Now the other side of the WTS mouth: (no mention of sneaking around)
***Family book fy chap. 11 pp. 133-134 Maintain Peace in Your Household ***TRAINING THE CHILDREN
12 In a household that is not united in worship, religious instruction of the children sometimes becomes an issue. How should Scriptural principles be applied? The Bible assigns the father primary responsibility for instructing the children, but the mother also has an important role to play. (Proverbs 1:8; compare Genesis 18:19; Deuteronomy 11:18, 19.) Even if he does not accept the headship of Christ, the father is still the family head.
13 Some unbelieving fathers do not object if the mother instructs the children in religious matters. Others do. What if your husband refuses to permit you to take the children to congregation meetings or even forbids you to study the Bible with them at home? Now you have to balance a number of obligations—your obligation to Jehovah God, to your husbandly head, and to your beloved children. How can you reconcile these?
14 Certainly you will pray about the matter. (Philippians 4:6, 7; 1 John 5:14) But in the end, you are the one who must decide what course to take. If you proceed with tact, making it clear to your husband that you are not challenging his headship, his opposition may eventually lessen. Even if your husband forbids you to take your children to meetings or to have a formal Bible study with them, you can still teach them. By your daily conversation and your good example, try to inculcate in them a degree of love for Jehovah, faith in his Word, respect for parents—including their father—loving concern for other people, and appreciation for conscientious work habits. In time, the father may notice the good results and may appreciate the value of your efforts.—Proverbs 23:24.
*** w88 11/1 p. 25 par. 22 When Marital Peace Is Threatened ***If disruption of domestic peace centers on religious instruction of the children, the believing wife can tactfully arrange to have them accompany her to meetings and in the field ministry. But if the unbelieving husband and father prevents this, she can teach the children Bible principles so that when they grow up and leave home, they are likely to pursue true worship