Heartbreaking talk with my parents. (page 9)

tiki

as everyone has expressed - very very sad situation, and you maintained a level head and appealed to common sense. my heart goes out to all who have such situations in their life. it seems to me that the best thing is to ignore the religious stance and simply go about life and treat them appropriately as parents. invite them out to eat....go over and visit.... go for a walk or a ride....whatever.....be there and be supportive of them - show them that you are a normal caring person - and let them see your happinesses.......and make them aware of your successes in life. and if they kick you out - demand a reason beyond the ingrained chant.

cognisonance

As regards suggestions about how even though they shun me, that I don’t have to shun them back, that I can still try to invite them into my life, call, write, visit, and continue to reach out, what happens if they respond like my childhood best friend, my cousin, that was like a brother to me growing up (we were always together from ages 3 to 14, going on vacation, comming over my house after school since his mom worked, etc). We stayed in contact often until I was DF'd).

This week I sent him a text saying that I was thinking about him and hope everything is going well for him. I get this response:

Please do not make this harder on me. I would appreciate you respecting my wishes and my beliefs and not contact me again. Please do not reply to this text. Thank you.

So what do you do when the person you are reaching out to makes your efforts to not ignore them in kind as not “respecting [his] wishes and [his beliefs].” What do you do when they tell you explicitly, emphatically not to contact them? Wouldn’t trying to continue just upset anger them? My cousin is a very kind, loving, empathic, and caring person. I’ve never had him treat me this way before.

ABibleStudent

Hi cognisonance, You can choose to either follow the WTBTS's rules or get creative. Do you know Einstein's definition of insanity? "Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result."

Have you heard about Steve Hassan or his methods? Have you thought to call Steve Hassan at 617-396-4638 and talk to him or one of his coaches? You can checkout Steve Hassan's website or watch his videos to learn other ideas to connect with the the authentic persona of JWs who you love.

Have you thought about creating a Facebook page or Wordpress website where you post about your memories with JWs as well as the new memories that you are making with non-JWs? After creating your website, send an email with a link to your website to all your JW friends and relatives and write "I created and dedicate this website to you so that you know how much I love you and I hope that in the future you will want to contact me more than follow the direction of the Watchtower Society." If you do create your website make sure to include lots of pictures of you having fun with non-JWs to counter the WTBTS's propaganda about ex-JWs being druggies, alcholics, derelicts, etc.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

cognisonance

I wanted to bump my old thread for new comers. I hope this can be of help to others to see they are not alone in dealing with the gut wrenching aspects of this cult.

ToesUp

So VERY sad. I am sorry you had to experience that. It must have been VERY painful for you. Who says this religion doesn't destroy families.

We have 2 children and I can't even comprehend doing this to either of my children. It is NOT loving! They wouldn't even hug you? Unbelievable!

Hang in there. I hate what this cult has done to peoples lives!

cognisonance

Thanks ToesUp it was (is still) hard. I can't even have a conversation with my parents anymore if I happen to just drop by for a visit. They now block me at the door. I've come to accept this is how things are and get that they are under thought control. I won't give up hope though that things might change in the future. Of course, they have the same hope about me. It's just so sad and unnecessarily painful for all involved.

cognitivedizzy

I kind of share your user name , and I am a hundred % sure I will suffer the same fate .... fade at 5% now

NewYork44M

Thank you for sharing.

brandnew

Im a very hard person to make cry.........but i did......because i was in your shoes....sorry for your situation...

Seize the day my friend.......seize the day ! ! !

fiddler

I read your post 2 years ago and have just reread it and it still is just as heartbreaking. So sorry that nothing has changed in two years and that it has in fact gotten worse.

So so many of us here know and have heard the same from our loved ones. It does always come down to invoking the name Jehovah. I wonder if there could be a way to tactfully get our JW family to focus solely on that name at the very start of any discussion? There is scholarly research into the early etymology of the Tetragramoton at our fingertips, something that was not available (as easily) when most of our parents studied. Ask them, 'did you thoroughly research the name Jehovah from every possible source back then? (Or just accept from this ONE source that they had done the research accurately) Since it was going to be such an important factor in every aspect of your lives wouldn't it have been important to make sure that THIS organization was representing the name accurately?' How about going back and 'making sure of all things' that the JWdotORG aka Watchtower B & T Society have all the facts?'

I know that this too is wishful thinking but honestly, I myself know that back in the day, even though I Loved doing research, I just accepted what the WT taught. I think the biggest motivator was living forever and the resurrection. So the name Jehovah was associated with a very strong desire to LIVE! Yep, these charlatans have figured out how to run their religious business very well and care not a bit about the pain and suffering they have caused to so many families.

Heartbreaking talk with my parents.

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