by Cordelia 73 Replies latest members private
Cordelia -
Seems like you have been going up and down this yo-yo for a while now.
Just ask yourself one question; Do you want to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses and live that lifestyle?
You know the answer. Be true to yourself. Don't live anymore lies, whichever path you choose here. Have a heart to heart with your family, tell them your decision, whatever it is, then go do that with heart and soul. Life is too short to make believe.
"To thine own self be true".
Jeff
Cordelia
It seems to me like you are a "walk away believer." Deep down you know you can't live as a witness but somehow you still believe that the WTS is right and therefore you need a reason to justify not being one anymore.
Why in the world do you want to get reinstated?
You need to either piss or get off the pot for sure.
You seem to have developed a pattern of allowing or even encouraging people to make your decisions for you. You should really delve into WHY that is. Is there a reason why you don't value your own personal thoughts and opinions? If you project to others that you have no worth-- they will continue to treat you like you have no worth. Until you make steps to take back your power, you won't be happy anywhere.
Curlygirl
http://www.coda-uk.org/ Try it. That is all I have to say.
I agree with what Jgnat said, I know its hard im fading cos I have family in, but really if at 30 and all this time and advice later you still consider going back then maybe you should, cos then the borg can make all of your decisions for you. Maybe thats what you need and want, sorry.
I think rebel got it - codependence. Seriously, cordelia, check it out.
S
Why ask for more advice? You've ignored everything suggested to you so far. By broadcasting your indecision, all you will do is receive dozens of more suggestions, all different.
Harsh, jgnat....but true.
I've followed your posts for a while now, and jgnat's right - every time you ask for advice it's given but not followed. That's your choice, but you are 30 years old - time to grow up and make your own decisions. That means NOT going to make other people happy. You won't be happy and you'll confuse your child. You've already done the hardest part - the breakaway. Now just stay gone. If your family is 'sick' over it, then that's their problem. You aren't living their life, you're living your own. So live it - and being a JW, even for other's sake, is NOT living.
((CORDY!!)) Confused princess.... I was thinking about you the other day and had a feeling that something bad was going on because you'd been so quiet. :(
Well that didn't really work then, did it? Okay, so your bf was a tool. Plenty of them out there. I'm sorry he's hurt you and that you've had a world of pain for a year.
I can't suggest what you do... I know what I think you should do, but I'm not you. I want you to do that 'five-year-plan' somebody suggested. What do you want out of life? Make specific requests, everything you can think of, every dream that you can live if you put the effort in. Decide whether being a JW will help fulfill them. If you can honestly see that it will, then go for reinstatement. If not, then accept your decision, and get on with living your life, and fulfilling your dreams. Most importantly, live for Cordy and Baby Cordy. You are a grown woman, and this is the life we get. We only get what we plan out of it. You must plan for your own happiness, and work for it yourself.
Your family are adults and are responsible for their own happiness. They have made their choices and are responsible for the consequences; they are unhappy because shunning your children is wrong, and they know it, and they don't have the guts to do anything about it. Still... that's not your problem. Your choice includes deciding whether they are good or bad to have in your life. Work that out, and you'll be closer to your answer.
Another big ole hug from Sass :)
Girl you need help!
Patterns and Characteristics of Co-Dependence
We suggest that it might be helpful to think of the notations: always, usually, sometimes or never, as one evaluates each item on the checklist.
Denial Patterns:
Low Self-Esteem Patterns:
Compliance Patterns:
Control Patterns:
Copyright © 1998 Co-Dependents Anonymous, Incorporated and its licensors – All Rights Reserved
i do understand what you are all saying, i guess i must be one of them people who trys to make everyone else happy,
And what good has that done you? You have to realise that you can only look after someone else when you are happy and content yourself otherwise the short term happiness you create for that someone else will be shortlived. Another point of note is that you can try and try but you will only be able to make some of the people happy some of the time and you will never ever ever be able to make all of the people happy all of the time. So why bother trying, you are setting yourself upto fail.
maybe thats the answer for now do abit of both till i finally grow a backbone and decide what i truely want,
I disagree, you put yourself down too easy, you already have a backbone you just need the motivation to apply it; the boyfriend was your motivation and whilst that might have been missplaced there are plenty other areas you can channel your energies into without subjecting yourself once again to your parents and the WTBTS.
think im gonna have to get reinstated and let them win!
You have given up already and feel you have nothing else to fight for, what about your sanity? what about your life? what about your self respect? are any of those things of value to you? If not...simply go back to the witnesses...if however (as I suspect) they are then get off your arse and stand on your own two feet; dont fight and dig in your heels for a bloke....do it for you! You have proved already you are capable of it so why not now....why give in?
Harsh words have been said by some who have posted Cord but its for your benefit, nobody elses!
DB74
