Welcome.
Felip, don't flip out. Let time be your friend. Take things in stride and be patient.
You have a lot to think about, so I won't add anything that hasn't already been said.
Guest77
Urgent! Need help - I told my parents.
by filip 311 Replies latest jw friends
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Golf
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Bryan
filip,
You have a pm.
Bryan
Have You Seen My Mother
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jgnat
Filip, I would say then to skateboard as much as you can. For you, to skateboard must feel to be free physically and free in your soul. Since you are dependent on your parents, you are going to have to be careful how much you share with your parents. Right now, they do have the power to make your life very, very miserable if they are unhappy. Do keep in mind there will be a day when you will be on your own and all your decisions will be your own.
My ex-husband was abusive. Something you said touched my heart:
So NOW he wants to spend time with me, be my friend, and be kind to me? but theres just something in me that can never love him? and he can feel that, so that sometimes leads to conflict where occasionally he goes back to his old him and loses his temper.
It sounds like your dad is a man who always had to be in control. This is not unusual for abusers. Abusers don't always control themselves very well, so they try and control everyone around them. If they fail, they take it as a personal weakness. So in a way, if you do not turn out the way he wants, he sees this as a reflection on him, his failure.
I can see what is happening. He has finally woken up to one of his big failings (lack of affection). He has decided to remedy this with you. Since he is a man used to getting what he wants, he has no idea why you do not respond the way he expects. In his mind there can only be two reasons. Either you are a big failure, or he is. Since he cannot face his own deficiency, he takes out his anger on you.
You are not a therapist, you are not God to bop your dad on the head and make him see sense. I don't think you are the one to help him see why he gets so angry, and why it is so wrong to do this. The best you can do for now is learn to read his mood and compensate. If things get worse, it might not be a bad idea to let a trusted adult outside your family know what is going on.
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morty
I
like the street-skating, jumping down some stairs or hitting a rail... uhhh, is it only me that likes the feeling of rolling down a rail and crush your balls on it?
uhhhh no.....My boys have taken up that sport as well( for abour 3/4 years now).....We have regular check-ups at the doctors to make sure everything is in order......
Tell me something though, what is it about when you have dissagreements with your folks ( or anyone for that matter) that you feel the need for the wind in your hair?? I can tell you from experience that my kids feel so much better as well when something is bothering them and they take off for a while and just board for hours...
I think it is great that you have alot of support here....Its hard enough being a teeenager and then throwing in some hormons and religion, makes for a deadly mix...
I wish you peace, happiness, and support from your parents or someone close you can relate to...
(((hugs))))
Morty
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144001
Just want filip to see another side on this site.
He's already seen that side, A conditional friend in need, and that's why he's here. It's a pity you don't have the same courage he does.
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a friend in need
144001 ... you didn't finish the sentence properly ... you forgot "ON THIS SITE". We all know what he hears in his home. I want him to see it here as well ... to see that not everyone here wants him to rebel. So far, I see he's picked up the lingo here pretty well. The language in his last post speaks volumes as to how he wants to fit in here.
filip: give your father a chance. Someday, when you have children of your own, and they test you to the limit, you may understand ... he's only human.
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Sunspot
afin,
I think the bottom line here is that Filip sees the hypocrisy and nonsense in the WTS and wants no part of it. You can't MAKE someone believe (and/or commit to) a religion that does not make them comfortable.
The WTS has nothing to offer *anyone* and the fact that he sees that at 15 rather than at 58 (like I was when left) is great. He will save himself a lifetime of subservience to a publishing company that hasn't gotten ONE "prophecy" right in all ITS lifetime!
Annie
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a friend in need
Annie ... you see filip as seeing hypocrisy and nonesense ... I see a kid who found an audience on the net that makes him feel good. No rules ... don't obey parents ... life (outside org) is just a bowl of cherries. Life can be a lot tougher if you don't have family. He has that. He isn't too pleased with his family right now ... most teens aren't. Helping a child go against his parents is a terrible thing.
Your slant on the WTS is just that ... another opinion. As long as filip lives at home, his parents deserve respect and, yes, obedience. When he is an adult, then he can decide what path he should take.
If he were catholic, or muslim, I'd give him the same advice.
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Doubtfully Yours
I don't agree with quite a few stuff from the JWs. However, it's not all bad.
Just so very inconvenient!!! Most of it!!!
So many damn meetings!
The damn time-wasting service time!
The disfellowshipping bit I dislike so much. The being so judgemental of others!
Why 3 assemblies, rather than just one? And a 2-day one at that!
And, by the way, let us celebrate some of the holidays at least.
No, it's not that they're so wrong in many things, it's that they inconvenience and interrupt normal life.
My opinion, of course.
DY
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Swan
As long as filip lives at home, his parents deserve respect and, yes, obedience.
From the way Filip described his parent's behavior, I would say his parents deserve counseling. Respect and obedience may come again in time once communication and trust have been re-established by a qualified therapist.
Tammy