Has anyone ever ask a householder to keep their Bible study secret from their spouse?

by wasblind 114 Replies latest jw experiences

  • wasblind

    I was told of one incident, where a pioneer said that she had trouble with one householders husband, because he was hiding the literature and did not want his wife to study with the JW's so she incouraged the householder to study in secrecy.

  • blondie

    I knew some who did, but my father was not a jw and would have been worse if my mother had hidden her study.

    What disturbed me more were minor children (under 18) who were studying and the jws had them conceal it from their parents. I pointed out that it was illegal and they could be charged.

  • blondie

    Here is the WTS twisted reasoning on studying with minor children whose parents don't want them to. If it is true of children why not adults?

    *** w73 11/1 pp. 671-672 Questions From Readers ***

    ? If a young person is forbidden by his father (or his mother) to study the Bible or to associate with Jehovah’s Christian witnesses, is he obligated to obey in these matters?—U.S.A.

    The Bible commands children: “Be obedient to your parents in union with the Lord, for this is righteous.” (Eph. 6:1) “Be obedient to your parents in everything, for this is well-pleasing in the Lord.” (Col. 3:20) As firm advocators of the Bible, Jehovah’s witnesses constantly urge youths to follow that divine advice. However, the fact that the Lord Jesus Christ is brought into the matter shows that obedience to parents is not absolute. The authority of Jesus Christ is far greater than that of any earthly father. Jesus has been given ‘all authority in heaven and on the earth,’ and is the “head of every man.”—Matt. 28:18; 1 Cor. 11:3.

    Accordingly, whenever a father demands that his children disobey the law of Christ and hence also the law of God, he is going beyond the realm of his authority. At such times, therefore, children have to decide what they will do. For example, what if a father commands his son to steal, lie, cheat or engage in other lawless acts? The son may be aware that God forbids these things. Hence, a son may choose to obey the superior law of God and of Christ and not go along with his father.

    Even the law of the land places a certain responsibility on children in this regard. It may hold a child accountable for committing a crime at the direction of the father. Says AmericanJurisprudence: “A child acting under his parents’ command may, in a proper case, be excused for a crime committed by him, although the father’s command does not always excuse the infant in committing a crime. When a child commits an unlawful act in the presence of his father, at his direction, and because of the criminal intent of the father, it must appear that the child was of immature years or mind and entirely under the domination, direction, and control of the father, before the crime becomes that of the father, and not of the child.”

    Similarly, the law of God does not excuse children for lawless acts merely on the basis of their being minors. For instance, when small boys showed gross disrespect for the prophet Elisha, Jehovah God did not spare them from punishment, even though it may have been the attitude of their parents toward Elisha that moved them to do it. (2 Ki. 2:23, 24) This illustrates that Jehovah God holds children accountable for knowingly violating his commands.

    Of course, very young children neither know nor understand all of God’s requirements. Therefore, even if only one parent is a true servant of God, young children are mercifully viewed as holy or clean from God’s standpoint. (1 Cor. 7:14) Of course, the believing parent has a responsibility of teaching the children the divine will regardless of the attitude of the unbelieving mate. (Prov. 6:20) Then, as children grow older, they come under responsibility before God to act in harmony with what they know to be right. This includes matters relating to true worship. It is God’s will that his approved servants study his Word, assemble with fellow believers and proclaim Bible truth to still others.—Matt. 24:14; John 17:3; Heb. 10:24, 25.

    However, if a father forbade such Christian activity, the children might reasonably and respectfully explain their position to him. Such an explanation will carry weight when backed up by exemplary conduct. Really the father should have no legitimate complaint to make about children who are seeking to do the divine will. If children can help him to appreciate that they have become better sons and daughters since starting to study God’s Word, this can do much to break down any prejudice. It can help him to see that his children are a real credit to him and stand out in stark contrast with the growing number of disrespectful and lawless youths in the world today. After reflecting on such points he may not at all object to his children’s continuing to pursue a course that is making it easier for him as family head.

    There are times when children are the only ones in a family that want to learn about God’s Word. They might come to the home of one of Jehovah’s witnesses and ask Bible questions or even attend meetings at the Kingdom Hall. If parents demand that their children cease all association with Jehovah’s witnesses, the children will have to decide what they are going to do on the basis of what they know to be right. If parents begin directly supervising every aspect of the activity of their children and cut them off from all possible association with Jehovah’s Christian witnesses, this does not prevent youths from demonstrating their desire to do God’s will by maintaining fine conduct, studying the Bible on their own and praying that the time may come when they will be freer to pursue true worship and can continue to seek the permission of their parents to share more fully in Christian activity.

