I'm a Pioneer Married To a Wonderful Brother Reaching Out to be an MS...

by cognac 216 Replies latest jw experiences

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  cognac

  and petrified... I just recently became a pioneer and always had nagging questions in the back of my mind. So, I decided that when I have get a study I would research all the questions as I go along so as to prove everything in the truth... I got 4 studies in about 2 months. All was fine, until I reached I think chapter 6 in the Bible Teach book about the resurrection. It just tells you there that people are going to be resurrected to the earth. Right there, in the middle of my study I sat there and looked up every scripture trying to prove that there would be a resurrection to earth. Had to stop the entire study to go home and research this. I looked up everything, couldn't find the answer. Then, all of a sudden, I had about a hundred million questions that I cant get answered and I feel like my whole world is crashing down on me. The worst part is, probably the blood issue. We are told not to murder. If someone was about to fall off a cliff and we could save them but chose not to would we not be bloodguilty? So, then, if it comes down to the blood issue being a life and death matter wouldn't it have to be at the very least a conscience matter? For me, I would rather disobey a law and obey a much higher principle of the life in which Jehovah has given us! I told this to my husband and he said that he has had a problem with the blood issue ever since the let you take components. I agreed and asked him "how many people do you think died because they weren't aloud to make up there on minds on the matter?" Then, I went on to say that I was always told that if I didn't understand something that I should be obedient and wait for things to be straightened out or to get the correct viewpoint on the matter. So, if a doctor came up to me 10 years ago and at that point it didn't bother my conscience to take a component then I wouldn't have been able to because:

  A. I would have assumed I wasn't correct and I had to wait on Jehovah to correct it; and

  B. I would be disfellowshipped and considered and apostate for this thinking which is a clear indication that my thinking was wrong.

  So, I said all of this to my husband and then said, since the society changed its policy on this, that means that a lot of people must have been writing in regarding this matter. How many people do think died in the meantime even in cases where this didn't even bother there conscience to begin with...

  He agreed with me and was very supportive about it. He said that if I find another religion that teaches the truth that we should go to that one. I told him the problem with that is that I have a HUGE family that is in the truth and do not want to lose them. He said that I shouldn't have to because if I found the real truth that they should be following it. He doesn't think I will find something else that teaches some of the correct main doctrines like Jehovah's name, etc...

  Its the things that can change that really get to me. Why are they so adament about making you believe the things that are clearly people can't be 100% sure of.

  And why do so many disfellowshippings take place on things that the bible does not say you should be disfellowshipped for. Why can't they just deal with it through Jehovah and say a prayer?

  Now, I don't know what to do. It's just everything I ever believed has crumbled right before me and I have not the slightest clue of what to do. I just became a pioneer too.

  I used to cry about people who didn't know Jehovah because it was so sad that they didn't know the truth. I genuinely wanted people to be happy in knowing about Jehovah.

  When I brought these questions up to my family and some other witnesses they either got angry with me or tried to answer my questions but couldn't. I even went to an older annointed brother (He didn't get mad at me. He did make me feel better but couldn't really answer my questions. He is a wonderful brother and said that there would be things that I may question my entire life and not get the answer to.) I thought deeply about what he said and although its true, there are some questions that are not just questions but life and death matters and major life alterering issues I just can't justify in going along with and not have a major problem with it.

  Now I have not the slightest clue of what to do...

  Sorry, this was so long...
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  mouthy

  Welcome Cognac
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  cr1234

  I was a witness for over 30 years and when you start having questions you had better keep them between you and your husband. You will lose your family if you start talking about having questions. You know that the JW's don't like questions. You are on the right track now because you are starting to think for yourself. I suggest you take the time to think it all through before you start mentioning anything to any other witnesses. Just talk to your husband and use this board to help get the right answers on bible questions. There are so many smart people on here that will help you work on the process.
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  Odrade

  No apology necessary. It was a realization like yours that finally forced me to look at the whole collection of objections I had been stuffing down for years. I'd like to make a suggestion: Don't waste energy or emotion trying to find another religion that is "more true." Just examine your own, and make a decision based on what you learn. There will be plenty of time later to find another way to worship, if you should decide that the WT organization does not measure up.
  
