by shell69 87 Replies latest jw friends
(((((shell)))))
maybe if you could break the black hole depression cycle it might help to give you a bit of headspace and chance to rebuild a bit of energy,
do you have a doctor you can talk to about the depression? if youre using the drink to mask the pain then maybe getting help for the pain first will take away a bit of the need to mask it.
SHELL - Mr. Flipper here. Just want you to know my wife and I care sis ! I was raised in the witnesses as well and they do try to make us feel unneeded guilt over things which we were never responsible for in the first place ! My wife has dealt with depression - and what you are going through are classic signs of chemical imbalance depression . Such as having feelings of impending feelings of doom , feeling people would be better off without you, and feelings of guilt. Please see a therapist soon as a psychiatrist will be able to help you understand what is making you have these feelings , and help you to cope with the feelings . And if you need medication , they will know how to assist you as well.
As for the drinking , it is just self medication to deal with the stress and it is not uncommon for people to turn to it in dealing with the stress . We have several posters on board here who would be glad to help you with advice on the alcohol situation , those who have dealt with it more than me. But I am familiar with chemical depression as I've had people in my family with it. We love you sis ! Hang in there , get some help, and I'll put the word out to my friends to assist you as well ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
Shell....... (((Hugs)))
I have only read your post No one elses. Will read it later but your post disturbed me. Listen Darling!!! The JW are VERY WRONG they told me Melanie would never go to First grade ( or kindergarten) i cant remember which .... she died at 42 years old, They told me I would be young & back to my young svelte body after 1975..In a paradise earth... ..I am a Fat ugly OLD woman of 80+...living in a really mixed up world . They told me I should NOT listen to my unbeliving husband... I didnt, but he told me before he died " they will probably kick you out after I am gone because of your inability to go on service "( I have Rhematoid Arthrities) My husband died in 1985 they kicked me out in 1987? Because I admitted i didnt believe Jesus came invisably in 1914. Wish I had listened to my husband because when they did oust me It I wanted to die.....
Shell!!!!!!! I could go on & on. Please stop those thoughts ..... If you STILL believe in a Creator why not ask HIM in prayer to reveal himself, & since Col 1: 16 Says this is JESUS( dont read it in the JW Bible they twisted it with brackets ( other) ) Ask Jesus Christ to come into your heart & mind. If you dont believe anymore STOP THE GUILT it will destroy you
Sorry to be so blunt. But that is why I call myself MOUTHY!
Shell, now listen to Granny. She knows!
((((Shelly))))
I typed a whole long post but I deleted it because it read incoherent. Mouthy said it best. Please be good to yourself.
BFD
Mouthy said it best Mouthy is hanging her head out the window ( swelled )BFD ((((HUG)))
Shell:
I think alcholism is a disease you HAVE not something that you ARE.
There's not much I can tell you that you don't already know, or that people close to you already told you.
I understand...this thing we are in can be hard to be present to, and alcohol can keep it at arm's length.
But you know there are ways to work with this as an illness, and hope this is the path you take.
Love -Void
None of us would have gone through what we have if we didn't know to our deepest core that it's not the truth.
Perhaps you need to read more, to deprogram yourself.
I wish you all the best in your struggle with alcohol, Shell.
I'm sure your kids love you very much.
They're lucky to have you.
Hang in there.
I didn't read all the replies, but glossed over them. I promise to read them all eventually.
I could start by saying "Read COMBATTING CULT MIND CONTROL, RELEASING THE BONDS,
CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE, IN SEARCH OF CHRISTIAN FREEDOM, CAPTIVES OF A CONCEPT.
Do all that reading to discover that you are not wrong to get out and get your kids out of WTS."
I could start by saying that WTS implants fears in children, fears greater than your "What if we're
wrong?" fear for their sakes.
Let's just (for the sake of this argument) say "What if we actually were wrong and WTS was right?"
WTS keeps changing their own doctrines to show that they don't know what God's will is. IF God
is love, He's not planning on killing 99.9% of humanity because they didn't recognize that JW's had
the "right" religion. God would have to truly give each individual the ability to recognize true worship,
and He would have to forgive throngs of people who were never raised or converted to JW-ism because
of their location or circumstances, but were basically zealous good people. WTS would eventually
have to acknowledge that throngs of non-JW's must survive along with JW's. If I am wrong about that,
then I would rather not serve that God. Death would just be nonexistence, so I would be better off
not existing rather than serve a God who killed innocent children.
Depression is a serious thing. If you don't have a doctor, get one. You can start out at a general
practition doctor until you find a good counselor. If money is tight, check with government and
college programs or ask at a Narcotics Anonymous (or A.A. center) how to find low cost or free
counseling. Consider going to an emergency room before doing anything drastic.
Don't let any JW family convince you to go back to WTS without seeing a doctor or counselor first.
Don't let a JW make you fret over your children. They are in more danger from
well-intentioned JW's influence than from a loving, caring parent who teaches them to think for
themselves and pursue an education. Flipper is one good guy to call if you need someone to talk to.
I was suicidal many many years ago. I was seeking help in a bottle of booze. I wound up in a hospital
instead. After observation, I was enrolled in an Alcoholic program that helped me face my past and how
I got where I got. I won't say I have never been depressed since then, but I have never been so hopeless.
Even learning that WTS is a mind-control cult didn't make me consider suicide, but I did slip a bit and
returned to the bottle. I went back to A.A.. There's also Narcotics Anonymous. My ex-brother-in-law
went to that for 10 years or more until he died (heart thing, unrelated). He loved it. He went to their
parties and made good friends.
The truth is that every religion that thinks they are right is wrong.
Shell, I can really feel your struggle right now,because I do too. While my main depression issues swelled after I woke up two years ago, I took the easy way out........not meds.........booze...although I took tons of meds too. I was already a heavy drinker, and have set a bad example for my kids....never mean, but overdoing it a parties, and even drinking too much on my own at night, and I still feel guilt from this.
Why have I plowed through so much booze, when it is a depressant, and I am already depressed!?!? I am trying to pull it all together, and already know I am sleeping better, and feeling better without self-medicating with booze. You don't have to stop forever, just for a day or two, and then another day or two. The first few are a nervous time, but you may do WAY better than you think.
I AM TAKING MY LIFE BACK!!!!! AND HOPE YOU WILL TOO!!!!!................good luck girl........OOMPA
(back from the bottle, and back from the JW's who still impact my life greatly even though I am out)
ps...I have been in very deep dark places I never want to see again.......one time while there I tried to harm myself in the extreme, and it caused my family even more pains and problems. If ever you reach that black hole, put yourself in someones hands somehow....they will think much more clearly than you. Sometimes it may seem like others would be better off without us, but that is only because of where our head is at that very moment........weeks and months can sure change things.
