Huge shock!

by Crumpet 158 Replies latest jw friends

  • Crumpet

    During my musings last nigth I did come up with one evil thought... i could text my dad and say I have some important news but I wil only tell him if he promises not to tell my sister and respects my wishes. I wonder what he'd say to that. I don't think he'd agree to respect anything about me let alone my wishes.

    well thats one to save up for when and if I start a family.

  • fleaman uk
    fleaman uk


    I was gonna count hiow many People on here have given you wise,kind and loving advice...but lost count there were so many!It is all so genuine too.

    I just wonder how many worthless,empty platitudes your Jw Family hears every Day from the so called "brothers and sisters...."

    I think you know where im coming from.....

  • 68storm


    It never ceases to amaze me how cruel humans can be towards each other. It is always the same though. They are mind controlled zombies.

    You probably don't know me from Adam (A few people do). I very rarely post (Even though I have been here forever?? 2001? I think!) and only have a handfull of posts.

    To give you a little background:

    I was married to a jw for 25 years (Pure Torture!) and let things slide to keep the family together. (It must be the EVIL Catholic religion that instilled in me the idea that marriage is forever)

    We had four children and even though they are a little mixed up, thankfuly none of them joined the club.

    She is currently married to the geekiest jw and claims to be in earthly paradise bliss! (Was going to say Heavenly).

    The reason that I can't bear to read the board is the fact that xjws that received so much abuse feel that it's not a cult. (Example: Def. stating that the shunning is scriptual....Please!, everyone that believes that, should read those scriptures again, minus the watchtower lenses!). Let me assure you (Being on the outside looking in) that they could teach a course on this for all of the tyrants of the world to use.

    It is perfectly normal for people suffering from mind control not to realize that in fact they are.

    I'll give you an example. I just got back from a trip to Cuba. I am the type of person that is not satisfied with visiting other countries and only hanging around the resorts. Everywhere that I travel, I enjoy moving about and meeting the locals. In Cuba, this is very difficult to do. The dictator acts in the same manner as the wts and will not allow interaction with outsiders. I always find a way around this.

    This time I stayed in a private home (Casa particular) that is registered with the Government. Everywhere we went it was full of soldier like policemen. They will not hesitate in arresting the locals found speaking to you. They are always in fear of getting caught (Sound familiar?).

    Once I got their confidence, they spoke of their strife with life as it is in Cuba. Still they are continually brainwashed into thinking that they are still better off then North Americans and Europeans. They feel that all the tourists are wealthy. I had a diffiucult time convincing them that I am an average wage earner in Canada and yet could afford some luxuries.

    They feel that even though life is tough, the dictator is best for them. I felt that for the first time I could put myself in my ex wife's shoes and finally understand her view of things. I must admit that I still feel strongly that her view is totally f***ed up. I found so many similarities between their attitude and most jws that I have met over the years. I feel that I came one giant step closer in understanding how brainwashing/mind control really works.

    Every day on their local TV stations, they played the same news reels over and over again. Does this sound a bit familiar? I am not very fluent in Spanish (I get by) but I continualy heard "Bush, Bush, Bush" and it did not appear to me complimentary.

    Repeat, Repeat, Repeat! That's how its done with any mind control. Everyone uses it. IE: Religion, Business cults, (Amway, Fuller Brush, Telemarketers, Mary Kay, etc. etc.

    I think that I rambled on enough. This is not like me. It just floored me when I read your post. How could these zombies be so cruel to another human being, let alone their own flesh and blood.

    I am so sorry that you have to be subjected to this.

    Take care,


  • daystar
    well thats one to save up for when and if I start a family.

    You evil woman you! I volunteer!

  • LittleToe

    ~wanders past door with bolt-cutters~
    ~sees Crumpet supine , chained to bed~
    ~does double take~
    ~discards bolt-cutters and walks in~

    "How YOU doin'?"

  • KimKat

    So sorry to here your news - we check the newspapers obituarys regularlly, because we will

    not be told if one of our parents dies. Hang in there - I figure that my family is, and always was

    so screwed up that if I can free myself and be only a little quirky that's ok. I look back at old pictures

    of myself when I was a witness and don't hardly recognize myself. hang in there -

  • sass_my_frass

    Oh hon that's appalling, I'm so sorry.

    Mr Frass just said 'now that's what I call indoctrination'.

    BIG HUGS to you!

  • sass_my_frass
    My dad must have immense strength of character to ignore me for so many years.

    Your upbeat attitude is what makes you such a goddess, and why everybody who is in your life must adore you!

    I have decided in my heart that my response is hapiness for my sister is married. It is the best route.

    I concur... be the better man!!

    I got this overwhelming mind picture of this family gorging on a feast and the dregs were falling. You chained to the table leg, grabbing at the crumbs and collecting them to make a mouthful.

    Your father throws a well chewed bone but your sister looks in disgust and swipes her greasy chin eyeing the dishes for another plateful.

    My opinion?