  Welcome.
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  journey-on

  Cognac, welcome to JWD. You have millions of questions? Ask them and you'll get millions of interesting answers.

  I think a lot of really right-hearted JWs are being "called" out of that organization right now. The WTS talks about

  apostate thinking, but they are so far removed from what they used to teach, the whole organization should be disfellowshipped.

  Organized Religion is destroying true spirituality and the real search for truth, imo. JWs are no different and many of the rank and

  file are sincerely concerned about all the changes and flip-flops and high-control methods of coercing adherence to their doctrines

  that they are awakening to the call to get out. They "hear" with "hearing ears" and "see" with "seeing eyes". Those that choose

  to follow men (GB + WTBTS) can't hear it.
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  Vivamus

  Now, I don't know what to do. It's just everything I ever believed has crumbled right before me and I have not the slightest clue of what to do.

  You will find that most of us have had the same feeling. Welcome to the board, you will find lots of support and answers here.

  For now... breathe, just breathe. I know this can feel as if the building blocks of your life are falling - but it will be okay, you will be okay. You can ask any question here, and many will be able to answer with scriptures etc (or you can search for topics regarding your questions). Also, a lot of people are in similar situations as you (married to a brother or sister, pioneer or MS), so know that you are not alone.

  You will survive this, take the word of one who has been there for it. For later, if you are up to it, you might try the book "Crisis of Conscience" ... it answers a lot of questions. http://www.amazon.com/Crisis-Conscience-Raymond-Franz/dp/0914675044
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  Gopher

  Welcome to the forum, Cognac. You are among people here who understand.

  Others will have better advice than I do about 'what to do next', because I was a JW for a long time before being incorrectly DF'd, then learned that the JW's weren't true, then decided not to go back. (Hopefully my being DF'd won't scare you off, I'm not against individual JW's, but rather want people to find what makes sense to them and follow it.)

  You are so right about the blood issue -- that the higher principle should be sanctity of life, and not about the mystical symbolism of blood.

  There are so many teachings that the JW's have that are more about control (such as DF'ing people for non-vital matters, or just for having a different viewpoint than what the organization currently teaches).

  About your anointed friend: He is a wonderful brother and said that there would be things that I may question my entire life and not get the answer to.

  If those "things" he's talking about relate to organizational teachings that JW's have, then it seems like blind loyalty is what's expected of JW's. And blind loyalty is what leads to superstition and unreasonableness.

  Keep reading -- the more good information you get the better. And please do continue to come here for support, because as you know, it'd be dangerous to bring these questions back into your congregation.
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  mouthy

  Welcome Cognac

  You said >why do so many disfellowshippings take place on things that the bible does not say you should be disfellowshipped for. Why can't they just deal with it through Jehovah and say a prayer?

  Now, I don't know

  I was D/F after telling the Brothers I did not believe Jesus came in 1914 ? where in the Bible does it say I MUST believe that. ? They have told my children NOT to speak to me because I am evil ,because I dont believe it
  I made 10 people JW's .... I am now 80 Icould use the love & support of all those I made belive the "lie"
  Do read "Crises Of Conscience" By Ray Franz ,you will then see it is NOT the truth...
  Keep reading many posts on here about what the WT is guilty of & you will find it is definatly a Wolf in sheeps clothing

  Mouthy/Granny/Grace
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  babygirl75

  Welcome Cognac.....

  The emotions that you are going through are normal. A lot of us here have felt this way, that our world was coming down when we find out for ourselves that things just don't mesh right and that it can't be the "truth". Then to add having your family & friends, that you've know your whole life, to all at once shun you. After leaving though, it does give you a sense of freedom. I hope you and your husband can make the decisions that are best for you...

  Welcome to the board!

  babygirl....
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  llbh

  Welcome Cognac

  If you read around this board fir more than two minutes you will find many like you. The answers to many of your questions can be found here.

  I left 11 y ago never looked back wife still in.

  The blood issue sucks whichever way you look at it.

  I have not found another religion and am agnostic. Just because you can not find a suitable religion to replace the wts is not a good enough reason to stay.that merely compounds the problem

  regards llbh