Your pain brings tears. How JWs put a block up for parents natural feelings. Why cannot they see their is no need of this pain for them or you. I have been watching families suffering for 50+ years now. Gma-tired2
Heartbreaking talk with my parents.
by cognisonance 96 Replies latest members private
-
-
problemaddict
Absolutely heart breaking. All I can do is think about WHERE in the bible is this kind of treatment in any way to be considered Christ-like. But I realize it isn't about that. There is no telling them otherwise. I mean if you grew up and were never baptized, and therfore could never have been disfellowshipped, they could talk to you with no problem at all?
And the entire time they look at it as a test. This isn't loyalty to God, its loyalty to men who claim to speak for him, but miss the point entirely.
I am really sorry you went through this. Kudos for you for dealing with your parents in kindness. Their responses would have made me too upset to still be nice. I'm a hothead.
-
Billy the Ex-Bethelite
What a painful conversation, but thanks for sharing.
"but you still don’t believe the same way we do and if we spend time with you our faith can subtle begin to wither by you saying things inadvertently that is different to our perspective on matters."
For it supposedly being "the truth", WT sure is scared of having JWs talk to exJWs. If they really had "light", why would they be so afraid of "darkness"? Clearly, their practice of shunning just proves that WT is the darkness trying to run and hide from the light of day. Mom should have admitted, "if I spend much time around you, WT is afraid the brainwashing might start to wear off."
"Loyalty to him is more important than family bonds."
Sounds like your dad hasn't really considered the possibility of ending up in a nursing home or with financial problems. As far as WT is concerned, once a JW has outlasted their usefulness, then they are their family's problem. Jehovah won't help them with their bills or medical care.
"Are you happy?"
If you are okay financially, that is the next key question for parents, any parents inside or outside the cult. As far as your answer, JWs are no strangers to divorce, and it's common knowledge in most congregations that lots of sheeples have to medicate their depression. So they can't pretend that just being a JW is happifying.
You didn't ask for advice, but I won't let that stop me from giving it! Rather than necessarily considering this to be good-bye, wait a couple of weeks, and then give them a very brief phone call. And I do mean "brief", cult-free, and dry-eyed. As simple as, "How's Dad doing? He mentioned his back was bothering him." "How's the car running?" Maybe share some personal good news, or mention that you talked to an old family friend. And wrap up the conversation with, "I hate to chat and run, but I was just about to leave and wanted to check on you guys. Take care. Bye." Make the underlying message, "regardless of your religion, I'm going to be a good son." As with my parents, chances are very slim that they'd ever need anything, but when they do, we're ready to do the right thing.
-
Lozhasleft
That was so sad to read. I feel so sorry for you all. Well done though for expressing your love to your parents despite the conditioned responses you got. And you did 'see' their love for you.
Loz x
-
Marvin Shilmer
-
cognisonance,
I’ve listened to and read countless stories like yours. Each time it cuts like a knife.
So much pain. So much suffering.
Thanks for sharing, and please know you’re not alone in the suffering.
So glad Simon provides this place for folks to share some of this burden. It’s not a remedy, but it sure helps.
Thanks Simon for having and maintaining this place.
“Dad: That’s not the same thing. We’re God’s organization, they are false religion.”
Look what Watchtower does to a perfectly good and decent brain. Just look at it.
Marvin Shilmer
-
tootired2care
You gave it a valiant attempt, and props to you for having the courage and restraint to try and engage them in a civil and rational discussion. I feel for you, and I'm sorry it didn't work out better. I hate how this cult holds our families hostage over one silly Pauline scripture that was never meant to apply to family. One has to wonder if as the years continue to drag on with no end in sight if this spell they have over our folks will falter. The hardcore dubs have got to be getting very tired of it...I wonder if deep down that is true of your parents as well. Thanks for sharing.
-
baltar447
That was a tough read. I can't imagine how tough that must have been. Hang in there.
-
cantleave
((((sorry))))
We often talk about cognitive dissonance and circlular reasoning but to see a real conversation in black and white, where these concepts dominate, is scary and heartbreaking.
-
Dagney
cognisonance, (typing through tears here), thank you for sharing this. Very smart to go for the memories not the doctrine. And it's true...the memories are real life...not an intangible dogma in a book or magazine.
You've done good. I hate the "stand" the WT forces parents/children/sibs (everyone) to take. Especially aging parents. Unnecessary stress, all for nothing.
Best wishes.
-
nugget
The tragedy is that they cannot see the harm their religion is doing. I am so sorry for you this religion corrupts all that is good.