Were you or someone you know sexually molested by a Jehovah's Witness ?

by flipper 381 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

• 

  Finally-Free

  My ex was molested as a child. Elders covered it up and intimidated her into remaining silent. In 2003 I learned how widespread this problem was when I saw the Fifth Estate documentary. I left the JWs as a result because I couldn't tolerate having the vile stench of their name associated with mine. After all, it was the JWs who taught me about "community responsibility" using Achan's acts at Jericho and it's eventual outcome as an example. They certainly change their tune when the concept of "community responsibility" is applied to them though. They find it inconvenient.

  W
• 

  Big Tex

  I took Lee's advice, went off into the Real World and calmed down. The amazing healing powers of pizza.

  I regret allowing this person to make me lose my temper, as it only feeds the persecution game she likes to play. Everything she posts, the topics she posts on and how she posts is all a game. Nothing about her is real. I knew that and still lost my temper. I'm more irritated with myself frankly. This was the first time I've dropped the F bomb on someone in 7 years. I don't like it, and I don't like how it feels.

  I apologize to the board, as that post was not exactly showing my best side.

  I do think posters like her serve an important function. It helps lurkers see how easily Witness teachings are to disprove. It helped my wife to see all those Witness sayings shown up for just how stupid they really are. Over the years I've gotten PMs from lurkers who read but never, or rarely, post and how much it means to read a thread where JW "philosophy" is torn apart.

  I would be delighted to debate renaii, MARISAKristofuk , or any other Witness on any and/or all aspects of how Jehovah's Witnesses deal with child abuse. I have asked her several times to explain their rules and teachings, each time I have been ignored. I believe she has ignored me because she knows the Witnesses are wrong and cannot defend the indefensible.

  Be well,

  Chris
• 

  startingovernow

  I wish I knew for sure. There was a wife of a prominent elder who was abused by a family member. I don't know if that family member was a JW or not. At the time I didn't think to ask, since I wasn't raised in the religion and thought it was a safe place to be. This woman, understandably, was pretty screwed up. She had an eating disorder as a result of her abuse and she did not speak to those that were not members of her family or specially select few people of choice. Any rudeness or inappropriate behavior as an elder's wife to people like me was excused by her past. I went through a lot of inappropriate unscriptural handling of things by this family and it always came back to excusing them because of her abuse, which I tried to do. I only wish I had considered the bigger picture of things. If I had considered that the relative had been a JW, I would have hopefully started to question the organization, instead of being bogged down with just a few people. My excusing a few people for their "imperfection" is what kept me in physically and emotionally for way to long. If I had known what goes on behind closed doors of the organizational directives, I would have hoped I'd had the sense to leave long ago.

  Years later I did hear gossip of someone who had been abused by a M.S. The sister telling me related the account in such a way that I did not know what to think or believe. She told me about a girl she knew who said she was abused by another JW, and then smiled and said in a sing-song tone, "he's still a brother today." I remember being confused and disturbed, but by that time I had heard so many stories by JWs I didn't know what was true or not, and the fact that "he was still a brother" indicated to me that the sister was implying that it was the girl who was making things up. Boy, oh boy. This was after the Dateline show, which I missed. I'm so sad that I was part of an organization that let's abuse go on while claiming that no matter what may happen, "Jehovah will take care of it in the end." This discussion is making me think back to the sister that related the story. She knew the girl personally. I don't know how someone who was directly told they had been abused could be OK with it, go on being a JW, and then gossiping about it like it was just like any other story...
• 

  Lady Lee

  (((Chris)))

  First - glad to hear you went to do something else besides stew in anger and outrage.

  Sometimes the f word and a few others are the only ones we can use to demonstrate that outrage.

  You are no longer silent. Not by your family. Not by the WTS. And most certainly not by those who defend them.

  We all have found our voices. For some of us it took decades. You have found your voice and made it openly heard here and on lambsroar.

  Sometimes stepping away before we make a post like that is reverting to our silent pasts Sometimes the "how" may be regretted (although I suspect the same word was echoing in the heads of a few other posters here) but don't ever regret using your voice to show you refuse to be silenced ever again
• 

  AllTimeJeff

  Chris/Big Tex, you are strong. You expressed legit anger, and I think it good sense for the mods to have left your post for others to see. That will help victims to see that they can express that anger that has been so long repressed.

  My little brother was raped as a teen, and the elders, instead of recognizing it as a rape, judged that he sought out what happened to him. I listened (eaves dropped) to the entire hearing. I wondered why 3 elders came to our house. He was put on private reproof. He was 16. (in this case, it wasn't a JW who did this to him, but the same damn principle's applied..... ) The victims, instead of getting help, are told to "forgive", when they don't have to. It just boggles the mknd.

  I didn't get it then, (I was 17) just how much of his soul they ripped out that day, I just didn't get it. I do now, I understand why it is so important to vigorously protect and support the victims, and then go after the predators.

  My brother, like countless others, were never allowed to express their anger or heal. It ultimately drove him to suicide.

  I try not to live in the past too much, what's done is unfortunately done, but others can learn and benefit. Elders who resign as a matter of principle over this are to be commended. The GB absolutely deserves every bit of grief they get over this, and then some.
• 

  verystupid77

  I have not had the time to read through all of the new posts Flipper. But the answer to your question on this thread is yes I was molested and it totally screws up your whole life. I totally feel Big Tex's pain. It hurts more than you can know. The pain never goes away. None of the elders ever did a dam thing to help me as a child or now.

  Reniaa I just cannot even comment on her right now I was so mad at what she said.

