I first became interested in the jws in 1981, aged 21. After 2 years of study I was baptised in March 1983, and within a year I was pioneering. I pioneered for almost 6 years, until ill health forced me to give up, but continued to be a zealous publisher until the last year, when I started to have some doubts, which I tried to dismiss at first. Then a close friend of mine who had left the jws in 1999 finally got round to disassociating last year, and I was advised to break off all contact with him. I always hated the shunning policy, and didn't want to lose touch. Apart from that, my doubts were by now too strong to ignore, and I began researching jws on the Internet. I soon realised that I have never been in the truth at all, and that the jws are a cult, nothing more. I disassociated on November 1st 2005, and now live with my boyfriend, the man I was advised to shun. I am so much happier now than I ever was as a jw. I work for the NHS, in the admin section of a local hospital, but hope to fulfil my original, pre - jw ambition and become a teacher.