azaria
JoinedTopics Started by azaria
-
69
My heart is ripped out !!
by Puternut ini am absolutly miserable !.
i am a newbie here, some of you have seen my posts.
and for those of you, who are old timers, this is no news to you.
-
18
I hope you can help!
by magnolia ini just recently came across this web site.
being one of jw's for 20 years, of course i never knew any web sites like this were around.
i have been df'd for almost 2 years now and i still can't get it out of my mind that i am going to die.
-
23
Any thoughts or suggestions........
by sarahj inhi, just wanted to introduce myself, i am 28 and from london and i am looking for some opinions.
i have family that are jw's and in my late teens i began bible studies.
i came close to baptism but was too scared about what i thought i would be giving up if i took that path.
-
40
The Drive Home Tonight,Crying.
by Blueblades inlet's see,where do i start?i decided to have a quiet drive home after work.it takes about one and half hours.no cd playing,no talk radio,no news, just a quiet drive listening to my own thoughts.i'm not concentrating on any one thing,just kind of letting my mind flow wherever it wants to.. then it starts,my mind goes back to when our children were small.as i'm driving i am having this flashback,i'm going to save my family from dying at armageddon,why the little ones are dependant on us for their future life happiness.. there will be no birthday parties,holiday celebrations,even though one of them was born on the 4th of july.no extra-curricular activities at school,and everyone will know that they don't salute the flag,nor sing the national anthem.and at the infirmary they know that they are not to take blood.. after school homework,the preparing for meetings,more studying comes next.no tv.
tonight,it's a meeting night.oh goody,the weekend is here,now we can go out and play.sorry,we have to go out in field service,mommy and daddy will show you how to have so much fun in the field service on saturday and sunday.. i start to cry,literally,there is real pain in my chest and a lump in my throat.as i have this flashback on the drive home tonight.i think of how i robbed my children of their childhood,i'm getting very emotional and angry,a picture flashes across my mind of all those years,30 plus,that i lost for my wife and children.the opportunities that we turned down,we are going to survive armageddon!.
i have had a talked with my family about my regrets over having put my family through this before and they don't blame me.they feel that i was doing what i thought was the best for them at the time.they forgive me,but i having yet forgiven myself.. the family says that they learned something about life,religion etc.that the experience has not made them bitter,and they have moved on.the children are happily married and doing fine.my wife and i are doing the best that we can with what time we have left.we are in our sixties,no retirement or pension fund.taking it day to day.. this is what happened on the quiet drive home tonight,it's been a year and a half of being inactive and still the flashbacks of the past 30 something years in the watchtower and all of what that has entail in raising my family still wells up inside me when i try to rest my mind and think of nothing.. i cried all the way home for one and a half hours,pain in my chest and heart,my head feeling like it would explode,angry at the society for the big chunk of life that they stole from us.. and i thought of so many others sharing the same feelings and experiences as my family,and those still stuck inside.soon as i arrived home,i collected myself together and said:"hi honey,i'm home!
-
36
Believers ? I need your input ? elder called and left my mother in tears
by acsot in[quick update: almost a year ago my mother had two strokes and a heart attack.
needless to say, we haven?t stepped foot in a kingdom hell since then.
some of the rank and file have been kind and supportive, so i have them over to the house once in awhile (i?m also doing it for selfish reasons since it gives me a break and i can get out)]
-
59
Witness band names
by seattleniceguy inlet's have it out - what are the all-time best band names for witnesses?
i'll start it out with a couple, the first of which really is a jw band in seattle....local needsbad associationsep2ajint.
sng.
-
84
Awake!: Caption Time!
by Stephanus inhere's a typical awake!
cover showing the sorts of problems we have that won't be solved until 99.999% of the population die at armageddon:.
here's the cover with the text editted out to help you in your captioning quest:.
-
43
Why do they post, "I'm leaving!" Topics?
by Maverick inwhen i log on i scan the "active topics" first.
check out who's posting what.
when i see an "i'm leaving!
-
34
What will you remember most about 2003?
by JH in.
with all the events that happened in 2003, what will you remember most about this year, let it be on the world scene or in your personal life?
-
6
Feeling Hopeful again!
by azaria inim finally (after about six weeks) starting to feel hopeful again.
it has been a horrible time for me.
i talked to an old friend who i trust about my feelings; about calvinism.