hello im new and I need your help

by PaNiCAtTaCk 109 Replies latest members private

  • Miata
    Miata

    Hello Panic

    If you are a good and suitable parent like I believe you are, then I would assume that you would not condone, adhere to, or promote a religion that protects child molesters would you? Take a peek at www.silentlambs.org and then let me know what you are thinking. I for one have absolutely no doubt whatsoever that Jehovah DOES NOT give his blessings to an organization that hurts children and allows innocents to be brutalized.

    Allow me to quote a friend of mine with regard to the society's handling of child molestation: "The WT seems to lack any moral sense of right and wrong and has no integrity at all. They are so similar to the Mafia and also Hitler. Any person or group that considers itself above the rest of mankind usually feels it is above the law as well. Again, to all, I highly recommend the book "Captives of a Concept". I've read it and it explains very well that Witnesses believe what they do because the GB said so, not the Bible. Think about it, if you ask most Witnesses why something is true or about the logic behind it, what material do they pull out? The Bible or Watchtower literature? In fact, the Bible is usually only used as a source of a scripture that the WT intends to quote out of context and twist to support on of their beliefs. Russell himself said that if a person had only the Bible and didn't have Studies in the Scriptures, he'd quit serving God after about two years had gone by. But if he had the Studies and didn't have the Bible, he'd be better off and would be serving God. I think that says it all. When people stop listening to the Bible and God and prefer "study aids", how can you expect anyone to know God's thinking? How can they understand that abuse is wrong if they won't read the scriptures where God said it was wrong? How far from sanity will the GB stray because they can't see that abuse is wrong and the children mean more to God than the GB's reputation? We all know the saying, "Do what I say, not what I do" when people tell their kids not to smoke, but are lighting up when they deliver the advice. That's bad enough. But the WT now says, "Do what we say, not what the Bible and God say. If you don't, He will kill you." Why would God kill someone for obeying him instead of disobeying him by listening to the WT?? Concerning Silent Lambs, "if this work is not from God, it will be overthrown. But if it is from God,.....(you all know the rest)". Well, Silent Lambs is still here. Let's see how long the WT lasts. "

    And another quote from the same friend: "People join the WT and remain in it due to THEIR own personal needs and problems, not because it's the truth. I know that was my reason at the time. When people are having problems, trying to discover the "meaning of life", have few friends, are searching for themselves, then the JWs "love bomb" them and suck them in. Who wouldn't want to instantly have dozens of people hugging/kissing you at the meeting, inviting you to dinner, and showering you with attention? By joining, you get an instant family of hundreds of people who all wear the same fake plastic mask. They don't love you, they only love the fact that you now have a brain that contains the same set of beliefs that they have. This is proven when you ask too many questions later on or try to leave. Then your "family" tries to kill you (emotionally or even when some attempt suicide). Come to think of it, the Mafia does the same. They don't let you leave quietly either, do they? And the poor victims of abuse are the ones hurt the most, since they trusted their "family", their "fathers and brothers", yet they raped and molested them. Then they try to leave and run for safety and are shot in the back. If this doesn't prove the WT's cowardice, I don't know what does.

    Again please go and investigate the silentlambs.org site and I really feel that it will change your feelings forever. I was alot like you until I found that site. After that, I no longer had any doubts at all.

    Good luck

  • Maverick
    Maverick

    Welcome to the JWD.

    Ask yourself these questions. If not for the unpleasant consequences regarding JW family and friends would you leave the WTS in a New York minute? Do you want your child to suffer the same social delemma when that child is grown and in the cult of his parents?

    Remember when the elders ask you the loyalty question, "Where will we go, for you have the sayings of everlasting life? " They are misquoting the words of Peter to Jesus as being to the WTS. The WTS has stepped in front of Jesus and usurped his role as Gods mediator to humanity. They are in fact the evil slave Jesus warned about and you are doing their bidding.

    You will need time to deprogram. Make new friends, make new habits of behavior. Remember the exit phodia the WTS install; "If you leave us it is the same as leaving God and all the bad things that happen are God punishing you and in the end He will kill you!"

  • lisaBObeesa
    lisaBObeesa

    "This is your last chance. After this there is no turning back. You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.... Remember, all I'm offering is the truth, nothing more...."
    ?Morpheus

    I want this to be the truth and I wish I had never
    read anything contrary.

    Hello. My heart breaks for you and your loss and especially for your guilt.

    There is nothing to be done for your loss of 'not knowing.' There is no magic blue pill that will make you un-know what you know.

    Am I a better person for reading apostate literature and frequenting boards like this? No im just confused now when before I always had the answer.

    DId you really always have the answer? Or was it all a lie? A sham? A trick? And as for being a 'better person' or not, you used to be a person who was tricked into believing something that is not true. Now you are a person who knows the truth. That doesn't make you a 'better' or 'worse' person. To use an example from another poster, when people found out that the world wasn't flat, that didn't make them 'better' or 'worse' people, they were the same people who knew more! FACTS are not good or bad. They are just FACTS.

    And don't feel guilty about thinking! Jehovah gave you that brain, didn't He?

