Urgent! Need help - I told my parents.

by filip 311 Replies latest jw friends

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  a friend in need

  Tammy ... how did any of us survive this long without ' qualified therapists' ?

  A little common sense would go a long way ... funny, looking back, how a few bumps along the way make us see how important family is?

  Ephesians 6:1,2,3 "Children, be obedient to YOUR parents in union with the Lord, for this is righteous: 2 "Honor your father and your mother, which is the first command with a promise. 3 "That it may go well with you and you may endure a long time on the earth."

  Someone could well point out verse four to filip's father, but we are addressing filip here.

  DY: You do have a way with words.
• 

  SixofNine

  lol, in case you lost the plot, AFIN, filip here has serious questions as to whether ANY god exist (and I think he is smart to question), so it seems unlikely that quoting scripture is going to impress him.

  btw, great scripture ::eyesroll:: Just about anyone who wanted children to behave according to the writers standards could have written it. Why are people so impressed with this bible again? I guess I should remember, I was impressed for 36 years... but man! It's so transparent.
• 

  a friend in need

  SixofNine: and your point is???

  filip is a child who found his way to this adult site ... notice the change in his language since he got here? I wouldn't feel too proud to be a part of that. Quoting scriptures is something you scoff at ... what do you recommend? That he disrespect his parents ... that would be the opposite.
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  SixofNine

  :... what do you recommend? That he disrespect his parents ... that would be the opposite.

  I recommend that he get thru this bad situation not-of-his-making with his parents the best he can. I recommend that to the best of his ability, w/o selling his soul to the scumbags in Brooklyn, he keep his family intact to the extent that is possible. Unfortunately, that horrible religion often perverts simple decent humanity so much that it's adherents refuse to be human.

  I recommend that he love his father and mother, and even be grateful to them for giving him life. But I don't recommend that he worry too much about forcing himself to 'respect' that which has not earned respect. In spite of the bible's bad advice otherwise, "respect" is something to be earned, even by parents. Sometimes, it's given by grace ;) but not some mythological figure's grace, rather, the grace of one human to another. But that is up to each individual human to decide.
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  144001

  A little common sense would go a long way ... funny, looking back, how a few bumps along the way make us see how important family is?

  A Conditional Friend of No One:

  Common sense is severely lacking in the cult whose interests you have chosen to advocate. For example, common sense as well as documented research in child development tells us that it is unreasonable to expect babies, infants, and young children to sit perfectly still in kingdom and assembly halls for hours while listening to hours of the mindless programming. Yet, your cult encourages, facilitates and gives tacit approval to parents who beat their babies, infants, and young children for being unable to sit perfectly still and quiet while the selfish parents indulge themselves in the brain numbing programming that spews from the platform like stinky effluent from a broken sewer pipe.

  Please, save us the hypocritical concern for the importance of family. Your cult brainwashes its members to put the interests of the cult ahead of the interests of its victims' families. Countless divorces are related to the involvement by one or both of the spouses in your cult. Your cult deprived my family of any quality time together outside of the programming sessions due to its unreasonable demands on our family's time. What time we did have together was spent with my parents forcing us to be uncompensated slave labor salespeople for your cult. Reading your reference to "family" makes me want to puke. Filip is too smart to buy into your nonsense.

  Don't try to impose your mental weakness on this young man. He's already got more courage than you could ever dream of possessing. Are your efforts to weaken Filip's resolve attributable to your own inability to convince adults of the merits of being involved in your cult?
• 

  a friend in need

  SixofNine ... would you recommend the same thing if his parents were Jewish or Muslim? Or is your attitude 'slanted' by your past? Believe me ... there are lots worse parents out there. In this enlightened age of 'having all the answers' without the scriptures gets people a lot further ... yeah right!
• 

  AlmostAtheist

  afin:

  I see a kid who found an audience on the net that makes him feel good. No rules ... don't obey parents ... life (outside org) is just a bowl of cherries.

  There's certainly some truth to what you're saying. Everyone wants to feel accepted, especially at filip's age. He could easily be developing an us-against-them attitude toward his parents. That won't help him at all.

  However, I can't agree at all with this "no rules" comment. This is typical JW paranoia -- everyone "worldly" is evil. It just isn't true. And it isn't at all the advice he's been given in this thread. He's been warned to be respectful of his parents, not start on drugs or smoking, not "go wild". No one's telling him to go live on the streets, peddling crack.

  When a JW is out in service and a 15 year old answers the door, asking questions about religion, do the JW's ask him first if it's ok with his parents to talk to him? Some may, but most in my experience do not. They consider the information to be important and they share with anyone old enough and mature enough to seek it. Filip isn't "mature" -- he's 15 -- but he's mature *enough* to make some decisions about his spirituality for himself.

  Should he submit to a study? I think so. His parents want it, and it's easy to do and won't hurt him. If anything, it would help him see that the JW's really don't have the truth. Then when he decides to abandon it altogether, he'll be able to defend that position.

  Dave
• 

  a friend in need

  144001: show me your documented research please.

  I'm sorry your look back on your chilhood so badly. Mine was similar and my memories are terrific.

  You know absolutely nothing about me to tell me I have a mental weakness. While I may think that about you, it would be very bad manners to tell you.
• 

  144001

  Filip, Skateboarding provided me with the exact same escape that it does for you. Among other things, it allowed me to escape the mental and physical abuse I suffered as a result of my parent's involvement with the Jehovah's Witnesses. I did do lots of street skating, although it was quite primitive in comparison to the street skating I see the kids doing now. Skateboards were our primary transportation around town, as well as a vehicle for riding ramps and pools. I'm really impressed with the courage you've exhibited at a young age. I was born and raised in the lie that calls itself "the truth" as well. I stopped my regular attendance at the age of 14, and was completely out of it by the time I was 15. The elders actually threatened me that if I didn't stop associating with my best friend (who was also the son of Witness parents), they would disassociate me (I was never baptized and never had any interest in becoming baptized). I laughed in their faces, and they never carried out their threats. More than 20 years later, that friend is still my best friend, and I'm very very happy that I didn't listen to the elders. They were unworthy of my respect, and they are unworthy of your respect as well.
• 

  a friend in need

  AlmostAthiest: you and I agree on most points. Thank you for your candor.

  15 year olds, as far as I am concerned are asked in the door-to-door if they are allowed to choose their own reading material.

  While filip is old enough to decide on his own spiritual beliefs, he must obey his parents untill he can physically support himself.