Urgent! Need help - I told my parents.

by filip 311 Replies latest jw friends

  • stopthepain

    filip--good job on confronting you parents.

    To me them asking you to study with someone is pretty lame JW teqnique.They are going to pick the best brother out thier to reeeeel you back in.Another thing,could anyone of them study with you without using that literature,I doubt it.They have methods of getting you back in.They are proffessional "manipulators".They are going to use your raw emotions to try to get you back,not fact or critical thinking.

    As someone who was raised in the troof,I can relate to the feelinngs of uncertanty about the whole thing.Remember ,you have been brainwashed since you were born.5 meetings a week,service ,assemblies,talks to give,telling people your a witness,no holidays,ect,ect.This is not easy thing you are doing,but you'll see past this attemtp at ":bringing you to your senses".

    Again,you can decide for youself,UNDER 1 CONDITION.So they are saying you can't decide for yourself,in other words.

    Good luck,STP

  • Kenneson

    I think it's great that you're willing to look at both sides. Do your parents know that you visit this site? If they don't, keep it secret for now. Study with the brother. Present his arguments here and then allow those on this board to have counter arguments. After weighing the arguments pro and con, you should be better able to make your own decision. If that decision makes you happy, stick with it. Follow your heart.

  • The JellyBaby
    The JellyBaby

    oops...!Sorry about previous post.

    I'm really sympathising with you filip. The study thing is a standard action so that you will see your error of judgement.((??)) Religion and beleifs should not be a complicated issue as it seems to be as a JW. Do you beleive there is a god?,is there a purpose?,and did Jesus die for this purpose? This is how simple it should be. God IS love. When the great day arrives, (in whatever shape or form it does), you will be judged as to the condition of your heart. If the decisions of many to leave the JW way of life turns out to be a wrong one, then each individual will be judged on their single cicumstances as to why they felt they had to leave. Many dubs will have to answer for their actions that contribute to such ones leaving. You are not wicked, and it is not your fault that you have an inquisitive mind. Jesus offered his life for ALL mankind, as long as in your heart this is something you have faith in, then it will be something between you and God, (Jehovah if you prefer) at the end of the day...'''do not go putting your trust in earthling man...'' This includes the organisation, and any person from the JW that judges your actions otherwise. Be strong, be aware, BE YOU!

  • unbeliever
    that I would study with a brother for at least 3 months or more, so I could see for myself, and if I then still dont believe in it, they would let me decide.

    I would be weary of that 3 months or more statement. "Or more" could turn into a really long time. I would not agree to the study but if you do make sure there is a time limit and there is no misunderstanding that if you decide to leave they must respect your decision. If your parents are anything like my mother they will not accept your decision if its not what they want and will try something else to keep you in like emotional blackmail.

  • jgnat

    In normal families, you are of an age when you make up your own opinions on things. The Watchtower Society short-circuits this normal development, since nobody in the organization is supposed to think for themselves. It is not right that you should be put in a situation to accept your parent's teachings. It is not right that you accept the advice of others on this board as being the complete truth. Instead of being a puppet, it is time to put your own thinking ability to the test.

    Do you think you could approach a watchtower study as an independent thinker? It can be done. Instead of underlining the correct answer, ask your conductor to review each scripture in context. Question, question, question.

  • Elsewhere

    If it is "truth" then it should be as obvious as the rising sun.

    If there are all sorts of convolution in the explanation of "truth", then you must raise an eyebrow to it.

  • Sunspot


    Congratulations on your courage! At least everythings out in the open now, and you can proceed from there!

    The thought of having a study isn't all futile---I think you'll have the opportunity to ask some REALLY GOOD questions that have been bugging you. Of course you'll get a canned and somewhat rehearsed answer---but not THE answer---which will help YOU to answer how right or wrong they are! (hope that made sense! :-)

    The JWs are full of deception---unfortunately their OWN, and can only see what the WTS places before them. That thinking inside that narrow box, as it were!

    Simple questions like "how does the WTS *really prove* that they were "chosen and approved" by Jehovah---at ANY time??? Just because they SAY so?

    How do they justify charging their brothers interest on KH loans, when at Deut.. 23:19-20 CLEARLY states they should NOT?

