Huge shock!

by Crumpet 158 Replies latest jw friends

  • forsharry

    Oh Crumpie ::HUGS::

    Have you thought about text messaging him and shunning him? It seems like everytime you do 'hear' from your father it's always 'bad news.' I'm only saying this from an emotionless standpoint here...i know you are very hurt and upset by this inhuman deception and you have every right to be. 1 Cor. 15:33. Useful habits here is well, you're miserable right're not in your crumpet zone. You don't need this kind of hurt and nonsense. Better no family then a family that lives to make you suffer, like somehow you'll realize that you made a mistake and go back to the vomit.

    Just a thought.

  • Crumpet

    Forsharry I haven't replied to his message at all - I am shunning him to all intents and purposes. I feel a bit mean and childish doing it to be honest. Is that how JWs feel when they shun ? Its just all rather pathetic really.

    Don't worry I am refinding my crumpet zone - I think actually I need to give careful conideration to a rennovation of the crumpet zone - maybe it needs re focussing to pay attention to my life and those actively in it now instead of bewailing those who've left it. But can I do it? I have a dream of who I would like to be and its not who I am now...

  • forsharry

    I wouldn't really consider it's just not throwing more good after bad if you know what I mean. I also understand completely about not 'liking' where you're at now or 'who' you are...I hit that point in April of this year...All I knew was that this was not what I figured my life would be like. But change can come! Fear not yon Crumpet! Just take it in small steps...and know that you've got a support group! :) But I would text him and let him know what I was doing... "Due to the unloving and callous way you have treated me since I've decided my own life's path would be different from that of my family's I have decided to cease contact with you. Every time contact is made it seems to go badly and I no longer want the stress of that in my life." I see it is acting instead of reacting. I'm not even saying to actually go through with it but I wonder how your father would react being on the 'receiving' end for once in his life. Maybe he won't care...maybe it will assuage his guilt in shunning you, but ultimately it could clean up your life a bit. Oh yeah...this is a most awesome religion.

  • Crumpet

    thanks for the advice forsharry!

    BUT and big but I just dont want to be like them and my gut instinct tells me that I want to text back nicely - even just to reply to his initial question about my broken leg/ankle and toe. My urge is not to treat them like they do me butI'm glad I left it a while. I think safest is not to say anything about the secret wedding of two years ago. I care about them. I dont want to be mean now I've been helped by you lot from going overboard and reacting rashly. I want to keep that tiny window open.

    what does everyone think?

  • forsharry

    Although the vindictive, bitchy part of me says NO! GO DOWN IN A BLAZE OF GLORY! (with lightning bolts) I do BEGRUDGINGLY think that discretion is the better part of valor.

    ::sighs and kicks a rock::

    Will my dreams of world domination EVER come to fruition?!

  • fullofdoubtnow

    Oh Crumpet. I have been off the board for a while, and only just read this, and I do so feel for you. I really can't imagine how I would have reacted if such a snub had been aimed at me. I find it hard to think of a more unloving act, but sadly it is not untypical of them.

    And just remember, you ARE the normal one, it is them who are abnormal.

    all my love


  • Balsam


    I am so sorry your JW family treats you so badly. Not taking your calls, and not keeping you up on what happens in the family is really disgusting. I knew of some parents who did stuff like that while I was a JW and I told them what I thought of it and how horrible and ungodly it was to hate their disfellowshipped kids and relatives.

    My two sons and I are disfellowshipped, but their Dad does not shun them and even calls them to check on them though they are away from him. But then he and had talked about this very thing and I told him that in my opinion Jehovah God will punish such parents who turn their backs on their kids not matter what age they are. He thankfully has not done that to them.

    Your Dad behavior is shocking and revolting even especially since he claims to be a JW.

    Some have found satisfaction by moving and not leaving a forwarding address and just viewing their families as non-exsistent. They cut them from their lives. I don't know what to tell you except your loved here.

    Big huge warm motherly hug my dear girl,


  • Crumpet

    Hi guys and thanks for the new comments demonstrating yet again how much care there is here for me from Balsam and fullofdoubt (glad to see you back by the way).

    i have just responded - albeit two weeks later to my dad's text. Here's what I put - and can I just thank LT,DB74and Tijkimo for your input and support when asked for your advice:

    "Hi dad, sorry took time to respond, been manic at work with nearly 3 months to catch up on plus 2 secretaries have retired giving me triple the work between gruelling physio sessions. Thanks 4 asking - still need a crutch 4 longer distances but can limp around house and office withtou. Got news a few weeks ago that the metal plates, screws and rods will have to be removed in Feb, thought they stayed in permanently! So will eb unable to walk for several weeks until holes in bones heal up and then partial weight bearing on 2 crutches for a few more weeks then months of physio and hopefully normal walking by autumn 2006. So pleased to hear of [name of my sister removed for privacy] marriage, if a little after the fact. I wanted to send a congrats card,care of you, but maybe she'd prefer not? Perhaps you can let me know what u feel is appropriate? Love ninax " (Just realised what a long text that was - hehe!)

    So lets see if he replies and how ....I've been generous spirited I think and kept the tone light and chatty.

  • Crumpet

    Seems as if light and chatty paid off as my daddy replied today as follows:

    "Sorry not to reply earlier. Amongst other things (close friend of the family - a JW) is (seriously unwell). And (my aunt - Dad's sister, non JW, also in hospital). Hope u r coping ok glad to hear you can get in to work. Anything u want to send for (my sister or my aunt) I'll pass on. Luv dad."

    So that gives me an opportunity to make contact with the one member of my family who is not a JW plus send something to my sister. I bought them both cards today which I'll write after drinking in he New Year I guess.

    Good karma to you all and thanks for your support and interest!


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