Thinking of becoming a JW.

by Kate82 231 Replies latest watchtower medical

  • cognac
    cognac

    Well, I think you have to get a little bit more of a plan in place. It might be a good idea to start a thread on things to do to help loneliness and depression.

    Here are some ideas that I have done in the past to help me battling the same things:

    1. I went to meetup.com and went out with some really nice groups of people with the same interests as me.

    2. Exercise - That really helps with depression

    3. Get something regular with the therapist.

    4. Change your diet. Too much unhealthy food can contribute to depression.

    Ok, that's all I can think of now, but get really active in starting a plan. Even if it's just one regular thing to start with to make yourself happier.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Kate, Jehovah's Witnesses are a dangerous mind-control cult. Avoid them. Look up the term "love bomb" before you walk into any church group.

    If you want to find a group of people to hang with, go to meetup.com and join a group that does something you love. Or go to the events you love and meet people there.

    Good day.

  • tornapart
    tornapart

    Hello Kate, it's good that you are thinking and questioning things and not rushing blindly into something. I'm still a JW. As I was born-in and had no outside influences for most of my life, it's now very hard for me. I love many of the friends I've made over the years, some of them are wonderful people. For me it disturbs me that many of the things I believed to be true because I believed they were from God I realise now are not true and are not from God. It's damaging emotionally to realise you've been lied to (the blind leading the blind), and that you've accepted those lies as truth. You question your own thinking ability, gullibilty, intelligence and many other things. If you do consider looking into it, make sure that you look at every angle, not just the JW side. They will try and say not to look at other sides, that it won't be a good thing. However, if it is the truth then it should stand up to scrutiny. It was a mistake I made.

  • Kate82
    Kate82

    I have been continuing my research and have a few more questions.

    I have heard that a JW can not smoke, drink alcohol, have sex with anyone except the person they are married to and that they cannot say grace or god bless u.

    Can any of u ex JW's tell me if the above are correct anc tell me some more about them please. Are u telling me that there is no prayer said before a meal to thank god for the meal??

    Also can u please tell me any other rules that are a must if i went ahead.

    I dont know if i am 'under or getting under the spell' but i feel loved like i have not experienced before.

  • leavingwt
    leavingwt

    Kate82: Are you having a regular Bible Study with Jehovah's Witnesses?

  • Kate82
    Kate82

    Leavingwt,

    I am not currently having bibal study with JW. They have came to see me and we talked but that is as far as its gone for now. They said they would come back. Im just trying to know as much as i can before i comit - i hope that doesnt sound wrong.

    Are u able to offer any explination to my previous post, the questions and all??

  • rather be in hades
    rather be in hades
    I have been continuing my research and have a few more questions.
    I have heard that a JW can not smoke, drink alcohol, have sex with anyone except the person they are married to and that they cannot say grace or god bless u.

    you cannot smoke at all. period.

    you can definitly drink with other people tho lol and you'll find out with a quickness that there is a LOT of drinking that goes on, at least in some areas.

    you are right about the sex and you are right about the 'god bless you'. same goes for gesundheit(sp?) and any other variation.

    Can any of u ex JW's tell me if the above are correct anc tell me some more about them please. Are u telling me that there is no prayer said before a meal to thank god for the meal??

    there is always a prayer before meals. well supposed to be. in public that's always the case. you'll find that in private, that definitely changes. at least for younger people.

    Also can u please tell me any other rules that are a must if i went ahead.

    well, this won't apply to you per se lol, but men cannot have beards or goatees in the states.

    they frown heavily on low cut tops and short skirts. fancy hairdos and it's a very controlling group in terms of how you look.

    if you are doing a jw thing in casual clothes/work clothes, like cleaning at the district convention or circuit assembly, you cannot wear clothes with logos. patterns are fine i guess, logos are a no-no.

    I dont know if i am 'under or getting under the spell' but i feel loved like i have not experienced before.

    you are under the spell and it feels GREAT at first. sooner or later, you'll see the ugliness underneath. it's a very very very shallow organization.

    you're age, looks, marital status and who you are connected to will determine how much love you continue to feel after becoming one. for people studying, they'll pour the love out.

    single brothers and sisters over 30 have it rough, especially if they aren't very well connected and have a small social group.

    kids from single moms are generally ignored, but kids whose dad is an elder/ministerial servant are known throughout their district.

    the elderly are kinda left be, depending on how much pull and influence they've had throughout the years. i've seen quite a few older brothers and sisters that were essentially abandoned once they couldn't make meetings as often bc a mate had dimentia. very sad.

    if you watch and observe congregations after meetings, you'll see the internal dynamics of that congregation. in my experience, they are all very clique-ish. just like school can be.

    some will leave right after the meetings. those people are usually assumed to be "spiritually weak" and they might be. they might be having doubts, OR they might not be feeling the love from the hall anymore after their baptism.

