by Sassy 92 Replies latest members private
i am sorry that you have to face up to this Sassy.
Do what you feel you have to do, but personally, I would never give in quietly. I would refuse to talk, then maybe break appointments, tie up as much of their "valuable" time as possible. Let them work hard if they want my scalp.
At my last job, a JW co-worker gave my phone number, which she got off the firm confidential employee address list, to someone in her congregation. Now, granted, I knew this woman but hadn't spoken to her in about 20 years, so getting a phone call from her at work and then at home was quite a shock. I went straight to the Office Manager and complained, and she got in trouble for it.
The workplace is no place for a religious war, and that's exactly what your co-worker is doing. REPORT HER!!! You owe her nothing. She got you the job but you've kept it because of YOUR talents and YOUR abilities, not her charity.
Nina
Sassy, we'll all love you no matter how you decide to proceed with this
Ignore it. Let her wrangle over it, let her go to her PO, let him call you up and try to verify whatever it is they want to verify. Don't take his call, or just tell him you'd rather not discuss it and leave it at that.
Sassy,
I am very sorry that you have to go through this crap. I agree with ignoring it. Maybe I am being naive, but if you are not actively attending meetings and they don't have two witnesses to your behavior, then what do they have on you? When this happened to me, I ignored it, told the elders I was not "emotionally able" to deal with the accusations and then did not respond to their calls. I also did not go to meetings or have anything to do with any of the JWs in the area -- and they didn't want to deal with it and left me alone.
Best of luck to you -- in whatever you decide.
Purza
Sassy If it were me, I would get a small personal recorder and tape your conversation at work. Leave keys that prove it is at work by asking " why are we meeting in Charles or whoevers office to discuss this?
Also as questions like why are you wanting to discuss religion here at work?
Tell her you don't want to be harassed at work or will this have an effect on my evaluation?
Put a recorder on your home phone if you think you need to.
Keep all written documents like you have received.
You may never need these things but if you do, this would have a huge effect on what happens.
Especially if you take this info to an attorney or to the managment of the your work place.
Outoftheorg
Sorry to hear about this, Sassy.
One thing I have to say about your coworker: she's no fool. You can bet that if she were in your shoes, she would be documenting everything that happens. I suggest you do the same.
She's an honorable woman, and wouldn't do anything she believes is inappropriate. Unfortunately, Witnesses have an odd idea of what's appropriate. We know that, we've been there too.
If she is reading this, I can only say this: look in your heart, V. I know how deeply it hurts you to know that you've hurt anyone else's feelings. I know how deeply you are hurt when your friends leave the Witnesses. Please don't respond to hurt with more hurt.
--DanG
Euph.. you understand my situation more than anyone.. we both love her..
and understand the choices she is making, even if we don't agree with them...
Thank you for your comment..
Thanks to all of for your comments.. I am reading them through very carefully and with much thought.. I know I have to decide whether I let her force my hand, or if I use my legal choices.. I just need to sleep on it.. and think about it for a day or two.. I really really appreciate all of you..
Sassy I have never been a fan of the DA letter, Either way, DF or DA the announcement will make it seem as if you have forsaken "jehovah". The advice given here about getting legal representation and suing for defamation of charactor or libel or slander or whatever is the best advice I have heard in a long time.
However, what someone else said nails it, we'll love you no matter what you do! I'm so sorry you have to endure this right now with everything else.
Sherry
Sassy,
I'm surprised you've been able to hide it at work for so long. It's a shame that for almost two years you've had to surpress who you are out of love and concern for your workmate's feelings. She has no idea what it's like to be in your shoes right now, but you certainly understand what it's like to be in hers. It's tough, isn't it? Those bittersweet feelings. Remember now, other people can and do change (think of all the surprises on this board). Except, we don't get to control when.
Now the inevitable is upon you. That's the ironic thing that happens when the wheels are in motion and there is no turning back. You now have to decide what you want to deal with on a daily basis at work and accept who you are in your spiritual life. In your heart you've long DA'd yourself. That won't change whether you write a letter or not. People at the KH are going to view you a certain way no matter how you leave it DA, DF. That's their choice. It results in the same behavior from them. How much you want to invest in the appearance of the label is up to you.
Now, what do you really want? Where do you go from here? When you can admit that to yourself, you'll align who you are on the inside with who you are on the outside. Inner peace will surely follow.
Love you,
alias
I'm surprised you've been able to hide it at work for so long. It's a shame that for almost two years you've had to surpress who you are out of love and concern for your workmate's feelings. She has no idea what it's like to be in your shoes right now, but you certainly understand what it's like to be in hers
that is so true.. I never thought I'd keep it under for so long either... I've lived in fear/dread of dealing with this very thing for over a year and a half.. after a while I half heartedly hoped maybe she did know, but was just keeping her mouth shut to keep our business life professional.. and comfortable..
silly me.. like I could get off that easy
the best part about this whole thing is you guys all do understand my feelings. I went home to talk to my bf about this and all your advice and he doesn't get what the big deal would be to just write the letter and be done with them once and for while.. so I had to sit down and explain to him the emotional turmoil.. stress.. anxiety attacks I get from just thinking about dealing with elders again..
but how do you explain that so a non JW understands?
However, what someone else said nails it, we'll love you no matter what you do! I'm so sorry you have to endure this right now with everything else.
I don't know what I would do without you guys
