I mean, i know I'm bitter.
Normally these days quite strong, not feeling so much so much the last few days though.
What I'd give to do the things I was used to. Going doing the weekly shop with my mum, her popping round for a brew in the morning.
A hug from her, just to to know from the way she communicated with me, that she loved me. I miss her so much.
And what if I'm wrong?
that I may feel I've set my children free from the religion, but I've condemmmed them to death. god I feel so low, lower than for along time.
This is what the Organization counts on ! People sticking around "just in case".This is a fear based religion, a cult that seeks to control the mind and life of all who become a part of it.One collective thought, one collective purpose, all others must be shunned.Families turning their backs on each other because they don't go to the meetings ? Because they point out serious errors ? Disfellowshipping over differing views ? Over celebrating their dear childs birthday ? This is NOT love ! It is not truth ! It IS all about Control and Money.Where's the 'natural affection' ? It is a business designed to take advantage of those who are willing to sacrifice everything they have for a chance to get everything they want.I was a Witness for nearly twenty years, six of those as an elder.On many occassions I asked myself, "What am I doing here ? ", "Something is seriously wrong here !! " , but I stuck around for various reasons, family and friends mostly.It turned out that the relationships were superficial, dependent on how much one obeyed the Org.It's sickening to think about so much I, and others, gave up.....years.The youngest years of my life ! This beast preys upon the trusting , those with a good and kind heart, those looking for fulfillment.Then they use them up and spit them out.As one C.O. candidly said: "We get people in the front door and push them out the back ! " So many have been robbed of their identity and self worth.This is NOT the truth.The Org is proud of the way it breaks up families.That one would be willing to give them more loyalty, devotion and love than they would give their own family.Though I no longer believe in the devil, if he did exist...this organization would be just what he's looking for...