Im from the UK (yes we are better than the Yanks ha ha)
I became a witness in 1985 and was disfellowshipped in 1996.
Regular Pioneered for 10 years and was married at 18 to a ministerial servant. Had 3 kids, was abused and left. Was disfellowshipped for talking to 'friendly' with another brother who was disfellowshipped at the same time. The ground were 'committing adultery in the heart' Aas we hadn't even thought of sex never mind doing it.....Amazing to be out can finally breathe...as the circumstances forced us together and we had no friends we stayed together...getting married in 5 WEEKS !!!
HELLO? HELLO? "ALL" SIGN IN???????
Hi, all! I'll reintroduce myself. I'm almost 39(end of April!), the mother of 3 beautiful daughters. I was raised a JW and my parents are still active. I was baptized at fifteen, married to a JW for 17 years who left my daughters and I for a co-worker. I felt betrayed by my ex and the org. I was DA"D in 1999 and have since married an extraordinarily loving old hippy and now also have 2 great stepkids. I have also been friends with Thinker's Wife for about 23 years. We live in the same area and have lunch when we can.
Hello ,Ive made a few posts in the last month and have enjoyed everyones stories.So I thought I had better intro myself.JI,doesnt describe my personality at all as I have never been one to 'rock the boat'thats a skill Im hoping comes with age.I actualy chose that name as afriend of mine was called that, for going to the Elders about another Elders more than fatherly affection for a number of sisters he was 'helping'.
Anyway I am the middle child of three,and mostly grew up in the (truth).My father studied, and came to meetings for years to please my mother.And when he realised nothing pleases her he quit!
My mother says my father was so controling that he caused her to be anorexic.I know better now as she was the one to use religion to control us.
To skip some sordid details,my Dad left when I was 13 after being separated on and off for most of thier marriage.This left us all heartbroken especialy the stories my mum told us of how dad 'treated' her.(which I have now taken to be distorted truths)So my brother grew up very angry and protective and I didnt talk to my dad for 3yrs.
I decided to become the perfectJW,to try and get love and approval from my mother.Thus it was my sister and I who requested to be taught witnessing and my sis also learned sign language to use at meetings and witnessing.
I was baptised at 14 and in all honest intentions toward worshiping jehovah.During this time i suffered from illness we supposed to be glandular fever,this lasted on and off for three years so my school life was hardly worth mention.But that wasnt important anyway as my mother trully believed we wouldnt have use for education anyway in this old system!
Our congregation was a power struggle between elders with'personality differences' as I have seen and heard happens in many congs..
Seems to be a popularity contest to me!
We were severely effected by the rumers, gossip ,and cliques.
And as I associated with witness girls in school this was very hard to get away from ever.Girls can be so cruel and although it was years ago It still hurts.
My mother soon got sick of being the faithful single sister,and had a fling with our Realestate agent!They didnt do the dirty deed ,but a sister saw her out with him and told the Elders.During the investigation Mum started smoking again(she hadnt smoked in 17 yrs)and she was given so many days to stop..which she didnt achieve so she was disfellowshipped.
My sister and I kept going to meetings for a while and then fazed out without even being noticed.Mum went to meetings for a while but they refused to reinstate her until 18mths as she had to be an example to the cong,even though she had stopped smoking.Mum was so disheartened, as this was life and death being decided so she stopped going regularly and found herself a toy boy.
My sister and I did the rebelious teen thing..so mum moved out and left us to it..in her house.We were pretty much looking after ourselves at ages 15 and18.
My mother is once again trying to be reinstated.But the saga of her life continues as she abuses alcohol ,and has a3yr old to deal with.
Iwent back to the meetings two years ago and saw the same things as before within congregations.I also was shunted between people I studdied with and just when they though they had me again I found out about Bethsarim and other things the society kept hidden.I asked the bro I was studying with and he wouldnt even go there as it was appostate!
I also didnt like being told by this bro to keep dragging my man along as he looks like he will follow whatever I do.He was falling asleep at the meetings,and I decided if he hated it that much i wasnt going to MAKE him .Or my daughter.
So im at the point where im starting to wonder if spirituality rests inside yourself or your soul(ask oprah).But that wont solve the problems of the world, and what if something happens to my daughter4 or son8mths?(knocking on wood for luck)
I do wonder if i would need religion then for hope.
Anyone have the answers??
thanks for listening to that load of my mind peoples!!
Oh my goodness I didnt mean to talk so much ....sorry!
Hey Rob, It's about time you got that up there!!
Love your name. Had an elder insinuate that about me one time. Pinned him to to wall with it. He backed down.
Sorry to hear about all the horrible things you went through. I think spirituality emanates from within. We all need to find our own place. Sounds like you are doing just fine!!!
Okay, I'll jump in at the end of this, lol. I have a tendency just to hang around on Main street.
I live in Perth, Australia, for the past two years. Before that, I lived for 20 years in Ozark, Mo, USA which is where I attended the local congregation until 1996, when I finally started coming out of my zombie sleep. Fortunately, all my daughters follwed me out, and they're relatively normal after having been raised in that religion. I spent 30 years in it, off and on, but was baptized for only the last 10 years I spent inside the Borg. So glad to be out and living again!
Live as you will wish to have lived when you are dying.
-- Christian Furchtegott Gellert
Nope. But that's not unusual for me.
However, I think a lot of us spend the majority of our lives waiting - one way or another. Some of us spend our wholes lives waiting for something better - look at any jw.
I was raised Catholic. Began studying with JWs at 13, was baptized at 16. I pioneered from 17-20. I married a "wordly" man at 21; had two children within the next 2 years; divorced a few years after. I decided to go to college after the divorce because I had no job skills, and I needed a means to support my kids. Everyone who was anyone in the congregation disapproved of my decision to go to school.
My children and I were in three different congregation over the years, and we were treated like outcasts (I believe because I was a single parent) in all of them. Several years later my ex-husband & I tried dating each oher again. I made the terrible mistake of having relations with him, and I went to the elders & confessed. They kicked me out. The weird thing was that they told me that I ended up in the position that I was in because I didn't rely enough on the "friends"; that because I was a single parent & had to work full-time,etc., I was too isolated from others in the congregation. So their solution for me was to completely isolate me. The end of the story is that I haven't seen my ex since that event (he is now remarried). I am still a single parent (and managing well most of the time). I have real friends now who are much better friends than any JWs I knew.
I'm glad that I found this site. For a long time I thought I was the only person who saw that there is a lack of love in the organization. I don't post often, but I read frequently. The thoughts that people have expressed here (even the ones that I don't agree with) have really helped me.
Hi Bonnie. Welcome! By any chance are you from Washington State? None of my business, but your story sounds familiar and I thought you might be a friend of my ex-sister-in-law who left the J-dubs some years ago. She lives in Tacoma, Wa.
My wife and I will be moving in a month to Oregon. If you're on the west coast maybe we could have a coast wide "Apostafest". They have one in Montana each summer.