High Profile Case: Seeking Reinstatement

by headisspinning 113 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

  • Think About It
    Think About It

    Hi Headisspinning........welcome to the forum. I'm not going to question your wanting to get reinstated, but just wish you the best in what you choose to do. Hope you enjoy your reading & posting here.

    Think About It

  • yknot

    pm'd ya back ...

  • clarity


    Glad you came on and ... it's easy to see why you choose the name.

    Kind and good advice has been given to you, from the lovely people on here.

    I may have missed this, and forgive me if I have .... but where is the accountability and remorse for the children of two broken homes. I hear only your eager efforts for reinstatement, and frustration because you want your life back again!

    More importantly, the children's loss needs attention. I think you need to start there.

    Right now you're running around like a fart in a windstorm trying to recoup!

    Fact is, you are remarried to your old friend and have a new child. Clearly that is where your energy and dedication should be. wishing you good luck outcomes.


  • BabaYaga

    Wonderful things that bear repeating:

    Little Bird said:

    the story of the prodigal son. I just have never read, where is father made him turn in a letter in the first place or his father saying he had to wait for years to be allowed back in the family. Just things to think about.

    Wanna Be Free said:

    Can you imagine Jesus saying to someone crushed in spirit ... "when you get help, be careful that nothing you say reflects poorly on God's organization" ?

    and more importantly, also said:

    Please know that the approval of men in the Organization isn't necessary for you to be right with Jehovah and Jesus. Nothing and nobody can take that relationship away from you or prevent you from having it.
  • headisspinning

    In response to Clarity... I didn't specifically write about our children and the effects that our decisions have had on them, but please be assured that the kids are top priorities for both of us. We both bear enormous burdens of guilt over the impact on the their lives. My own marriage was over for two years before I got dfd. The kids had adjusted to the arrangement (my ex and I share custody) and they have always been encouraged to express their feelings and ask questions.

    Once my new husband and I got together, the children have been allowed to ease into the situation, despite my own desire to have them live with us 50% of the time. THEIR feelings were fully taken into account and they are adjusting very well.

    The situation with my husband's children has been more difficult but every effort is made to keep the lines of communication open.

    My husband really beats himself up over what has happened and the remorse he feels is sometimes crushing.

    We both reassure our children constantly of our love for them and provide them with all the support that we can.

    I try to remember that we tried to raise our children, not to live under perfect circumstances because that's not realistic - but instead to have the internal resources to cope when they face challenges and hardships arise.

  • caliber

    wannabefree ..thanks so much for sharing the video about the WCG .. it is so revealing .

    Most time it is so much easier to see plainly the flaws in others , it appears "the plain truth" is not so plain in any of us

    when the very core of our belief system is challenged !

    headisspinning ... Please before seeking reinstatement .. seek the deep meaning of grace ... the most powerful single word

    directed toward mankind ! Find comfort in the following scripture ....no one can separate you from God's love !

    Romans 8:38-39 NWT:
    38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life nor angels nor governments nor things now here nor things to come nor powers 39 nor height nor depth nor any other creation will be able to separate us from God’s love that is in Christ Jesus our Lord

    I wish you peace & comfort !

  • jj123jj123

    "I still believe the Truth and I love Jehovah... I just dont' understand how the people can be so self-righteous, controlling and judgmental.

    I have no interest in 'apostasy'. I am just so upset."

    Hi Headisspinning, its sounds like a wise decision to get the professional help of a therapist. I do have a few question for you:

    1. How did you come across this website?

    2. Have you ever done independent research on the history of the WTBS?

    3. Why did you put the word apostasy in quotes in one of your post?

  • diamondiiz
    I still believe the Truth ......I have no interest in 'apostasy'.

    Hello and welcome. Hope you stay and read a lot. Do A LOT OF RESEARCH!!!! The statements above are your problem because you imagine watchtower is the truth and we are evil apostates and out of weakness and sadness you had nowhere else to turn so you wrote on the forbidden forum. It's good to hear you and you husband are getting help as that is needed.

    Focus on positives in your life right now and work to build on these. We all have some sad moments that we carry as baggage from wts and some of us moved on better than others. Some here were hurt more than others and many stories vary but common theme is that wts hurt us all in some way. Many have lost their families and loved ones to the cult.

    You imagine that the organization is truthful but it's not. You and your husband need to do research from the beginnings of the Watchtower movement and how it evolved to where it is today. You will have an emotional journey but is probably a good journey to make that you are on the outside as you won't be hindered by those on the inside. WTS makes it's victims feel guilt,worthlessness and fear of being destroyed by soon to come Armageddon. You have the right to look at the bible without being forced to follow the party line as if the truth was only given to the governing body while the rest are subjected to few men for answers. It seems that's all both of you knew from the childhood on and that's where you want to be and you imagine that is that safety zone for both of you and your child but in fact that is a false sense of security that creates imaginary safe haven while it abuses it's members by depriving them of the real truth and it forced you to be a slave to the false ideas that you can't escape without fear and guilt of being punished by your peers which at this point you don't have to worry about as you're already being unjustly punished. Do yourselves a favor and do research.

    Ask questions, ask for help and many here will give you good advise. Be patient. Look up jwfacts.com and start your research, use old wts publication to see if what you read is true or taken out of context because that is what wts makes its victims imagine that apostates speak half truths and we take quotes out of context. Hope both of you start to heal.

  • Lozhasleft

    Hello Headisspinning and welcome. Congratulations on your new baby. You've had some really brilliant advice here I do hope you are able to take some of it on board. Your story made me so sad and I shake my head in disgust at the way some elders behave....I was very badly treated as were many others on this forum. As an anointed sister I couldnt believe what happened to me, I thought it would kill me, and it almost did. As a consequence I lost all my five adult children and many close 'friends'. I thought Jah would leave me as they suggested.... he didnt at all. More than that he opened my eyes to the organisation and led me to a new life. A life enriched now by friends from all religions, real insight into the bible, freedom from fear and guilt, and an inner peace I didnt imagine I could ever know.

    Its been a long painful journey but its brought me to where I am today so I thank God for it. PLEASE read Ray Franz's book Crisis of Conscience. A wonderful man, not bitter or resentful or even angry, just humble and honest and kind. He was an anointed brother on the governing body. You owe it to yourself and your family to become informed about this organisation - please do.

    I wish you well for the future and send you love.

    Loz x

    Edited to add that you can be reassured that if indeed its God's organisation it will stand up to any honest scrutiny.

  • shepherd

    "I'm not struggling with our beliefs... I am struggling with the way imperfect people are treating us. So far, I have been able to keep the two separate in my mind."

    I know the feeling...most JW's do this. They read one thing in the Watchtower, see something totally different in the congregations and put it down to the imperfection of men. But think about this - these attitudes pervade the organisation - it is not just local to you - I don't even know what country you are in - but it is throughout the congregations.

    Ask yourself why there is little real genuine supporting love there. And ponder on the scriptures that say it is an identifying mark of Jesus' disciples. Lack of love = not Jesus' real disciples - - -it really is that simple.

    In fact, the Org. claims that the way you are being treated right now IS AN ACT OF LOVE! They say it is to bring you to your senses and to save you spiritually in the long run. But you have asked for reinstatement and I assume you also feel 'repentant' for anything that may be considered wrongdoing in the past. So in what way is continuing shutting you out an act of love? It's not, is it?

    I know no matter how many times people may tell you this, until you see it for yourself it will have no impact. JWs are trained to disregard all advice not coming from the GB. And that training works well. I hope one day you can overcome it and your eyes open. The truth will set you free, but of the 'Truth'.

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