  I am so thankful for ones like Big Tex, he speaks for me and how I feel. I wish I had the courage he has. The pain of being abused NEVER NEVER NEVER leaves you. For Reniaa to make light of the WT's policy it so hurtful. The WT did nothing to help me and I am watching things happen right now in the hall with not one elder doing dam thing yet again to to stop it. Not only that but I have been the one to get in trouble for even talking about it!!!!!!!!!

  I have to stop. I do not have time to keep writing and I am just to mad right now from what I read from Reniaa.

  Thanks Big Tex,((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))) I am so thankful for what you said. The pain of us victims should never be put down like Reniaa just did.
• 

  Freedom Fighter

  Chris - you have nothing to apologise for. Anyone who has read your story would support you 100%.

  Mickey Mouse made an excellent point. I don't mind active JWs engaging in reasonable debate, as has been said many times before both sides can learn from the comments made. Renaii's dismissive attitude towards the hurt and pain suffered by many on here was a real irritant. She may as well said that people on here have been imagining the experiences they have gone through.

  Indulge me with some Miss Marpleesque deliberations:

  Renaii (if she exists) is quite clearly a JW outcast who will probably never set foot in a KH again but will envisage herself begging Jehovah to spare her at Armaggeddon. She knows that the JWs may not accept her wholeheatedly so she can play at being a pretend JW through this board. This protects the fantasy that JWs are the true religion.

  If Renaii is a fictional creation - I think the use of a photo as an avatar is a red herring. I don't believe that anyone in Renaii's situation would reveal what they looked like. As has been said before postings throughout the day and often the early hours - who's looking after the kids?

  Another point - if you look at the first thread (I think) started by Chikkie (who says she is Renaii's sister), there are posts by someone called LooLoo who has the same ip as Chikkie - the design of the id box is the same. If someone else has a look and I'm wrong - apologies.

  Good riddance as far as I'm concerned - it was only a matter of time before the line was crossed.
• 

  Yizuman

  After reading the entire thread, I am shocked that Reniaa would go as far as she did. She is a disgusting POS. She's not a human being as far as I am concerned.

  I worked with perverted-justice and you should see the chat logs from these pedophiles. It's beyond disgusting. We helped law enforcement catch two of the worse kind who was at progress molesting a 3 month old child.

  http://www.wikisposure.com/Aztram

  http://www.wikisposure.com/The_Night_Raven

  I hate pedophiles with a passion and I will do anything to get these sick farks off the streets and bury them under the prison.

  Yiz
• 

  flipper

  Thanks for all the fine comments. I want to thank the mods, LADY LEE & AK JEFF for getting this thread back on track. It is an extremely important issue for ALL to read about to see the abuses going on and how to combat this evil crime being perpetrated.

  FINALLY FREE- I know saying " feeling your pain " is cliche my friend - but I too was married 19 years to a victim of JW child abuse. To say it affects a person and damages relationships- is a big understatement. So I feel you. My ex-wifes abuse was covered up and she had flashbacks in her late 30's but stubbornly refused any professional counseling or therapy. I tried to get her to go but she had too much anger resolvement issues. If ANY class action lawsuit should ever be filed against the WT society it should be for their shoddy child abuse policies, I swear.

  BIG TEX- Hugs to you my brother ! You have nothing to apologize for. Anybody who has been what you went through would have responded the same way. I'm gladyou were able to go have a nice meal and try to relax. What kind of pizza did you have ? Just curious. At times I might agree that certain posters like Renaii serve a function- but in this case it was totally unethical, mean spirited dissing of what child abuse victims go through - so her function in my opinion had been misused in itself and skewed her ethical treatmentof others going through child abuse. She was being an apologist for an illegal crime. To me- THAT was a big issue.

  STARTING OVER NOW- Good points you make. What a sad situation you described. When some of these witnesses describe these awful occurences - then stating that brothers are still allowed to be in the organization and they get off scot free - I don't know how elders sleep at night allowing those things to occur. They can't possibly have a conscience at all. How many thousands of stories are just like the one you described in this organization ? And THAT is the problem- it's happened way too much and has to stop.

  LADY LEE- Exactly. None of us should ever cower under to the WT society and not use our voices for good and standing up to this evil the WT society is allowing. Agreed.

  ALL TIME JEFF- I am so sorry about what happened to your brother. You have my sincere condolences. It is truly criminal what this organization has allowed to happen. The fact there are no CHECK SYSTEMS really in place to make sure elders are giving the right advice, or even handling child abuse cases properly is also criminal. I can't wait for this to be exposed in a larger way some day so victims of abuse will be able to regain some kind of support. If not by the WT society- then at least by the laws of the land.

  VERY SMART 77- I am so sorry for the pain you went through and the pain you are going through. You are a good friend to my wife and me. All I can say is I hope for the day that innocent children will stop being victimized by the lenient or non-existent policies of a corrupt organization which won't prevent child abuse. Hugs for my sister . JUst remember you are in our hearts friend.

  FREEDOM FIGHTER- I agree. RENAII's abuse went over the top and was extremely ignorant and dismissing towards our friends here who have suffered the crimes of child abuse. JW apologist is one thing- but felony criminal apologist is quite another
• 

  flipper

  YIZUMAN- Very true what you say. So you have seen this horrible behavior in these pedophile a$$wipes and know what you are talking about having dealt with it in your work with it as well. I'm glad you caught the sick twisted personabusing the 3 month old. It sends shivers up my spine . Thanks for the links , appreciate it.