I'm a Pioneer Married To a Wonderful Brother Reaching Out to be an MS...

by cognac 216 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  OnTheWayOut

  I was thinking about fading but there is no way I could in the hall that I'm at. They ask me to do things all the time,

  Cognac, my dear. Fading isn't about up and quitting for some people. Some manage that.
  Fading is a process for others where they slowly get out of it. It may not be for you. You may
  need to just leave, but slow down before you do anything. You have a goal to stop pioneering.
  That's part of fading. Fading can take a long time or not. I was an elder that started a fade, and
  a short 8 months later, I was inactive and attending no meetings at the Kingdom Hall. I am not
  suggesting my path for you, but find one that works- eventually.

  You want to have a baby, lead a normal life. The pregnancy and the baby will cause you to
  miss out on meetings- that's part of fading. As far as those last minute talks go, start saying NO.
  You can say YES if you really are up to it sometimes, but make sure to say NO when you are
  ready to do so. You can wait until mourning sickness or just a bad headache gets you, but sooner
  or later, stay on the course of mostly NO.

  I would stop right now but I just started and got kind of in an argument with the elders to let me (they made me wait because they didn't think I'd be able to do it) and it would be like me telling them they were right but they weren't.

  The most successful way to quit pioneering in August is to fail to meet the time requirements.
  Allow yourself to catch up on your business and household. Take sick days. The next thing you
  know, you are a month behind. Don't knock yourself out to make it up- use the actual real excuse
  that you are too tired, too busy, can't do it, won't do it anymore. Heck, they will even try to forgive
  the time and keep you on as a pioneer if they like you. Tell them you would just fall behind again.
  Don't worry that they appear right and you wrong. That's okay.

  You have to leave options open until you decide what to do. If you want to just walk away, there
  are family and friend consequences. If you fade, there is hounding by the elders. Stick around and
  learn the truth about "the truth" before any decisions are made. Start your research. Even if you
  are not going to fade, start fading anyway just because it's easier to say NO and enjoy your day off
  or the weekend or going home from the meeting before 11 PM.

  OH- don't wait until you find "the actual truth" somewhere else. Start your education on Jehovah's
  Witnesses and you will be surprised. Finding the actual truth could take the rest of your life.
• 

  cognac

  dawg ~ It's interesting that you bring up that you are apostate. Because that was another question that I have. In order to be apostate, wouldn't it be necessary for Jehovah's Witnesses to be here since the 1st century in order for one to be an apostate from it in light of how the scriptures define apostate? In view of what the Bible says regarding the definition of apostate, I wouldn't really be able to view you as such.

  sweet pea ~ Thanks, I may take you up on that.
• 

  momzcrazy

  Welcome to JWD. I didn't read all the pages in this. I just had to say that I am a person who nearly died from refusing blood. I would have left my own wonderful husband and 2 great kids.I was also a pioneer married to a MS. I did research this year and was dumbfounded. It may have been mentioned already but did you know Witnesses in Bulgaria can have blood with no fear of disfellowshipping? Why them and not everyone else? Is it wrong to get blood or not? And you can basically have all the ingredients of the cake, ie. blood fractions, but not the cake, ie whole blood. I have prayerfully decided that saving a life is a pretty damn sacred use of blood.

  I hope you find that the answers you seek draw you and your husband AWAY from the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society.

  momzcrazy
• 

  dawg

  Thanks Cognac, you already see the facts that I can't get my family to see... I'm no apostate, that's just a word the JWs throw around so they can control your mind, so they won't have dissent. Its not apostacy to question men plain and simple... here's one thing that got me out, among many things that were questionable, do research on your own and tell me sometime what you come up with.

  But according to my research, the 607BC date for the fall of Jerusalem, it's not accurate... the city fell in 585BC... that means the year 1914 has no significance. None whatsoever.. and to question this lie is "apostacy" according the the GB. Would God want us to teach a known falsehood?... and excuse me for calling it a lie, but when the GB knows something doesn't hold up, yet tell you you must teach it anyways, or you must wait on Jehovah, that's apostacy in the real scense of the word. Telling you to wait on Jehovah, when in fact you're waiting on men, means they put themselves on par with God... that's apostacy... isn't it?
• 

  cognac

  OnTheWayOut ~ I will think about what you said. I was going to quited anyways in August because I want to have a baby (I would never use the baby as an excuse because I wanted to fade, I decided before that I would quit then to have a baby) but I would have to give a lot of thinking about quiting before that.

  Sweet Pea ~ Yes, it would be nice to raise my children as normal. I was going to have celebrations with them anyways on or the day before or after the holidays and just not call it the actual holiday so they didn't feel like they were totally missing out on everything.

  The idea of actually celebrating the holidays... WOW... That never occurred to me, I don't know if I can... Wow, what a shocking thought...
• 

  brinjen

  {{{{{{{cognac}}}}}}}

  A wise man once said, "The biggest barrier to finding the truth, is believing you already have it".

  Welcome to the board, I wish you and your husband all the best in your journey.
• 

  Maddie

  Welcome to JWD Cognac

  You will find support here and I wish you well.

  Maddie
• 

  moshe

  Welcome Cognac-

  In 1980 the Watchtower changed it rules on organ transplants and decided it was a conscience matter and not cannibalism. I asked several elders why wouldn't the WT Society have bloodguilt over the wrongful death of JW's who followed current teachings from the Governing Body and died? They had no answer other than "they will get their life back in the new order" and were obviously upset that I would bring it up. That was the beginning of the end for me. I finally sent a letter to the WT in 1988 and told them I was annulling my baptism due to fraud on the part of the Watchtower Society.

  Finding a true religion is not easy and many consider it a fool's errand. Since you are most familiar with Christianity, I suggest you reasearch Judaism first. A good website is, www.whatjewsbelieve.org/

  peace,

  Moshe
• 

  cognac

  Dawg ~ That's funny that you brought up the 607 thing because I had a question about the date also. My boss is jewish and I thought he brought up a different date but I didn't remember what it was. I asked a pioneer sister about it and she referred to some specific information on it. I wanted to look it up but got sidetracked by 1000 other questions. I will make it appoint to look it up and let you know what I find. However, I would like you to know where I stand on the matter... If the bible supports the date but everyone else doesn't, I'm going with the bible... If it doesn't, hmmm, wouldn't that just mean that the date is now 1935 or somewhere around there? Is that a huge deal?

  Momscrazy ~ Bulgaria???????? What????? How do you know that???? If you have anything on that I would like to show my husband...
• 

  thepackage

  Hi Cognac, be strong and hang in there!!!!!!!!!!! You have a tough road ahead of you but you are on the right path. It's hard to find out the Truth of JW's it really cuts in the heart. Most Witnesses are very sincere and loving but they do not know any better. When i found out the lies i felt like the victium of fraud and i still do. You'll find out that people who found out the Truth where sincere people who wanted to do good and please Jehovah but along the way we realized the lies about the WTS. Enjoy your husdanb and be strong. Those that say they are your friends now will turn on you.