    And now, as you think about the facts, you realize that knowing them changes everything...and it hurts. It hurts a lot. Many on this board have been through it...and have come out the other side and now live thier lives by what they really believe is right, not by Watchtower rules that they just 'go along with until Jehovah corrects things.'

    It is possilbe to live with integrity and truth. No denial. No hiding. No faking. No 'going along.' And most of all, no fear.

    Keep posting. There is an ocean of support here. You are a good person!

    Oh and as for your wife, she has a brain that she can use. Trust her to use it. Her beliefs are her choice. If she wasn't on the same page as you, she would have turned you in to the elders long ago. It sounds like you are a lucky man to have a JW wife you can actually talk to about anything...even things as difficult as this. What a blessing. And a little kid too! There are people here who are not so lucky.

    (((((((((Panic))))))))))))) You are going to be ok!

    -LisaBObeesa

  • Hecklerboy
    Hecklerboy

    Man Panic, I really feel for you. I too was raised in the "truth" and after 25 years I left. I can tell from your post that you are very serious in serving God and not an organization. That is very commendable. I think allot of us get caught up in trying to serve God according to someone elses rules. In my experience God is very loving and extremely understanding. With all the religions on earth today and most of them claiming to be the true religion and the only way to salvation. I think God will understand if we get a little discouraged. There's no reason for me to go into why I think the Jehovah Witnesses are not a good religion. It sounds like you have allot of reasons of your own.

    I really like the part in "In Search of Christian Freedom" where Mr. Franz compared 1st century Christians with today Christians. Back then there were on big organizations, not giant church, no list of rules to gain salvation by. The 1st century Christians did there personal best to serve God and to help other come to Christ and God.

    One last thing and I'll shut up. I always wonder about the rules and regulations that religions make people abide by in order to gain salvation. They say you must do this or do that in order to survive Armegedon, go to heaven, gain enlightenment, or whatever the goal may be. But what about all the Christians and even persons of other religions in ancient times and in the recent past that didn't do excactly as is prescribe to do today. Does that make their devotion invalid? I don't think so, whatever their religion, their amount of devotion and sincerity will be judged by God and not by some organizations rules.

    My personal opinion is we need to serve God to the best of our ablilities. Accept Christ as our saviour , and try our best to lead a life that God would approve of. That's it. God and only God will judge us in the end.

  • shotgun
    shotgun

    Dear Panic

    Learning the truth about the troof is similar to being dumped by your first love at 14 or 15 years of age, you ache all over and have a deep hollow feeling that overwhelms you...unlike that first heartbreak this does not go away in a week or two but it seems to last especially if the situations which remind us of it never change.

    I sympathize with you having a family and still attending meetings especially after reading so much and knowing in your mind what they teach is hocu pocus misdirection, half truths and often complete lies.

    In the e-mail you got from your friend

    THE FAITHFUL AND DISCREET SLAVE NEVER WAS INFALLIBLE IN THE 1st CENTURY AND IN OUR 21st CENTURY. THEY GIVE US OUR FOOD AT THE PROPER TIME. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? IT MEANS THAT AT A CERTAIN POINT IN TIME JEHOVAH LEANS OVER TO HIS SON JESUS AND TELLS HIM WHAT HE WANTS HIS SERVANTS TO KNOW, JESUS IN TURN DELIVERS THE MESSAGE THROUGH THE HOLY SPIRIT TO HIS SLAVE AND THEY IN TURN TELL US. SO IF ANY CHANGES HAVE BEEN MADE IT IS BECAUSE JEHOVAH HIMSELF HAS DEEMED IT NECESSARY AND BENEFICIAL FOR US. ARE WE NOT GLAD THAT THE FAITHFUL SLAVE IS ALSO REASONABLE AND HUMBLE TO ACCEPT THESE CHANGES AND CLARAFICATIONS IN CERTAIN MATTERS? IF THEY WERE NOT WE WOULD BE IN A HEAP OF TROUBLE.

    If you have read as much as you say and have taken anytime to research the WT using the cd-library you must know that's not true. If it is Jehovah must have an awful kink in his neck with all the leaning over he does continually changing the direction and teachings given to the FDS. Proper food at the proper time...when is it proper to teach lies?

    You must also know that they only claim to have this direction when it suits them and quickly revert to being imperfect men relying on the Bible for guidance when they make sweeping changes to teachings which have affected the lives of millions of followers.

    All the best to you, the road of real truth is in many ways much harder to follow than the road the JWs are on.

    Shotgun

  • unique1
    unique1

    I was raised a witness and have been baptized for 14 years. I just faded out about 9 months ago. If this is what you want to do, I have done it quietly and although my parents worry, I have not been disfellowshipped, or anything. Here is how to do it, should you choose to.

