make it publc, I would have posted the emails as is. Because I was sure if I'd posted "who" I sent the card to, many here would have known who it was. The fact is, that I got ANOTHER email from Tink. After she told us who she was. Not a nice one. And I didn't post that one. But I did block the address. I opened it expecting an apology, but it was far from it. I don't need to read about how "pathetic" I am.
Lone Wolf said...
That's why I always try to go to an apparently offending party and ask them first before reacting. It's saved a tremendous amount of heartache on both sides.
This would have solved the entire thing. Had Tink emailed me and simply asked who I was...why I sent the card....and gotten the "whole story" (as WG keeps saying)..then this would have been a beautiful Valentine's Day thread. It's what I would have done.
worldly girl.....
My friend (Tink) has been through HELL in the last few months and it upset her to feel disrespected by someone on this board. There are a lot of things in this world that money can buy, but RESPECT is not one of them. Thanks to JW's everywhere I have learned that if you don't defend yourself and speak your mind, whether the majority agrees or not, SOMEONE else will do the thinking for you....
And I have been through hell in the last year. But I refuse to let that make me talk to people the way she talked to me, and which is why I'm speaking my mind now. I DID NOT disrespect ANYONE. And I resent being made to feel as if I did.
WG.....said...
Furthermore, I feel like a lot of people on this board tend to take sides BEFORE they get the whole story.... reminds me why I got sick of coming to this board and hearing all the arguing and bickering between people who come here who have a common thread..... I'm sure what happened between Tink and Tatiana, could have been resolved without all the name calling and bickering,
What happened between Tink and I could have been resolved with a simple, friendly email. Something along the lines of..."Hi, I'm CC's wife. Who are you? Did you know he was married? We appreciate the card, but in the future we'd rather you not send anything....thanks...Tink."
And some people here did just as Tink did. She jumped to conclusions before she got THE WHOLE STORY.(WG's words) So, I don't think apologies are even necessary. And if it HADN'T been Tink who sent the emails, but someone on this board that most people don't get along with...(say FredHall???)...well, I think things would have been much different.
I'm not perfect...God knows...so far from it. But, being stressed shouldn't make you hurt people. And I was hurt. And if a simple email would have been sent, instead of the one I got, things would have been much different. I told myself I would never send out any cards again. Even though most were appreciated. I told myself that I'm too damned sensitive. But I can't change that, no matter how hard I try. But, I'm not going to let this stop me from being nice to people. I refuse to.
As WG said.....
I do not bow to people when they put pressure on me to admit some "wrong" that they believe I've committed.
I refuse to let you make me feel like I did something wrong. I didn't. Stress or no stress, I should have never gotten those emails. BTW....she got a card too...
Love...
April
