Help! WHAT DO WOMEN AND WIVES WANT? What planet are they from!

Witness 007

Why do women whine and winge and complain and then you give in...and they find something new to whine winge and complain about? Are they ever Satisfied? Whats with mood swings every damn month from happy....to horney.....to angry mental case.....back to happy? {mainly angry mental case} They always want your opinon as a guy.....ONLY SO THEY CAN DISMISS IT!

Examples with my wife: I say: "You look nice today!" Wife: "Don't I ALWAYS look nice for you!" {PMS no correct answers}

To avoid an arguement: Wife- "What color curtains do you want red or blue?" ME- "I don't mind what ever you want is fine." WIFE- "NO, I want your opinion!" ME- "OKAY, I like the blue ones better." WIFE- "........Ohhh common the red ones are nicer." Blah blah blah until she picks what she wants.....

My wife asks me WHY I don't talk on the phone with my friends....like I'm gonna ring up James and say "high...what are you wearing today...nice, well I just had my hair done OHHH it's lovely with blonde tints....boy that Peter is such a bitch he said...and then I said....I know...I know {3 hours later} ....I know....and he said....I know.....what a bitch I'm soooo not talking to him!...so, what are you wearing tommorow?"

watson

Got the kettlecorn popping right now.

Lo-ru-hamah

Oh my God!!! Are we really that bad? It is kind of sad when you read it out like that.

Sheri

FlyingHighNow

Women and wives are from planet Amazon. They want to make you crazy, commit you to a "nervous hospital" (Sling Blade) and collect your life insurance when you die from being beaten by the cruel orderly. They make fun of you behind your back. They spit in your coffee. Women and wives are evil and don't you ever forget it. Oh yeah and they think of Antonio Banderas when you are making love to them. They fake every orgasm. They are saving them all up for Antonio.

Edited to correct Banderas. God's last name.

watson

FHN has sewn this up rather well. Learn from it!

FlyingHighNow

Witness, what makes you so sure your wife has not had you replaced with a Stepford robot husband with artificial intelligence?

watson

Witness, what makes you so sure your wife has not had you replaced with a Stepford robot husband with artificial intelligence?

She says as she fires up her battery operated "pleasure probe."

Gregor

I agree, and they cause tasteless jokes to be made up like:

PMS is the leading cause of black eyes in women.

What's so bad about battered women? I think they are fine with a good dipping sauce.

I do not approve of these so called jokes. My apologies to any who are offended. I have never raised a hand to a woman except to wave at a pretty one.

But never forget they have what you want.

FlyingHighNow

I don't have a battery operated probe. I do have a Stepford model Antonio though. He plugs into the AC outlet and charges up in 30 minutes.

Witness 007

"Loru" = said "Are we really that bad..." When I tell my wife she's being bitchy...or un-reasonable, or rude....she looks at me blankly....and says: "WHAT? I AM TALKING NORMALY!" Your female brain can't notice the way you are acting...it's really amazing and worth studying....and "Fly high" I would fake my orgasm if a COULD! If us men had a spare 10 hours for foreplay, we would give you an orgasm each time...but as we know, if she is emotional or peeved off or had a bad day or her hair isn't "just right" or she just spoke to her mum, say you forgot to put the rubbish out....forget it. YOUR TOO EMOTIONALY COMPLEX FOR ORGASM...it's easy for men, give us a beer and a pash and it's on! This is Jehovahs cruel joke on MANKIND make them totally opposites and watch the show, he he. Why is our pleasure point so large and yours so small...sorrry but Jehovah ripped you off not me.

Help! WHAT DO WOMEN AND WIVES WANT? What planet are they from!

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