I always had alot of friends who did things together all the time. When i was aux pioneering I enjoyed it and felt I was doing Gods work. I was good at sports even though I couldnt play at school for a team. WE had lots of get togethers with 4 different congregations so I was surrounded by Jehovahs Witnesses all the time everything I did. When I looked at worldly people I would think to myself " They are so lost and unhappy"
I had a great youth and was always happy even while I was sitting in the hall while the other kids were having a birthday party. It just didnt bother me because "we had the truth" and I felt special. I believe that if you explain these things to your son or daughter from a young age it will not be that much of an issue. I knew more than "its just wrong" or "we dont celebrate that" I understood why. So raising my son
as a witness is not an issue for me. If its the truth then I dont have a problem with that.
When I started working on my own with worldly people i got to know some of them really well at work. Of course we talked about religion alot and why I believed certain things. During our conversations several times I could see why they believed the way they did. I started to notice that baasically you can interpret the bible any way you like. Even though one work mate was a Strong Catholic and the other A Babtist I started to respect them and learned to really like them. In my mind I started to feel that surely Jehovah wouldnt destroy them because they didnt listen to everything I said. Because even though they believed different than I they were still devoted to their beliefs and they seemed to be able to back them up. After I learned alot about all the false predictions of the society I could start to see why nobody listened to me. They could get on the internet anytime and print out actual quoutes from Watchtower literature that really made us look bad. No matter how many times you tell them New light ect. ect. better understanding through the years blah blah blah. They would still look at me as belonging to some weird sect
or cult that has predicted the end several times. Its no wonder they dont listen to me. As long as a JW stays inside his watchtower bubble he is happy and feels special like he or she is part of something exclusive and special . Their is a reason they encourage self employment landscaping, waxing floors, window washing and things like that. Because when you get to working with the world and get to know them better you find their are some sincere people out there. My last two jobs have been shift work (firefighter) and Operator at a chemical plant. They are both jobs where you spend long hours with other workers giving you lots of time to think and talk and visit. These people become like family to each other in these types of jobs. If I had pursued something where I could be free from all association with worldly people then I know I would be happy right now even if I was living in a fantasy land. I write more later
hello im new and I need your help
by PaNiCAtTaCk 109 Replies latest members private
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PaNiCAtTaCk
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PaNiCAtTaCk
My wife had a talk last night raising the question "Is loving our neighbor all we have to do?"
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jgnat
Well, then, if you are unhappy spending time with ordinary, compassionate people because it conflicts with a fantasy, I am guessing the misery will be short lived.
You know, a sweet old JW woman tried to comfort me the first time I visited a Kingdom Hall. "Don't worry, you will get used to it." That little statement gave me the shivers. Still does. Get used to the guilded cage? No, no, no you can'tmakeme. I like how God made me so uniquely gifted. I don't want to be made in to a drone.
You are not yearning for the safe guilded cage, are you?
OK, maybe for a while. But I bet it won't last. You know too much. You have grown bigger than the bonds holding you.
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amac
Panic...
Don't mean to beat a dead horse, but we are very similar....I too had a great happy childhood as a JW and was as happy as any worldly kid and comfortable with being a JW. You will find many on this board who did not, or maybe who were seriously wronged by the elders or others in the hall and are very bitter about it now. I never was, it was simply the beliefs that I had a problem with...just like you. So don't be scared off by any of the bitterness, just understand where it comes from.
I think the biggest challenge you will have to face is in teaching your child. Eventually, you are either going to have to teach him/her something you do not believe in (which is unfair to them) or you will have to take a stand for what you believe....trust me, as soon as you teach your child something contrary to JW standards, people will find out very quick!!! Children love to talk...
For instance, I think the not celebrating Birthdays is ridiculous...I felt like an idiot telling my child that we couldn't do it because of a superstition we have about it "might" be bad. That there are 2 bad "references" to it in the Bible....don't mind the fact that there are over 250 negative references to dogs, but they are OK. So I let my children go to a neighbors b-day party...and that one time is all it took to get an elder's visit.
