Heartbreaking talk with my parents. (page 3)

fiddler

I feel for them. It's like we were all locked up in a cage, I finally found a way out, and I want to help them leave the cage, but they just don't want to.

It's feelings like that where I got one of my avatars from........"Whitebird in a golden cage...........whitebird must fly or she will die"

I recently lost my JW father. I flew home to see him because he was dying and I was never allowed near him...........I know the hurt and frustration. You handled things so well..........I don't think you could have said anything better.

One thing that always stands out to me in conversations we have with our JW relatives is that they always fall back on the Jehovah card (which is really the Watchtower and the governing body, but whatever) The comment your mom made here was so telling:

Mom: True, but you still don’t believe the same way we do and if we spend time with you our faith can subtle begin to wither by you saying things inadvertently that is different to our perspective on matters. We simply don’t know you anymore. You’re a different person.

She's confusing faith with loyalty. Real faith can't be shaken by 'inadvertent comments' you might make. This is a loyalty issue and the society has interwoven the trademark name of the ancient Semitic god Jehovah with loyalty to the governing body so masterfully that the rank and file witness cannot distinguish loyalty to a manmade organization from faith in god.

Also, you are obviously NOT a different person just judging from the contents of the discussion you had. You simply do not believe in their religion.

That is another part of the WT control.......trying to divorce themselves from the word religion. They get TAX EXEMPTION for being a religion!

Dictionary meaning: (My additions added in color)

RELIGION Noun
The belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, esp. a personal God or gods. (In their case, the controlling power is the GB)
Details of belief as taught or discussed. (Watchtower study, TM School, assemblies)
Synonyms
faith - belief - creed - denomination

Anyway, my heart goes out to you. You did all you could do.

3dogs1husband

bawling

cognisonance

Wow, I appreciate all the support and comments. I'll try to respond to some of these when I get a chance but I'm too busy at work at the moment. Thanks so much everyone!

flipper

Some really good points have been made here.

Billy the x said what I was thinking. You do not have to follow the cult's rules. I would call them and send notes from time to time. Even if they don't reply much, or at all, you are setting a good example of how family should love each other. As mind controlled as they are, it would still be something rolling around in the back of their minds - your loving behavior toward them, and that you are living a good life.

You did a really good job keeping your cool with them. Mrs. Flipper

cofty

You have my sympathy. I hope they wake up before its too late.

I turned up unannounced at my parents house - they live 100 miles from here - about years ago. I behaved as if everything was totally normal and caught them off-guard. In the long-term it has made no difference.

I have decided this week to confront them in the near future. The difference is I am angry with them at the moment and intend to tell them so.

Yan Bibiyan

I have not read such raw story in a while....

Thank you for having the courage to put it out in the open. I am sure it struck many cords on a different level with different people (myself included).

Hang in there. "You are a different person", to quote your mom - people obviously change. You never know what advancing age or the realization that thetre is no big A may do. Just be there for them.

I feel for you bro, really...

cofty

" Loyalty to him is more important than family bonds. "

Wow - that says it all doesn't it?

cognisonance

Billy the x and Flipper,

I realized this too while typing this up actually, I don't have to follow the religion's rules. I came under the premise that this needs to be a good bye for me as well (actually my psychologist suggested that I go and talk to them like that focusing mostly on the good memories as if this was the last time I get to talk to them, as opposed to say... talking about why I don't believe or trying to change them).

You both are right. While they my have to treat me like I'm virtually dead, I don't have to ignore them in return.

cult classic

WT has got us over a barrel with the whole family thing. It's not too difficult making new friends, but we've only got one family.

Nathan Natas

You are fortunate that you had pretty decent parents.

Not all of us did. How old were you when your Mom first told you that your birth ruined her life? I was 8.

My Dad was no winner either, he skipped out when Mom became a JW. Died a few years ago.

"Hey, Dad, thanks for NOTHING. Literally NOTHING."

Heartbreaking talk with my parents.

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