    Move to a different congregation. I live in a small town in rural america and there are two KH's within 7 minutes driving time (so I assume this is probably true in most places). I left the one my parents went to in favor of the one 7 minutes away and had my records moved. When my parents asked why, I told them I didn't feel loved in this congregation and wanted to give another one a try. Then I went to Thurs & Sun meetings at the new congregation. (Let me preface this with the fact that I grew up a witness in this area and know people in both halls, but trust me no one is as attentive to your missing meetings as relatives are so find a hall without them and it will be much easier.) Then I started just going on Thursday nights. Then every other Thursday. Eventually I stopped all together. I was offered a visit by the elders, but I turned them down. I told them I didn't wish to have one, this threw them off a bit and they kept trying, but I just said, I appreciate your concern, but I just don't want one. They left me alone.

    Now, to my advantage, my husband had already stopped and was there for me when I did this. He never put his beliefs upon me. He said I should read CoC if I wanted to know why he didn't believe in 1914 anymore and that was it. He always helped me get ready for meetings and never asked me to stop or anything. This may be the best way to deal with your wife. If you don't want to go to the meetings, just tell her, I simply don't want to go and as a "free moral agent" I can make that decision. If she wants to know why, sit down and show her why or give her the book and say if you WANT to read it you can, but I am not asking you to compromise anything for me, I am merely asking that you be informed. It sounds like she will be supportive of you no matter what.

    My parents know I don't go to meetings now. They think I am weak and that is fine. But they can still talk to me and so can all of my friends because I am not disfellowshipped.

    As far as your son goes, he will eventually have to make up his mind for himself later in life as to which religious path he will take. The best you can do is try to give him a spiritual basis. This doesn't have to include field service!!! You can do this by reading him the bible stories and showing him you believe in the bible. You just have to remember, and this was hard for me, that the Witnesses are NOT God. You answer to Jehovah when all is said and done, not the JW's. So you CAN believe in the bible and all it says and not be a JW. At first it will be a hard distinction to make because of the years of indoctrination, but it can be done.

    Best of Luck to you!!!

  • Doubtfully Yours
    Doubtfully Yours

    Welcome!

    DY

  • Balsam
    Balsam

    Dear Panicattack,

    Take your time, do not rush to any decision. Think out what you want to do carefully. Rash and hurried decision will just cause you anguish later. You know what you have read, and the sound reasoning of Ray Frantz. Only you can decide if you can stay within the boundaries of the WTS way of honoring God. You must allow your wife to decide for herself. If she is willing to listen them calmly tell her what you have learned.

    There is lots of support for you out here, if you wish to leave. But there are friends who chose to say in or just fade out so to speak and they do fine Unique1 has done it successfully.

    I've been out for 3 1/2 years but had little family to be affected by it. And my two nearly grown sons left with me. As for friends yes I lost them but I have many more friends and lots of good people I've met. I'm disfellowshipped and so are my oldest son, and my youngest son is fading.

    Hang on there, go slow.

    Balsam

  • amac
    amac

    Hello Panic,

    For the sake of time, I've had to skip over page 2 and 3, but I'm sure you have been given some good advise...

    I'd like to make a comment on your friends analogy of "apostate" literature to being faithful in marriage. It is ridiculous and totally irrelevant....a better analogy would be that if you are married to the woman you love (equals being baptized and devoted to the F&DS) and there were numerous books (equals apostate lit) that documented how your wife has been lying to you and cheating on you (equals false doctrines, false literary quotes, being an NGO in the UN, etc) would you avoid those books simply because you loved your wife? Or better yet, what if your wife said "You better not read those books or I will kick you out of the house!" Wouldn't you think that odd? Wouldn't you think, well if you're not lying and cheating on me...why do you care so much if I look to see what these books are talking about?

    Not reading apostate lit was always one of my pet peeves even when I was an active MS. I always thought, if this is "The Truth" I should be able to read anything and have "The Truth" be able to stand up to it. The comeback to that was always that it is a protection to us...but then I thought...well if they think I am so dumb as to fall for lies in apostate lit than that must meen I am too dumb to know if "The Truth" is full of lies as well.

    By the way, I am in my early 30's and not long ago was in your exact same shoes. I only recently went to my last meeting within the last two months. If you want to talk about anything specific, please feel free to pm me.

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff
    I would suggest removing the exact text and paraphrasing the Brother's e-mail so that those who read this thread and wish to help you can still respond, but you will be more difficult to trace.

    Good suggest outnfree -

    Pan - good to have you on the boards. This phase of leaving would prob be comparable to the 'denial' phase of losing a loved one - it seems strong in your case. It was in mine also. All the things you mention are real - yet when you look back on them down the road - they will be far less difficult. The organization is high-control and propaganda oriented - look at your friend Ray - he was in full time service for 40 years, and left penniless and without a friend - DUE to principles. That is what you are doing too.

    I was in for 30+, many on these boards for far longer - it is a tough spell to break. Some cannot do so. It has to be your choice entirely. I could not deny the inviability of the organization once I became convinced that the 607 dateline was faulty - more than that - they have known it was faulty since the mid-70's and had not told you and I. This is not the 'imperfection' that many will attribute to the matter -this is fraud and deception - lying. Just one point.

    It is tough - if u want to talk on a one to one - just pm me here. My post are all over the board so you can trust me, if u want to. May God bless you - it is your dedication to Him and not to an organization that matters here.

    Jeff

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