RealOne.... There's something about you..... It reminds me of a JW at a funeral.
WHAT if we're wrong?
stay on topic
Ok... you are right. This is not the place for that kind of comment.
This is what I figured out--and it doesn't matter whether they are right or not. There are only four possibilities.
First, the Watchtower Society is wrong, and you stay in. If that is the case, you will be wasting your whole life. You will miss out on many experiences that you could have had, like college, a decent paying job, and simply having the freedom to stay home on Sunday morning instead of going to that boasting session. Stagnation and poverty will be yours. And you will die at age 70 or so, having helped spread a lie and destroying value by wasting their time for nothing.
Second, the Watchtower Society is wrong and you leave. You will have cut your losses. Although you will not be able to gain back your life up to that point, you will still be able to make up some of the losses. Whether you choose college now is up to you. But you will no longer be spreading the cancer, and you will not have to waste any further time in field circus.
Here is what many people are worried so much about. Suppose the Watchtower Society is right and you leave. In that case, you will have the use of your life until Armageddon (which "could be at any time"), and then you die. At least you will have had the use of the last few years of your life (and, at the rate they have been going, probably more than a few).
This is the kicker. Suppose the Watchtower Society is right, and you stay in. Presumably, you are being led to believe that paradise is ahead. However, you will be in a society where everything you do is what someone else tells you to. You will be limited in gaining knowledge--if the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger says 2+2=5, then 2+2=5 that day. If they change it to 2+2=3 the next day, then 2+2=3 that day. You will live forever as a slave, not having any right to think for yourself. Stagnation will be dominant, not just until you die but forever. Celibacy is a good bet, forever. You will not have time to enjoy the paradise or put your talents to good use.
If you are seriously thinking of going back in case they are right, I strongly urge you to honestly think about the Dark Ages that they are bringing about. Isn't the "new order" they are promising eerily similar to the First Dark Ages? Would you like to live forever never learning anything useful or doing anything useful? Just look at where the organization is headed--the fun is being phased out, and they are making excessive demands on people. Even when I was in (and that in the late 1980s) I could see myself being scheduled to work 18 hours a day, 7 days a week, doing something I did not want to do and not seeing any of the benefits of it. Is that how you want to live, forever?
HI Shell - I hope you are reading the mostly encouraging posts here and realise that there are people that understand. You're only have that feeling about your kids because you are down at the moment. It's okay to feel down and depressed, just don't linger there too long.
We can never know for sure if we are right, perhaps one day we'll be enlightend, but good measuring tools are your heart and mind. Could you ever truly be happy under the witness way again?
As long as you love your children and let them know, that's a good start!
May your outlook get brighter and may you have strength and courage.
Ive been out of the Borg a year now & I still have some doubts. Its normal.
Two books I have read recently have helped me get rid of those dark thoughts that plague me just before I sleep. You know the ones---"What if their right? What if Jah is angry with me? He will take it out on my children....He has done that in the past with great servants such as King David ....Oh no!!!! ECT.
Gods problem (How the bible fails to answer our most important question- Why we suffer) By Bart D. Ehrman.
This book I feel, is great for any exJW. He proves straight away at the begining of the book that he has a great understanding of the scriptures which for me helped me to feel confident that it wasn't a load of old rubbish. Not even my exBorg training could argue with his reasonings. I really recommend this book Shell please think about purchasing this book.
Feel the fear & do it anyway! By Susan jeffers.
Fantastic book explaining what fear is & why we hold on to it. It helps us be logical about our darkest fears & how to get rid of them & live with those we can't.
I do hope that these would help you in some way!! XX
I hear what you are saying and know what you mean.
This too will pass!
My feeling is that most of us are wrong most of the time if:
We permit ourselves the luxury of drawing conclusions about the motives and heart of anyone
- without truly getting to know them - and even then it may be due to our being mismatched with their persona!
So the WTBTS attempt to give themselves the luxury of collective conclusions about the whole of humanity!
I have no reservations thay they are flawed in such pressumptuousness that even I struggle to achieve to do respecting any single individual I have ever known!
So I say unreservedly:
'The WTBTS are wrong!'
I feel a dreadful black darkness. I feel my husband and children would be better off without me, my mood swings, and depressions.
got a really bad feeling about the future. very near future
Shell, I haven't been keeping up and maybe I need to read some of your other posts, but I really don't like how this sounds. So I'm going to ask you a few of things. (Feel free to tell me to butt out.) Do they love you? (I'm hoping you know they do.) How would your kids feel if someone took their mother away from them? Aside from merely breaking their hearts, they'd have to go through a long grieving process so they can get on with their lives. And that's even if you think you're not a great mom.
Is abandoning them in some way a loving thing to do? You know it's not. You have a duty to take care of them -- no matter what. If that means you feel really horrible, you still have to do it. You don't stop being Mom when you've got the flu or if you have cancer -- you take care of yourself and do the best you can. And your kids still love you.
You're not going to ditch one of them if he/she starts having mood swings, are you? Besides being an awful thing to do, it wouldn't send a very good message. Do you want to teach them that someone who's in pain isn't worth bothering with? I'm sure somebody else has mentioned what help you can get, so I won't belabor that.
I'm not trying to be mean. I know you're in a lot of pain right now, but please don't do anything your kids will regret.