I'll try the short version. Grew up a dub since I was in 3rd grade. Fast forward to my teens. On the outside looking in, we were an almost perfect JW family, which was short lived. My mom had clinical depression very bad. My stepdad, who raised and adopted me, was a MS. He also molested me until I ran away from home and went to Texas, to my real dad's. For several years, I made the elder's work for their titles. Anytime I got in trouble at home, had to have an elder's meeting. When I refused to come home from texas, I was DF'd. I did come back to Missouri for a short time. I ended up having a baby. I missed my sisters and brother so much I got reinstated. But, one night at the KH, it hit me like a ton of bricks I wouldn't raise my daughter like that. So, I was df'd again. Thru the years I've attempted suicide several times, battled with addictions, been unable to trust anyone, and battled the same demons everyone else has. Even my marriage couldn't survive me!! Yea, I've been out many, many years. It's only since I've found this place and this family, has the healing process begun.