Did You Personally Know Any JWs That Were Sexually Molested By Other JWs?

by minimus 147 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee


    As a Nurse, I can tell you that their lives wont go well. Usually abused females end up neurotics and suffer from Personality disorders, and more often than not, Anorexic. They binge and then puke up all theyve eaten, its all about feeling guilty about being female and developing into womanhood, so they do all they can to destroy their body shape, because of that guilt feeling, and it all stems from childhood.

    Well it seems to me that you have seen a very limited population. I have worked as a counselor with over 600 survivors of childhood sexual abuse. I never worked with a person who was anorexic. Actually the opposite was more likely to walk into my office. I've only worked with a handful of women who binged and purged but many more were binge eaters.

    Most were not neurotic in fact few were. Almost all suffered from depression, low self-esteem, difficulties with trust in their personal and professional lives, issues around sexuality.

    I worked with women with a wide range of dissociative disorders. Many had been wrongly diagnosed with a wide range of personality disorders all of which were wrong (in one case a woman was hospitalized for 1 week and received 5 different diagnoses that could not co-exist from 5 different psychiatrists). Another woman had been treated for 16 years before her psychiatrist sent her to me. In one year she had conquered most of her demons and was functioning quite well in her life.

    I would say that up to 75% of the people I worked with were high functioners. They had good careers, they were excelling in college or university, they were raising families and doing a good job of it and had made sure not to pass abuse down to their children.

    I saw women who had gotten into substance abuse, cutting, prostitution but had found ways out of it and wanted something better for their lives and were willing to work hard to get it.

    To be honest there were the women who were too lost or too afraid to look at the past. My sister who committed suicide was one of them. Sad that I could help others but not her. We don't see the ones who ended it all so there is no way to count them.

    I wasn't a miracle worker. Just a counselor who knew what the demons were and could help others move into a better life.

    All that being said I too was working with a limited population. If you went to a female prison who could say most of the prisoners had been sexually abused and that was why they were in jail. But you can't take any limited population and say that is how all or even most sexual abuse victims turn out. We each see a small part of the long term effects.

    And then there are those who learn how to deal with the past and actually have good lives without abuse repeating itself. We don't see them in hospitals or counseling offices. They seem to be able to manage quite well without therapy.

  • truthseekeriam

    Thank you for clearing that up Lady Lee.

    It scares the heck out of me to read that stuff.. being a mother of a young victim of molestation. I'm so scared she wont be okay even though we did have her her in counseling when it first happened.

    Right now she seems fine and we openly talk about it, but she still hasn't become a teen. I'm so afraid of not doing the right thing I want her to grow up and live a normal life.

    My husband and I were thrown into shock a few weeks ago when my teen son admitted to being depressed and even cut himself once, when all of this was going one a couple of years ago because he felt guilty for not protecting his little sister and also because of how we were treated by the congregation.

    I just can't believe people just expect you to move on after this happens to you family! It's like a never ending nightmare. You just don't know what hiding behind the next corner.

    Being a JW and the molester being a JW makes it so much worse.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    There is nothing that makes me see red faster than someone trying to tell me how incredible and impossibly damaged I am because I was sexually abused as a child.

    Sure it affected me. But being in a bad car accident affects a person. Believe me, when I am in a car with a bad driver my knuckles still go white gripping whatever I can. And I only had a near miss. We didn't hit anything.

    There are always times that you will need to talk about it with both your children. They need facts. They need to know it wasn't their fault for letting it happen of for not protecting his sister. They need to know that an adult who knew a whole lot more than any kid took advantage of an opportunity to hurt a child. This is simply proof that not all adults can or should be trusted automatically. People must earn trust and that is okay.

    Helping both children to learn to trust their gut feelings, that instinct that tells them something is wrong and they need to listen to that is one of the most important lessons they can learn in their whole lives. Respect for ourselves and those gut feelings are too important to forget.

    Expect there will be a time when your daughter does not want to talk about sex. Most teens go through a period where they just want to put it behind them and forget it ever happened. Let her know it is okay to not talk but she needs to remember it is there. It did happen and it will color how she deals with relationships with boys as a teen and later as an adult.

    There will be times when she may find herself in a situation with a boy where she feels pressured into doing things she doesn't want to do. Forget if he will respect her. That is stupid. Will she respect herself. Will pleasing a boy or a man (or girl or woman) help her feel good about herself. And anyone who expects her satisfy the needs over hers isn't worth being with. And being alone is far far better than being used. These are lessons to give her before she starts dating (that is getting younger all the time and the boys are expecting oral sex as a given).

    The important thing is that they keep talking and you keep listening. If there comes a time when she can't talk to you about some things make sure she has someone else she can trust (not another kid) to talk to.

    There are two kinds of damage done to children who are sexually abused. The first is the actual abuse and all that goes with that. But once the abuse is disclosed the second abuse is when people stop talking about it; start acting like it never happened; as though by not talking about it will make it go away.

    You don't want this to be a constant part of the conversation but it must not be hidden either. You protected your daughter. You are out and free and will do your damndest to make sure it never happens again.

    We are not impossibly broken. We can heal. We do heal.

  • truthseekeriam

    Thank you Lady Lee I will save your post. We can use use all the advice we can get

  • BabaYaga

    Lady Lee said:

    We are not impossibly broken. We can heal. We do heal.

  • brainwashed-from-birth

    Only heard one case. The mother of the molested child is no longer attending meetings. The molestor still attended till they died. No legal actions were taken. The elders decided the proof was not there, and the mother still believes that JW have the true religion ,and that the elders decisions should be respected. I couldn't accept that. Sad.

  • Goshawk


    Very pretty young girl about 15 years old I was friends with. Drunk step-father came into her room and tried to make things happen. (Her words)

    Private reproof of step-dad, mother counselled to try and make herself look prettier, girl had little use for the elders after that. She was never the same afterwards. The only reason I know this is she confided in me right after it happened.

    I want to go hurl.


  • crazyblondeb

    yep! In the congregation I grew up in, in moberly mo, I personally know of 2 elder's. One was df'd for a short

    time, but is an elder now. The other elder has been deceased for a while. My stepdad, was a MS....and that whole fiasco

    was swept under the rug, until last year.

  • No Longer Held Captive
    No Longer Held Captive

    I think its all very sad, and especially so when its done using religion, and the child called a liar. I have no idea any more. I worked in Forensic Psychiatry for 15 years, in the end I couldnt do it anymore, as when you see the criminals coming in, and read their crimes, you become blunted to it, and thats the point I decided to leave the job and went into emergency room, and that was just as bad. So, I am no longer working in this field, my passion for caring was killed off

    Sad wanker Robert King has removed the post about child abus e being ok made by arimatthewsdavies, but cybercrime.gov in America are taking action.

    Like him, he has many headcases on his board, and when you read posts like those ones he and his friends make, then its no wonder it will get peoples backs up. And I think many here will agree.

    Go back to America you sad opinionated bastard. Go back to Michigan where you belong, you are not welcome here in the UK. Or go to prison here in the UK and see what they do to child abusers and people like you that support it.

    How dare you insult Bill Bowen and Barbara Anderson after all the work they have done in exposing these matters.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee


    You accuse someone else of insulting others yet on this very thread you insulted people who were sexually abused as children and when called on it you chose to ignore it.

    After a quick look at some of your posts you are either making comments about King or making off topic jokes. sigh

Share this