WHAT if we're wrong?

by shell69 87 Replies latest jw friends

  • BreakingAway

    I mean, i know I'm bitter.

    Normally these days quite strong, not feeling so much so much the last few days though.

    What I'd give to do the things I was used to. Going doing the weekly shop with my mum, her popping round for a brew in the morning.

    A hug from her, just to to know from the way she communicated with me, that she loved me. I miss her so much.

    And what if I'm wrong?

    that I may feel I've set my children free from the religion, but I've condemmmed them to death. god I feel so low, lower than for along time.


    This is what the Organization counts on ! People sticking around "just in case".This is a fear based religion, a cult that seeks to control the mind and life of all who become a part of it.One collective thought, one collective purpose, all others must be shunned.Families turning their backs on each other because they don't go to the meetings ? Because they point out serious errors ? Disfellowshipping over differing views ? Over celebrating their dear childs birthday ? This is NOT love ! It is not truth ! It IS all about Control and Money.Where's the 'natural affection' ? It is a business designed to take advantage of those who are willing to sacrifice everything they have for a chance to get everything they want.I was a Witness for nearly twenty years, six of those as an elder.On many occassions I asked myself, "What am I doing here ? ", "Something is seriously wrong here !! " , but I stuck around for various reasons, family and friends mostly.It turned out that the relationships were superficial, dependent on how much one obeyed the Org.It's sickening to think about so much I, and others, gave up.....years.The youngest years of my life ! This beast preys upon the trusting , those with a good and kind heart, those looking for fulfillment.Then they use them up and spit them out.As one C.O. candidly said: "We get people in the front door and push them out the back ! " So many have been robbed of their identity and self worth.This is NOT the truth.The Org is proud of the way it breaks up families.That one would be willing to give them more loyalty, devotion and love than they would give their own family.Though I no longer believe in the devil, if he did exist...this organization would be just what he's looking for...

  • mamochan13

    Being able to even ask that question is a good sign that you are growing away from the borg.

    I haven't asked it in a very long time, but when I did, I tried to reverse it. Even if we are wrong, there is no way JWs can be right. Far too many things wrong with their approach and belief system.

    Even if they were right, I ask myself: do I want to spend the rest of my life living the way I used to? or do I want to savour my freedom and continue to think for myself? The thought of going back to that makes me nauseous, quite frankly, as does the thought of living forever under the JW rules and WT leadership.

  • sacolton

    Worse yet ... what if the Mormons were right? Man, that would really suck.

  • Sad emo
    Sad emo

    (((Shell))) it'll pass.

    These doubts are part of life, as are the choices we make. I've never been a JW but I had the exact same worries when I left the RC church - and I still do get them from time to time.

    I don't know why I'm writing what I'm about to as its only remotely related! I had a job interview yesterday and found out very quickly that I hadn't got the job - an email was waiting by the time I got home. i couldn't think of anything I did wrong so I assumed they just had better qualified applicants... then in the early hours of this morning I realised that I had actually made a dreadful mistake in the role play part of the interview!! My heart went through the floor as I knew it was a job I'd have enjoyed and been good at - but now I'm barred from applying for any jobs with them for 6 months - by which time I'll hopefully have another job anyway.

    Like I said, I don't know why I wrote that - maybe its to show that we are allowed to make mistakes and feel bad about it - but we do survive them - all is not lost in spite of what anyone else might tell you. Life is full of opportunities - be true to your own heart and the rest will follow (eventually!), keep looking forward.

    As for your children - well the WT should heed its own teachings - the soul that sins is the soul that dies - so they shouldn't be condemned for anything that you've done!

  • BreakingAway

    Shell 69,

    I hope you don't mind but I just wanted to share another thought with you...

    If you weren't suffering so severely from the loss of the relationship with your mother would you have any doubts about the Org ?

    That's what I meant by the 'organization counting on these things'.They know that if enough pressure is applied ,or a sense of loss is experienced, that many will cave in because they can't take it on their own and just go back to the meetings and the JW way of life.They want to make you think it's all YOUR fault ! Even though it is they who made these policies and it takes individuals to follow and enforce them.Imagine what would happen if every Witness said: "I'm not doing it any more ! ".I'll talk to whomever I want to, I'll love any person I want to, I will no longer support..."

    If that happened the Org would change overnight, it would no longer resemble what it once was.The power really does belong to the people and many are leaving the organization everyday.WE have a choice about how to live our life, a choice to be a slave of the WT or live a life of Freedom which seems to scare many.

    I don't know if you've told, or have been able to tell your Mom how much you miss her, doing things with her ? But maybe it's time to do it again. To let her know that your decision not to be part of a damaging organization has NOTHING to do with how you feel about her and that NO ONE can stand between your love if you don't let them.We all have a choice.

  • IP_SEC

    Hi Shelly! Of course there is the remotest chance we could be wrong... there is also a chance that an acorn in your back yard might spontaneously transform into a black hole...

    I felt the same when I first talked to my family and friends about my doubts. I didnt worry about myself, I knew I was dead meat anyway. Now I think its better for us all to be destroyed by a megalomaniac, cowardly, little god than to life forever under his thumb.

  • momzcrazy

    You really can't live that way. There are too many "what-if's". Enjoy your life and your children. Look for good, don't focus on the bad.

    Hang in there it will get better. I promise!


  • Sirona


    You have a wonderful heart. God wouldn't reject it just because you don't attend a kingdom hall.


  • R.Crusoe

    Would you punish a child for scribbling on the wallpaper a picture with

    'MUM' written underneath?

    If your heart is trying to find itself then any loving god/ess will see it!

    The problem is a sad one when your child sits afraid to do anything!!

    Don't you think??

  • flipper

    SHELL- Hang in there kiddo ! Believe me, we are not wrong. Peace Out, Mr. Flipper

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