Huge shock!

by Crumpet 158 Replies latest jw friends

  • Pubsinger

    While I'm here Crumpet,

    you said you couldn't walk. You had an accident or something in the summer didn't you (sorry I mainly surf) Whats happening with all that?

  • cyberdyne systems 101
    cyberdyne systems 101

    hi again!

    My own mother caused lots of grief to me because she couldnt except that I was rejecting what she thought was truth. I eventually had to stop talking to her to allow myself some peace! I mean I always make sure I greet her and what not cause after all its them that shun us not the other way, but I wont go into any detail of mine or their lives. Also you say you were dfed 3 times? Maybe as you have come back before they feel stronger to shun you in the hope you will come back one more time? Just a thought. I suspect that while they are influenced by this they truly believe they are doing the right thing by you. Lots of us have taken the same stance when we were witness's We look back with regret at how we treated people then but thats what we knew and what we did - only by removing ourselves from it can we finaly see what we did too. I dont know if its harder for female's with regards to parent? Most I know seem closer to their family's than the male's, though I'm sure its not the case with all - and I get just as stressed about being shunned too. I think you have done the best thing to 1) have the facts confirmed and 2) give yourself time before making any rash replies. Well take care and chin up from your fellow Surrey ex jw!

  • Crumpet

    pubsinger - how the devil do you surf in west yorkshire - i know its rainy there but still! LOL!

    Megadude - i dee your point and my bf would certainly agree with you but i haven't reached the oint of hating them enough. I'm not sure I will. How can I blame them for not being led where I was by accident? I was brainwashed - so are they. I had been out of it for 7 years before I realised my beliefs were wrong. I am ashamed of them for the first time today but i can understand - i was horrible when i lived with them as a teenager. i'm not that person now. hey havent had any outside experience in their insular lifestyle. how can they know? how can I hate and shun them?

  • BrendaCloutier
    I am so sick of not being normal and having a normal family.

    Awww (((( Crumpet ))))

    YOU are normal.... as normal as possible after being raised JW. It's you're family thats NOT normal. And their behaviour is not abnormal for a devout JW family. My parents did the same: I was raised with my older neices and nephews and do you think I was ever invited let alone told when any of them got married? Even my neice who married worldly? Nope. My parents gave my piano away to one of their grandchildren. Other things of mine stored at their home were given away! Afterall, I'm "dead", right?

    Hugs and love, dear one


  • Crumpet

    Brenda with compassionate posts like yours there will be tears before bedtime. Its so hard to regard myself as dead while I breathe and feel. I've tried to put myself in their shoes having read the kingdom ministry instructions I've read on here. I simply can't think of my mum and dad and sisters as dead however heard i try. I just can't. Thank you for your empathy - you are very dear too. In fact I am astounded by just how many nice kind people I meet here - even the angry ones like tetrapodsapien who makes me smile - we are alike in many ways.

  • LittleToe

    But, but, but you're dead!!!

    With your flair for words, maybe allowing the local rag to be the "speaker for the dead" might not be such a bad idea. You can haunt them from a distance

  • Jez

    I just got to work and read this thread. I am so sorry Crumpet for you having to experience such cruelty. I wish there was a way the public could know about this. Your sister doesn't 'hate' you, she thinks she is being loyal to Jehovah and being a martyr, is a way of proving to themselves that this is the truth. They are able to shun someone they love, because if they are capable of it, it validates to them that they have the truth. They punish themselves to feel worthy and to gain everlasting life.

    Please try to remember that although you are the brunt of their cruelty, they do it for selfish reasons, it is always all about THEM. So, they don't think of it as 'being out to get you or hurt you', they think of themselves and how spiritually strong they are, how God has given them strength to be able to do this, how this must the 'time of the end' bec they had to choose Christ over, even family members, how they can brag to others:"Hay, I have to shun my own sister! How do you think that makes me feel? It hurts everyday! But the truth is not to be compromised. SHE choose and now so must I". It is so black and white for them, it is always, "If you are not with us, you are against us".

    I had to take it in the above context and try to stop 'personalizing' it, in order to survive the shunning. Don't inflict even more pain on yourself by thinking about how much they 'hate' you. Maybe try to think of it in terms of the above. ????

    Hugs to you and know you have lots of 'family' here that are willing and allowed to share our lives with you. Jez

  • MegaDude

    You don't have to hate anyone. But you should love yourself.

    Imagine if your best friend came to you and asked you for advice. She has the same situation you do. Her emotions are constantly in flux over being shunned and treated shabbily by her family. It's a constant source of pain for her. When she finds out she's been excluded from a family wedding, it comes as a terrible shock. What would you advise her to do? Keep reaching out to her family? What do you think would facilitate healing?

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Crumpet - so sorry to hear of this.

    The cruelty of these people blinded by the idea that they alone have God's favor is unbelievable. Nothing they would do is surprising any longer to me. I just hope they get their eyes opened before they waste any more years in that messed up bunch.

    Again so sorry for the pain you must be feeling today.


  • MegaDude
    it is always all about THEM

    Boy, is that ever so true. LOL.

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