    At Romans 8:38-39 we see that NO one can separate you from God's love, including the WTS! How can THEY claim to be able to determine that? Because, THEY say so?

    You'll find that most of their "claims" cannot be proven, scripturally or any other way. It's really disgusting, deceitful and ridiculous that they expect ones to believe all this---once you step away from it and look at things objectively!

    The scripture that Jesus said about his load being light and his burdens were not heavy (paraphrasing :o) sure flies in the face of the WTS lifestyle of constant preparing for meetings, Field Service, GOING to meetings and assemblies, bible studies both personal and with others....the list goes on. JWs don't have a chance to catch their breath or enjoy life bbecause they're exhausted. Brothers with a full-time job, and sisters with children---it's so unfair to burden them with ALL that the WTS expects of them year in and year out.

    They *aren't* pleasing Jehovah---they're pleasing the WTS!

    I wish you well in your next steps. It should get easier from now on now that all the cards are on the table.



  • filip

    Youre right, I have been brainwashed (for good or for bad) since I was born. When my parents arguments with me, I start thinking: "What if theyre right?" And I really get a feeling that they ARE right. But then again, Im thinking, what if I only feel this way because I have been brainwashed since I was born?

    When we had our "little chat" it was really difficult to come up with some good arguments. I said to them: "All other religions in the world ALSO believe as much you do, that they are having the true religion."

    Then they say: "Yes, thats true, but how can their religion be true when they are going to war? Look at JWs, they are the only religion in the world that doesnt go to war."

    further they say: "Look at everything around us. Look at the sandwich you have just made. Who made it? You! Do you think that the sandwich could have made itself?" I answer no. "Well then, do you think then that the universe, which is so much more complex than a sandwich, can have made itself? NO! thats a proof for GOD."

    Or: they mentioned a prophecy about the destruction of Babylon. That prophecie came in year 700 or something before Christ, and the destruction came 300 years AFTER christ. And they said that it was proven scientifically that the scriptures are 2700 years old. Now what can I say to that?

    Generally under the whole "chat" I couldnt defend myself at ALL. When they asked me what the exact things to WHY I dont believe was, I couldnt answer, because I dont really know. The reason why I dont believe is a lot of different, small as big things, and I couldnt describe my feelings... so all my arguments just dropped dead.

    My only good argument was: "You cant know 100 % if what you believe is true."

    They said: "What!? Yes we can! We know its the truth."

    I said: "No. You cant know. Thats why its called "faith", thats why you use the word "believe". In the end it all comes down to faith. I cant either know if Im right by NOT believe in it or if Im wrong. I can only believe. No matter how many prophecies there are, or how great the universe is, it all comes down to the faith."

  • Glofishy

    You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. :) You also are very lucky that you have parents that love you so much! Whatever you eventually decide to do, just keep in mind that your mom and dad really love you, and from their perspective, they want you to study and become a JW because they really believe that if you don't, you'll be destroyed.

    Hmm, what to do! Well, you're under your parents care and in their household...I'd take them up on the study, but don't limit your study with just what the brother has to say or what the book tells you. Do some independent research and ask questions! You'll find out soon enough what is commonly acceptable beliefs and what is not. I just figure it this way: Knowledge is power.

    Don't forget to hug, kiss, and tell your parents you love them after you chat. So often teens feel shy about that. :) And, even if you wind up disagreeing with their beliefs, always respect them and their choice of religious beliefs.

  • AlmostAtheist

    Yes, thats true, but how can their religion be true when they are going to war? Look at JWs, they are the only religion in the world that doesnt go to war

    That's false. Do a little research, you'll find other groups that refuse to fight. The term "conscientious objector" wasn't made up by or for Jehovah's Witnesses. The Amish won't go to war, I believe. Poke around on the net, see what you can find.

    The folks that try to prove a God by "intelligent design" put up some strong arguments. I don't think they're strong enough, but they're strong. Don't get into "God Vs. No God" with them, you can have that debate later. Right now, concentrate on "Jehovah's Witnesses have the truth Vs. Not" That's a much easier battle to wage. And win.


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