    Untie the chain and find your own feast

    A striking image that really rings a bell with me. I'm going to have to cut the chains from my mother soon, for the sake of both of our wellbeing. (refer here for today's drama and my current heartbreak... )

    When that happens I hope I am able to eventually put them out of my heart and not pine for the scraps of affection they throw me. An occasional phone text. A resentful phone call with news that a grandparent has died, only made because they know what tools they'll look if my non-witness family have to break the news.

    We don't have hearts of stone and it costs us hey, to keep showing unconditional love to people who don't do the same for us.

    i probably will send a card, just briefly wishing them well for the future. That way my dad can stew for a bit and then a nice card will come through and they will hopefully be touched and impressed at my warm dignified response ( I won't say anything snidey) and they will all feel rightly ashamed of the way they have treated me.

    I'm glad you'll make dad stew, he deserves it. Plus you have to make the most of the biannual contact you get with them hey? Sorry I didn't mean for that to be mean, but the though has occurred to me that I'll be stretching everything I get.

    I wonder how they explained to my non JW aunt, my dad's sister, who they are close to why I was not at the wedding. I bet they've led her to believe its me who doesnt want contact with the family without directly lying so it doesnt bring shame on the JWs.

    I wonder about this too... I have no doubt that they wash the facts, both to their non-witness people to make themselves look better, and to prospects, to hide the truth. Would my mother have joined the cult if she thought hard about what she'd have to do if one of us leaves it? I doubt it.

  • Crumpet

    My regards to Mr Frass, sassy. That is why I love this board - people like you who are busy making me and others feel better! Your comments were very kind - I wish everybody adored me! hehe.

    Little Toe - love the er new avatar. Have you any prezzies in your sack for me? And come back with them bolt cutters.

    68 stormfront - I feel very priveledged to be the poster that provoked a post from you. You have been here ages and its nice to meet you! Your story about Cuba made me feel instantly sorry for the poor locals who have to endure this kind of tyranny. The difference is - they know they are in a dictatorship and that life elsewhere can be free and different. The brainwashed JWs like my dad and the rest of my family don't believe that there is anything better outside the organisation and don't know that they are submitting to the worst kind of tyranny - depriving themselves of free thought and action even to the point where they will commit unspeakable acts of unkindness to their own blood. That which we are biologically and genetically programmed to protect and nurture they are brainwashed to the extent that they will remove protection and love - they don't see the way they are acting is unnatural, so very unnatural and so very hurtful and ultimately inhumane - and all in God's name.

    *shakes head in despair*

  • 68storm

    Hello Crumpet,

    Thanks for replying to my post. As you have noticed, rarely do I post on here. The odd time that I did, the thread was most always killed!

    I am self-employed and a single father (Due to his mother being R2D2) and therefore do not have much time to spend on here.

    Believe me, I understand the hurt that you suffer. I have experienced the same many times. I don't know if you could appreciate the fact that when my ex left (The way she chose to leave is another long and shocking story) I still loved her and I think she loved me. During the 30 years that we were together, she had always suffered with deppression (Most of us know why). It was extremely hard on everyone involved.

    The children always suffered because of her not celebrating anything. I always tried to be sure to have small birthday parties, decorate the Xmas tree, etc., etc, but children need their mother's participation. They would often feel so hurt when they presented her with a small gift (On mother's day, Christmas) and she would blast them instead of thanking them. Slowly they gave up doing it.

    We have been separated for 9 years now and you never know how she will react to any situation. You can see how she wears the watchtower glasses and goes against any common sense.

    I had tried for a number of years (After she left), to try and spark something in her mind. Approx. 4 years ago, I very gently mentioned the pedophile problem and she rushed home to accept this guy's marriage proposal. She had previously suggested that we remain single and friends for the rest of our lives. She was given the advise that it would be in her best interest to divorce me (She had a jw lawyer) and even though we started to get along (To the point that she used to come camping with my son and I) we could not reunite unless I became a jayhoe. This would only happen if Jesus appeared before me and personally told me that they represented the truth. Needless to say, it would never happen. Ultimately, this caused her to marry a useless jw that was poor as a church mouse and is now enjoying my hard earned money. He had nothing but the clothes on his back coming into the marriage but now has a house and a substantial bank account. He even has the nerve to pull the head of the family crap and handle all of my ex's money. He often refuses her spending money. She sometimes borrows a few dollars from our 14 tear old son.

    To this day, it breaks my heart to see how she handles our children (We have 4 boys ranging from 32 to 14). She is always off and on with most of them. We have one of them teaching English in Japan. He has been there for the 3 years. Every year he comes home to visit and refuses to see her. Even though she devastated my life, I still try and convince him to go and see her. He just feels that she is a "phyco" and wants nothing to do with her. She seems to be clueless as to why he treats this way. They certainly are BLIND! This is why your shock did not shock me.

    I appoligize for rambling this long to just to make that final point.

    So sorry for your hurt,


    PS: As for knowing about deaths, I personally new many of her family members quite well (They all liked me) and some have passed on and not a word was said to me (And I was never a witness). It is so much like the Gestapo!

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