Heartbreaking talk with my parents. (page 4)

Nathan Natas

I know, it's hard to figure out how MY birth ruined the life of cognisonance's Mom, but that's what she told me.

(Obtuse humor sometimes helps)

You're fine with the humor; it can help us deal with difficult topics. I'm so sorry to hear that your Dad abandoned you and your mom was verbally abusive like that. What a horirble thing to tell a child.

OnTheWayOut

What a sad yet beautiful story. If you ever have another encounter, and I bet you will, force a hug on them at the end.

Witness My Fury

If you can bear it emotionally then you can force contact on them from time to time. No need to play the watchtower game your end is there?

dissonance_resolved

I'm so sorry you had to go through this- how sad and unnecessary! It is fear of having this same conversation with my JW parents that has kept me from walking away completely- every meeting that I force myself to go to is just to be able to keep talking to them. What goal does that serve? I'm not contributing spiritually, financially or in any other way to the organization. It's actually a danger to the org to force me to continue to attend meetings and potentially sully the cleanness of the congregation. If only there were an honorable discharge...

cognisonance

What a sad yet beautiful story. If you ever have another encounter, and I bet you will, force a hug on them at the end.

I sure will try!

There is a beautiful side to the story, you're right. It felt good to still see them, connect with them about those found memories, and for us to tell each other how much we love one another. Overall, I still feel like it was a good conversation and much better than the last time I talked to them when I also told them about my affair and having to get DF'd. I didn't want that prior conversation to be our last for sure.

neverscreamagain

Cognisonance - Wow, that was a tough one to read. Good thoughts go out to you and I can more than relate to your situation. You hang in there.

Looking back, many of us here were at one time were like your parents, blindly obeying without question. It shames me that I was once a part of this corporation/cult disguised as a religion.

When I took a stand in not shunning my only child, because my conscience would not tolerate it, I lost my wife of many years.

Words cannot express how truly evil and vile the cancer that is Jehovah's Witnesses is.

redvip2000

truly sad. How anybody can possibly think that this type of attitude has a place in anything remotely christian is beyond me. It continues to amaze me, the level of control that the organization is able to exert on folks, turning what otherwise would be normal kind people, into self righteous robots. What possible reason is there, to believe that God (if you believe in God), creator of love and kindness, champion of mercy and confort, would be against a parent extending a warm embrace to a son, regarless of any sins or circumstances. This sort of damage is only mitigated, because many parents in the same situation are able to ride the fine line of contact with DF'ed children, and ignore the organization hardline view of "emergency only" contact, and instead have a full relationship with their kinds who are in this situation. Sadly, your parents are strictly "by the book" on this issue.

Watkins

So very hard to read that exchange.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. But you did get to emphasize how very much you love them, and they you. That matters a lot!

So many have handled similar encounters very badly, but you did the right thing - you tried hard to reach across the breach and that counts. Plus, none of you let it devolve into anger and accusations.

You're right - only wt religion stands in your way. You never know - maybe their own cognitive dissonance will kick-in and they'll begin to see ttatt. Many parents must be pushed to that point over 'having to' shun their own children because the wt says so. I wish you the best of hope.

watkins

Hortensia

What a brave and sincere effort. It might have an affect, you never know. At least you took the high road, made sure they know you love them and that it is the religion -- not you -- that is causing the pain.

Heck, like Jgnat said, you might have to invent an emergency now and then.

Heartbreaking talk with my parents.

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