It is nice to talk to a group of people who get "it". No other group of people in the world know when reading your post know how real it is. We also can see into the future for you as well, knowing the years and years of shunning ahead for you, as well as the years of being the ones who are gossiped about in your cong.
I asked my mother the other day, "When you are out in field service and you come across a householder who loves her religion. Infact is overjoyed! She attends regulary, reads daily, has a personal relationship with God. Would you try to get her to become a Jehovahs Witness?" And so I ask you if you would make a new disciple, even though you would have to destroy someones faith to do so?
Yes? Then I implore you to go a little beyond your own comfort zone, expand your thinking, your love for God will only grow. There are alot of truths out there that might rock your world. Thruths are real they do not vanish and float away, however some of my former truths were like a childhood belief in Santa Clause.....and one day someone says, "Santa is not Real he is imaginary".....the gut reaction is to say "No he is real!!!" But it is too late the question is there, the bubble has been popped. We look it up, we look for proofs, and then we move on, we grow. Pryimdology, False Prophecy, 607, Dates (1914 1925,1975), the Cross, the Blood doctrine (this was my start...do some searching on this it will blow your mind) and the list goes on and on.
Make your truth real, read Crisis of Conscenience, read the bests of threads on this board, freeminds.org is a great start, and so is jwfacts. do the work...it will be hard. Pearsonal Stories is how I started to heal. And I didnt want to be an apostate either!
Congrats on the baby, I think you are in the best place for rebuilding, and I am excited for the 3 of you, and your husbands other kids. Healthy emotional balanced parents make so much better lives for their children.
Again Welcome, you have friends here.