Bipolar Landlady kicks me out! (page 9)

EntirelyPossible

She's a manipulative train wreck. If I had gotten that email, my response back would be pretty short, something like "I'm sorry, you must have mistakenly thought you emailed someone who gives a shit what you have to say."

mrsjones5

" I don't want to say anything negative to my daughter about Deb, but, I don't know what Deb wrote to Lily."

Doesn't matter what the woman said to your daughter. You don't have to be cruel or negative about it. Just say the truth, things didn't work out and you're no longer living there. Leave it at that.

rebel8

Polytechnic congregation

I know this is OT but...isn't that a contradiction in terms? LOL

Quendi

I am so sorry, Terry, to learn about your circumstances. I lived for more than a year with a man who suffered from OCD and, I suspect, was bi-polar as well. The negative impact he had on my life and health was considerable, and I was only too glad when circumstances allowed me to find other living quarters. I am glad for your sake that you have moved out.

Although there is little I can do to assist except give moral support, I hope your circumstances get better soon. Struggling with financial worries is never pleasant, but I think it will be easier to contend with them now that you are no longer living with your cousin. With respect to her, it is indeed a great shame that she has not received the help she clearly needs, but that is a decision her husband has to make. I can only hope he will find the courage to do so.

Quendi

Finkelstein

I would play it as it comes , telling your daughter about the reason of the following out with Deb,

so that she understands the situation completely. Time heals old wounds as they say so perhaps in the future things will turn around.

Making sure your daughters know the psychological problems of Deb, should be of some importance for their own acceptance and awareness.

If you value maintaining some kind of relationship with Deb and Bobby in the future, I would return a e-mail to Deb in talking about why the personal

problem occurred between you two, perhaps an honest opening up.

Words of compassion and empathy now can help heal relationships latter on.

Jim_TX

Terry, it looks liike you have things going in the right direction. I hope it works out with your daughter and her not having to go over there... I would fear for her safety.

Not much else to say - oh, yeah. You have a PM from me. (heh heh heh, I've always wanted to say that,)

Regards,

Jim TX

tec

That is a tough spot to be in with your daughter. I think if it comes to it (I would be playing it by ear, but be prepared), just be honest that you two had a falling out (details at your discretion)... but that you both truly want her to still enjoy the Sunday cooking night, if that is also what she wants. Just make sure she doesn't feel like she is being disloyal if she chooses to go.

However, if like you say, she won't want to go over without you, then unfortunately, that night will just have to end. There really isn't anything you can do about that. You could try and set something else up that the two of you could do. Maybe even a fun cooking class (though I know for now, money is limited), or just do a cook-night of your own with recipes and experimenting.

Your daughter will be fine, either way. Might not be such a bad thing that the ties are cut altogether, at least for now. Might even be for the best.

Peace,

tammy

Mum

Hi, Terry.

You should qualify for low-cost senior housing. A lot of my friends live in senior apartment communities here in Nevada. The ones I have seen are kept up nicely and have a community room for parties and potlucks as well as a workout room.

As for the hospital bills, even if you don't file bankruptcy, there should be a way to get the amount reduced. I worked for a personal injury attorney, and it was astounding how much medical providers would reduce the bills of patients who did not get large settlement amounts. I also saw how much write-off there is for certain insurance plans. I don't know who you need to negotiate with, but start with the head of the business office at the hospital.

Like you, I had a mom who left me bruised from stem to stern from beatings with a leather belt. She would tell me things like, "I'll knock you winding!" or "I'll cut the blood out of you!" I think the way I carry myself as a result of this injustice makes people see me as an easy target. Like you, I will almost die before asking for help. But I'm loosening up. You should, too. What you're going through happens to 'way too many people.

Keep your chin up, and accept the help that is being offered.

BTW (because you brought up the subject on another thread), one pedals a bicycle. Peddling is selling.

Regards,

SandraC

nugget

Terry you can have my sofa any time. It is hard work dealing with mental illness of any kind and your cousin's husband is coping as best he can but need professional support especially if there is the threat of violence. If her rages are unexpected and explosive then working in a kitchen with her is problematic as who knows when she may go into a rage.

Terry

Well, it has been quite a day!

I mailed cousin Deb the following e-mail reply followed by her two responses!

My letter:

Deb,

My first consideration is for Lily in all matters as I am sure it is with you as well. All I have said to Lily about moving out of Arlington was that it was too much wear and tear on my car and the price of gas is too much and that I always seem to be in Ft.Worth anyway. That was it. She said nothing either way. I know she looks forward to cooking with you more than anything else in her week and really cares about you and appreciates your kind attention in teaching her your cooking skills. So, your e-mail this morning creates a rather problematic obstacle, to say the least. I've never said the slightest disparaging comment about you or Bobby to Lily (or anybody else.) So, there is no reason for her to view you in a negative light. But, she is often uncomfortable even going out to dinner with even her own grandparents. Sometimes even her classmates invite her to "hang out" and she gets anxious and worried. So, it isn't a rational sort of thing; it is emotional. All I can say to you is how I see it. You don't have to agree. For whatever reason you are choosing to judge me as your enemy (which I am not) it is hurting Lily. You have to live with that choice. And now, Lily and I will have to also. Bobby had said he looked forward to our coming over Sundays and thought we could all go bike riding at some future time. Have you discussed any of this with him? I don't want to insult you--but, you need some kind of outside counsel on these matters. I feel you may be destroying the relationships in life which are most beneficial. Can it always be the other guy at fault? I haven't talked to Lily yet today. I will in a few hours. I'll let you know what her thinking is. Cheers, Terry _________________________________________________________________________________ Deb's 1st response:

fuck you asshole

Deb's 2nd response 13 minutes later:

Let me tell you this:

you never could stand to be around Bobby or me

nothing I ever did for you in any way was ever good enough for you.

You told me that you only wanted to be around people that knew more than you did

So cousin I will continue my counseling for my issues - you on the other hand need no help because you are perfect in every way

final fuck you

Deb

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Soooooo....

I decided she was in an unfit state of mind for me NOT to say something to my daughter.

I went over to my 19 year old's daughter's house and sat down with her and went through the scenario between Deb and I using as

neutral language as possible. She listened and nodded. I told her it was her choice when she's goes or doesn't but that I am not allowed to go with her. She listened and nodded and asked no questions at all!

A few hours later I asked her if she had called Deb and talked to her and she said "Yes." And I didn't ask...so...I don't know what was said.

But, Lily did NOT go.

Lily was in very good spirits the rest of the day--so, I guess she understands what she needs to understand and has made her decisions.

I took Lily's sister to a bicycle store so that she could try them out since her grandfather has been urging her to let him buy her one.

She seemed to really enjoy it and she ended up with a bicycle way better than mine!! A Schwinn 21 speed red hybrid. I'm JEALOUS!!

The weather in Ft.Worth was outstanding today and me and my son and two daughters all went to the fairgrounds at the Fat Stock Show and rode the rides for about 3 hours. My father in law gave my son a hundred bucks for everybody to have a fun time. You can't beat a deal like that.

I just don't know whether to feel sorry for Deb or to really be deeply pissed at her for her descpicably rude paranoia turned on me!

Bipolar Landlady kicks me out!

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