Heartbreaking talk with my parents.

by cognisonance 96 Replies latest members private

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  cognisonance

  fiddler,

  Yeah it got worse. I had probably 2 more decent conversations with my parents since. The last was about two hours long and was wonderful (I printed a 12x18" photograph of a recent scenic vacation as a gift to them, along with my mom's favorite chocolates, and a funny gift for my dad). We just talked about life and enjoyed conversation. As if nothing was wrong....

  But then my dad's countenance changed profoundly, a mix of stomach churning heartache. With his head tilted down, and him picking at his thumbs, he began speaking softly:

  
  Dad: "We can't keep doing this. We just can't"

  (Now tearing up)
  

  Dad: "We love you so much, but you know we shouldn't be talking with you."

  (Turning and looking at me)
  

  Dad: "We must trust that doing things Jehovah's way, no matter how much we don't want too or how much it hurts, will be the best course of action in the long run"

  These were essentially my Dad's last words to me. Subsequent attempts to talk to them or otherwise communicate have been stopped before we could even have a normal conversation.
  
• 

  maksutov

  That's really heartbreaking. My dad and my in-laws have just recently started shunning me but I never had a particularly close relationship with any of them. It still hurts though. I can't imagine how painful those conversations must be for you.
  
• 

  John Aquila

  Hey cognisonance

  I’m new here but I “Feel” the strong emotions you are feeling because I am living them. Hang in there, although many feel this religion is going to continue forever, I feel differently. I feel they are gasping for air to stay alive.

  When I came in the late 60s early 70s the average growth was 15% a year. Now it is 2% a year. I have seen firsthand the declining zeal of publishers and the eminence of the GB fall from Godlike figures to mere mortal men.Before it was a rarity to see one of the GB, it was like seeing Moses after he talked to God.

  (Exodus 34:29, 30) When Aaron and all the sons of Israel got to see Moses, why, look! the skin of his face emitted rays and they grew afraid of coming near to him.
  
  

  Today the GB are seen more as goofballs
  

  People are finally starting to notice that something is not right. And the JWorg is a good thing because it exposes the JWs to the internet. Hey, humans are curious by nature. Sooner or later everyone takes a peek. Hopefully your parents will starting wondering, and that’s where it all starts.
• 

  cognisonance

  Hi John,

  I suspect that there is a bit of confirmation/selection bias here on these forums about the changing attitudes among JWs. I think that for the majority of them, they are still well asleep and under the live-forever-in-paradise mind control. This religion has been one of constant change. For most, I hypothesis it's business as usual for most: go to the meetings, read the publications, go out in field service, rinse and repeat.

  Nonetheless, your perspective is interesting and I really, really hope you are right. My parents come in during the 1980s.
  
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  John Aquila

  Hey cognisonance

  I know it’s discouraging to hear every day that life goes on as usual in the JW-world. You mentioned confirmation bias and that is exactly what we have to resist from our perspective. We have a tendency to remember those Few astonishing events in the WT World, but we forget the vast sea of negative data regarding the WT

  We as humans notice the short stretch of cool days, but we ignore the long-term global warming trend. We look at the downturn in the housing market and have feelings of anxiety or dismay, but we forget the half century of housing being one of the best investments a family could make. Sawtooth data trend lines is a good example of confirmation bias. This is where our senses are geared to focus on each tooth’s up and down angle while the overall direction of the blade is invisible to us.

  In the same manner we look at some of the changes in the WT like jworg, jwBroadcasting, Cart-witnessing, and other innovations by the WT, and think they are business as usual.

  But the overall trend in the WT Organization, studied in decades instead of months or even a few years reveals they have been going down for years. They are almost at a point where those leaving are catching up with those being baptized. So this is really good news.

  The only thing that would give them a booster shot is some unusual terrible event like a WW3 or something like that. But then again all religions would get a booster shot and it would be short term.
• 

  Crazyguy

  I may have gotten reinstated just to have a relationship with my parent's as long as they were not the type to shun me for not going to meetings anymore.. Then after reinstatement I would start showing scriptures about how Un loving the borg is for having people shun one another. Scum bags.
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  Oubliette

  We must trust that doing things Jehovah's way, no matter how much we don't want too or how much it hurts, will be the best course of action in the long run

  Q: If it's really so "right" why does it cause so much pain to everyone involved? Is this really what God wants?

  A: No. It isn't what and decent God would want for his children. And the reason it causes so much pain is because it isn't right!

  Let's review: It's a cult!