    On the other hand, though denying a child’s request to attend Christian meetings or to let a minister come and study the Bible with him, perhaps the parents do not exercise any strict supervision. What is the responsibility of Jehovah’s Christian witnesses toward such a child?Jehovah’s witnesses rightly respect the wishes of parents as to what will be done in their own home. But this does not mean that Jehovah’s witnesses cannot answer Bible questions raised by youths who visit them or who meet them on the street or elsewhere.Jehovah’s witnesses have no responsibility to turn children away from their Kingdom Halls because parents may not want them to attend meetings there. The Bible says: “Let anyone that wishes take life’s water free.” (Rev. 22:17) If youths are among those desiring life’s water, who is there that should turn them away? Jesus Christ told his disciples: “Let the young children alone, and stop hindering them from coming to me, for the kingdom of the heavens belongs to suchlike ones.”—Matt. 19:14.

  • Scully

    Encouraging children to disregard their parents' wishes and teaching them to distance themselves from their parents and other family members if they "oppose" Bible Study™ with the JWs is far more contemptible, imo.

  • ssn587

    I have never done that, but i have left notes (typed) in Watchtowers left at not at homes, telling them that after reading it to please go on line and check out "ALL" the informatin on Jdubs there before considering having any Bible discussions or studies with them. I only did this when working alone, which when was going out in service and not having a partner. Now i get the national average of most apostates, zero, zip, nada, the big nothing.

  • Heartbreaker

    My mother in law has a study right now, and she lies to her husband regarding the nature of the JWs, the study they have, and all at the urging of my mother in law. It's sick. They have twin daughters, and my MIL is slowly but surely pulling the three ladies away from their husband/daddy. All the while he thinks they are going to an open forum bible discussion from people in all walks of life and faiths.

    To justify this, my MIL said not ALL ones at the meetings are all JWs, there are some unbelieving mates, other studies, and people that grew up a different religion, so technically it's not a lie. I think it's disgusting.

    I have contemplated back and forth trying to contact her husband and let them know what a F'n snake in the grass my MIL is, and alert him of how he's going to lose his family. At the same time, if your spouse and children are attending 2 meetings a week and a few conventions a year, and you don't check into yourself, you are just a fool.


  • JeffT

    Not what your thinking of, but when we were in the process of leaving a couple of women from the congregation came by the house when they knew I was at work and told my wife they would study with her and help her keep up with what was being studied at the Hall. They very helpfully added that "Jeff will never need to know."

    Royally pissed off Mrs T, she was already beyond doubts, but that convinced her something was seriously wrong with the religion.

  • Finally-Free

    My ex studied with 3 minor kids. Their non JW mom was favourable to the study™, but their father was opposed. The study took place at my mom's house, or sometimes in the car behind a shopping mall when they were strapped for time.

    They eventually moved to a different territory but continued their study™. The 3 kids joined the cult and the family went to shit. Their opposed father eventually left, feeling that he had become persona non grata in his own home. Last I heard the wife & kids wanted nothing to do with him and there was no communication.


  • JerkhovahsWitless

    Well, this isn't a story about a spouse, but about a kid.

    I studied with my neighbor's kid. We were both minors, me being over 2 years older.His parents were against him studying, so him and I did it at my house without them knowing. I checked with the elders first to see if that was OK since the parents didn't want him to study. I got the answer blondie posted. My parents, however, wouldn't to sneak him to meetings or even the memorial like he was willing to do. My parents were afraid of legal issues, getting sued or pissing the neighbor's off (both of them are in Law Enforcement).

    Eventually the study stopped and about two years later resumed again. He was still a minor, but months away from being 18. I was an adult. We studied again in secret for a while, but shortly he came out of the JW closet and we studied at his house and he went to meetings. His family was OK with it then for the most part. Well, they allowed it, but didn't refrain from making fun of him for it... which just proved the persecution / Satan is after me complex I instilled in him.

    Fortunately, about a year passed and he ended up dumping the cult (leaving me devastated because he was also my best friend). The constant struggle to put on the cult personality clashed with his authentic self too much. He was mentally and emotionally tormented with fear of demons, armageddon, his family dying and the guilt of feeling that he wasn't living up to the cult's standards, that he just couldn't take it anymore. 6-7 years have gone by since then. A few months ago I got to apologize to him for trying to recruit him into a cult. We've keep in contact on the internet for a while and should be meeting up in person sometime soon.

  • tec

    Some of it just seemed to be finding 'loopholes.'

    One of the women that my study/teacher brought along with her told me the story of how one woman had joined JW's. One night her husband forbade her to walk through the front door and go to another meeting. If she did, then he would leave. So she went out the back door instead. (He did leave, and then returned a week or so later)

    They both laughed, and so did I because its cute... but... it is a loophole. She knew very well what her husband meant. I don't think your 'heart' can get off on a technicality. I don't think it would hold up with God.

    This was kind of off-topic, but I thought I'd share.

    The witnesses know that my husband don't want them to come around, but that I'll talk to them even if his is. I think they only come now when no truck is parked out front.


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