Urgent! Need help - I told my parents.

by filip 311 Replies latest jw friends

  • a friend in need
    a friend in need

    Tammy .. I am not side stepping the issues. Maybe I missed something .. how is filip being abused by his family? I will reread this subject but I don't remember him mentioning abuse.

    I agree he should do research ... under his parents supervision!!!!

    There are many small ones in my cong. I've yet to see or hear any of them being abused.

    If I wanted to, I could say I was abused by my mother too. She tried as hard as she could to keep me from taking the wrong path. She lost her cool a few times and said things she later regreted. Not especially a JW experience exclusively. A loving parent experience though. It is the mandate of a parent to do all they can to protect their child ... let's give filip's parents that chance!

  • FreeWilly


    I agree he should do research ... under his parents supervision!!!!

    Please, we are not ignorant here AFIN, what you suggest is just another tried and true cult tactic - INFORMATION CONTROL. You know filip would not be allowed to view anything critical of 'the Society'. Why is it that JW's fear critical information so much? Jesus never ran from it. Is it maybe because the assumptions JW's build their beliefs on are so fragile? Something to think about.

    Whenever a car salesman tries to discourage you from looking under the hood, NEVER buy that car!

  • a friend in need
    a friend in need

    FreeWilly .. you assume too much. INFORMATION CONTROL .. my foot! If anyone here had nothing to fear .. they'd whole heartedly suggest filip deal with this situation with his parents .. not strangers on the net. Are you assuming you know all the facts .. hearing only from a 15 year old child? Something you should think about.

  • Valis
    If anyone here had nothing to fear .. they'd whole heartedly suggest filip deal with this situation with his parents

    AFIN, he ideed he does need to deal with his parents. That's why he came looking for advice. People grow up a lot faster these days and the 15 year old mind is smart enough to begin coming to it's own conclusions. All he's going to get studying with his parents is the same old drivel he already knows. Children should be encouraged to learn about all religions and texts, not just your weekly pablum known as the Watchtower & Awake. They should also be allowed to make their own descisions regarding religion, which means putting one's beliefs to the litmus test. That includes the dissenter's voice as well. But no, he will most probably get guilted back into towing the line or threatened, which it appears has already happened. . Been there and done that!


    District Overbeer

  • Swan


    Tammy .. I am not side stepping the issues. Maybe I missed something .. how is filip being abused by his family? I will reread this subject but I don't remember him mentioning abuse.

    There was a post where Filip claimed that his father was becoming militaristic and threatened him with expulsion from their home unless he capitulated to his father's orders. Most children at age 15 or lower would tend to view this as an ultimatum. Even though his parents are the heads of the house and have the right to be obeyed in matters, there are limits to those rights that should never be exceeded. It is abusive to abandon a 15-year-old and send him out to fend for himself, and it is abusive to even threaten a 15-year-old with that prospect.

    I agree that there is not much we here on the Internet can do about the situation, but based on what Filip said, I believe he should be encouraged to seek help from the authorities and let them sort it out. If the parents are good Christians and acting in a loving manner toward their child, they should have nothing to worry about.

    There are many small ones in my cong. I've yet to see or hear any of them being abused.

    You are very fortunate. The cases I am familiar with had at least 8 known victims by 4 perverts (3 MS and 1Elder) in 3 different congs. all totaled.


  • a friend in need
    a friend in need

    OK Tammy .. I see where filip's father yelled at him and said something to the effect .. he could find somewhere else to live. You are right .. no parent should 'lose it' with their child. We are all just people though .. I've said SO many things in the heat of the moment ... and instantly wish I could take them back. Filip's father is just frustrated .. call it abuse if you will. I'm sure the authorities in charge of child abuse would see this as their mildest case.

    filip ... if you are still here ... do you really think your parents don't love you and want only what is best for you? Give them the chance ... in time ... when you are an adult, then make adult decisions.

  • FreeWilly


    What facts did I assume, could you enlighten me?

    Your words are desparate, hollow and without substance. You haven't addressed any of the issues he raised. Your solution is to simply suggest a round about way for Filip to have his head reinstalled firmly into the sand again. Filip is looking for a different prospective. One that his JW family and friends are, quite frankly, incapaple of fielding objectively. A little voice is telling him something isn't right. And low and behold something is amis in Watchtower land.

    What is really becoming evident is how paranoid Dubs are of scrutiny. Why is it the Bible has endure centuries of criticism, yet the Watchtower storyline melts so easily away? Over and over the Bible recommends testing our beliefs, yet here you are advocating an alternative to that.

    And where's your faith? - "Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Prove yourselves."

  • a friend in need
    a friend in need

    FreeWilly .. your assumption is that filip's parents will 'control the information' he is allowed to get. Thus, you assume too much. Simple, really. None of us know what his parents will do ... but as his parents, they have the right to do as they feel best.

  • Incense_and_Peppermints
    there is nothing out there that is any better than what you have.

    yes there is. way better!

  • 144001


    First, I'm curious about your profile picture. Are you a skater? The reason I ask is that when I was a JW kid, forced to attend meetings from the time I was born until I left at about age 14, my parents wouldn't allow me to play any sports at school, so I got into skateboarding, and became quite good at vert skating. I'm an old man now but I can still do pretty much anything on a skateboard that I did as a kid. I ride at skateparks about once a month or so.

    But seriously, my dad was an extreme JW as well. He ruled our house with an iron fist. Any disobedience was dealt with physically, including complaining about going to meetings, etc.. And you didn't dare say you didn't believe in the cult that calls itself "the truth."

    Your dad's arguments are BS. The claim that creation is "self-evident" is crap. Just because something is complex doesn't mean it had to be created by an intelligent being. Nature tells us that. Did your father ever consider the possibility that understanding the origin of mankind is beyond human comprehension? No, he just bought into whatever the corporate cult that calls itself the "truth" had to offer. It might surprise him if you focus on the reality that the bible was written by man, not the fictional god therein. And the Bible's claims that it is "inspired by god" are not authenticated; meaning that there is no independent evidence supporting such claims. Email me privately and I'll give you plenty of questions that Dad won't be able to answer without using my dad's favorite response, "I'll look into that and get back to you." Somehow, he never does get back to me on those questions.

    At some point, you're going to have to stand up to dad, just as I did. It cost me a broken nose, but it was well worth it. Since that time, I got my education and have been successful professionally, financially, socially, and last but not least, physically. My parents got used to dealing with me on my terms, and now we have a very good relationship, even though dad is still a JW elder.

    You're at a tough point in life. Life is no bowl of cherries, especially for those of us who were raised in this miserable cult. My best advice to you is to keep questioning the beliefs that have been carefully programmed into you by the Watchtower cult. As you pointed out, you often feel that the JWs might be right. That feeling is the result of very good brainwashing strategies employed by the Watchtower cult. How else would they survive if they didn't consume the lives of the youth? Ask dad for a copy of the Watchtower corporations' financial statements. I've never seen them and I believe that their failure to disclose them is attributable to their desire to keep secrets about compensation and perks given to the higher ups, from the "great crowd" of pigeons who pay their way.

    Finally, put everything you've got into your education. It's your best chance to escape, as well as to do something that will make you very happy in life. While you're at it, don't forget about physical exercise. Strong body and mind will keep the Watchtower plague out of your system. Please feel free to email me if you have questions or would like to discuss anything privately. I wish you the best of luck!

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