  • sickandtired
    sickandtired

    Hi, Kate! Welcome to the forum. I am an elder's wife and currently an active Witness. I came to this forum because of a feeling that I had that something wasn't quite right with my religion. There are many good things about this religion and things I feel they have right- friends that are like family, a sense of stability and structure and morality. The bad thing is though, this religion will make a person feel like they are in a mental prison...once you start questioning things, you aren't allowed to express your doubts or questions without looking like you're attacking "the Slave" (essentially the Governing Body - the ones who make the rules for all Witnesses). The pressure is more intense for those who are expected to be the examples (like my elder husband and me). There are those that enjoy that intense form of structure and having all your questions answered for you and wrapped up in a pretty little box with a neat bow on top. I started feeling depression and anxiety because of all the expectations laid upon me. I am an introvert and very much like keeping to myself a lot of the time. I am a 'live and let live' type of person. That doesn't jive well with the Witness personality. Right now, I'm stuck pretending because my family is deep into the Witness mindset and if I stopped being a Witness, I'd lose them for sure. That right there tells you there is something wrong with this religion.

    Think carefully and look at things from all sides. Don't let anyone pressure you. It's your decision and your life.

    To answer your questions:

    Witnesses cannot smoke, but they CAN drink alcohol, but moderation is emphasized. Sex outside of marriage is considered a sin. Smoking, over drinking and sex outside of marriage can lead to disfellowshipping (shunning). Saying "bless you" is frowned upon by Witnesses (like when you sneeze, a Witness won't say it since they consider it superstitious) and Witnesses don't say grace either. The word 'grace' has been replaced with 'undeserved kindness' in our New World Translation. It's just another thing to set us apart from "Christendom" (what Jehovah's Witnesses say to refer to all the other Christian religions). We do pray, however. Before meals, bedtime, at meetings, etc.

  • rather be in hades
    rather be in hades

    as an addition...

    if you start missing meetings or start becoming irregular in field service, you might start losing friends. bad associations after all.

    most importantly, you cannot question doctrine. even ridiculous things. that's the quickest way to fall out of favor within a congregation and have the elders looking at you suspiciously.

    this was from a court transcript and said under oath. or whatever they say in scotland :P

    the head counsel for the jws at the time, and i think it was pointed out that he might even be considered part of the faithful and discreet slave with the new changes, is the one on the stand answering questions.

    Q. That was the publication of false prophesy?
    A. That was the publication of a false prophesy, it was a false statement or an erronious statement in fulfilment of a prophesy that was false or erronious.
    Q. And that had to be believed by the whole of Jehovah's Witnesses?
    A. Yes, because you must understand we must have unity, we cannot have disunity with a lot of people going every way, an army is supposed to march in step.

    --------------

    Q. Back to the point now. A false prophesy was promulgated?
    A. I agree that.

    I do hope that you take some time to really look at this organization critically. the older publications show that this is not the truth at all and their continued insistence on 607 bce and 1914 show that this is not a religion, so much as a fraudulent printing company. coupled with the numerous scandals, the needless deaths from blood issues and not being able to have organ transplants as well as some being so hurt after coming out of this cult that they felt they had no other options than to take their own life.

    it is destructive, but it's impossible to see, feel or understand that until you are sucked too far in to simply leave.

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Welcome back, Kate82.

    I'm going to recommend a book to you that a girlfriend of mine, a psychologist and fellow introvert, recommends:

    Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection

    My girlfriend suggests that the tired advice to the isolated to simply go out and "do more" is hopelessly crass. She suggests that shy and lonely people may be hyperaware in social situations. I feel for you, honey.

    There are lots of religions that offer comforting rituals that don't put on all sorts of rules that the Witnesses do. You should be aware that every active Witness is required to go out in field service, knocking on doors; shy or not.

    I find that Witnesses pray far less than other religious people. They are chiefly concerned with meeting the demands of the religion which are field service (knocking on doors), meeting attendance, and reading of their literature.

    Let's find a more compatible outlet for you, Kate.

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