HEADISSPINNING- I'm very sorry you & your husband have been going through this awful experience and treatment. Please don't judge many of us - because we TOO have gone through similar mistreatments like YOU have gone through from family & elders. Something you need to ask yourself with blatant honesty : If elders are mistreating you and being unfair using biasse and prejudice views ( like the one elder who experienced his dad leaving him ) in coming to a decision to reinstate you & hubby or not - ask yourself " Are they really influenced by God's holy spirit to make decisions - or - are they influenced by their own attitudes and life experiences ? "
I too was treated unjustly in late 2003 and I can assure you that personal opinions were what the elders used to counsel me. I even looked up information in the publications which DISAGREED with what they were telling me !! So many times they shoot off the hip and a person has to question whether holy spirit has ANYTHING to do with their decisions at all. I'm just trying to get you to think my friend. I hope for the best for you, your husband, and child - but allowing elders, ex-wives or ex-husbands to gossip and treat you disrespectfully in time will teach YOUR children it's alright to be disrespected.
I've been where you are at , been divorced and had custody of my JW children while in a DFed state about 8 years ago when they were teenagers. My JW ex-wife did her best to badmouth me to my children , and even though I got reinstated- even 12 years AFTER the divorce she still manipulates my 23 & 22 yr.old JW daughters against me as an inactive witness ! I'm just telling you honestly, even though you may get reinstated- it's no guarantee people will treat you with respect. It will be conditional respect based on how many times you comment at meetings or how many hours you turn in timewise in service. Please think about it. I wish you and your husband and young baby the best- realize you don't HAVE to live with guilt & fear - it's a device that they WANT you to live with. Hang in there, Peace out, Mr. Flipper