As others have said...take your time in doing this...don't make any rash decisions.
In my mind I started to feel that surely Jehovah wouldnt destroy them because they didnt listen to everything I said.
It's funny you mention this...in my last elder's meeting, they asked me if I thought anyone outside of Jehovah's organization would survive through Armageddon. I told them I have no idea since I cannot read hearts and I am not set to judge people, but that I imagined there would be some who were not JWs who make it through (we were talking about those who are alive at the time of Armageddon.) I was told I was wrong, and that ONLY those in the organization would make it. I thought that was absurd as I seem to have felt others could make it my whole life...so after the meeting I did some research on the WT CD. What I found was interesting, they never outright say that only those in the org will make it through Armageddon, but they never word any articles to support the idea that anyone outside would make it through. They all supported the idea that only those in the org would make it, without outright saying that was the case.
This is interesting to me as I would be willing to bet that 30-50% of JWs think that some non-JWs will survive Armageddon. But the WT's literature does not support this idea anywhere. Typing this has reminded me that I still want to write a letter to the society about this to get an answer. I think I will...
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Quotes
First of all, WELCOME!!!
This part of the email made me laught out loud:
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WHEN WE RECOMMENDED YOU TO READ ONLY THE FAITHFUL SLAVES PUBLICATIONS WE WERE NOT ASKING YOU TO FEEL PART OF A SECT OR CULT. IT IS A MATTER OF LOYALTY.
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It's NOT a matter of being part of a cult...but... we make it a matter of loyalty, which is exactly what a cult would do and say....
LMAO,
~Quotes of the "Say No To Cults" class
http://quotes.watchtower.ca/ -
formerout
Hi Panic,
Thanks for the PM. I hope the advice has helped you put things into perspective. I also wanted to comment on something NewLight said that I agree with wholeheartedly:
You are carrying way too heavy a burden of FALSE guilt which should be lifted once you come to understand that this 'guilt' is not real.
This is something we don't necessarily realize when we are in the middle of it. I know I didn't. I had a few very loving, caring people who loved me unconditionally, that very SLOWLY and non-judgementally allowed me to see the reality of what was in front of me.
Take the time to analyze what's in front of you. Who encourages you to be you and who tells you who to be some molded being? None of us are perfect, but I have seen more true, unconditional love shown on this board than I ever did at the meetings. This board should not be your new God...... but nobody should prevent you from getting good advice from it either.
Please don't let the guilt NewLight spoke of prevent you from getting the benefit of our concern.
Brad
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Kenneson
Panic,
My heart goes out to you. What a struggle you are going through! But I remember it so well in my case also. I was torn apart by doubt and confusion. I no longer believed, but stayed because of family and friends. But, one day, I had to be true to myself. So, I started questioning publicly, was disfellowshipped for apostasy. Lost JW family and friends. But, then found a brand new set of friends. That was 38 years ago. Hope you will find the peace and happiness you are seeking.
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codeblue
Welcome PaNiCAtTaCk
I love your name!!!
I have been posting a little over a year and understand how you feel. I have read each page with great interest.
I don't think I can say anything that hasn't be said...
One thing is that if you ever get stuck in the "grieving process", remember the 4 stages...go get counseling from someone reputable with exiting from the JW religion.
I suggest reading both of Steve Hassan's books: "Combatting Cult Mind Control" and "Releasing the Bonds".
It is hard to go back when you know the "real truth"...
I believe that serving Jehovah should be with no hypocrisy...How else can we serve him with "spirit and truth"? I also believe that the brotherhood should show "love" as one of the identifying marks of the truth religion. I have not felt it for years. A defining moment for me was with our last move, and the elders showed up for a "welcoming visit", they said, we need your publisher cards cause "you might be pedophiles". I sat on my couch in horror.............I know that Jehovah or his son didn't approve of that comment. Other strange and unloving comments were made. No love there...If I were a study I would run as fast as I could from this religion. Being raised in it and doing it for years, I tried to go for a while (because we have been told to put up with the imperfections. But how many times do you have to put your hand on a hot stove??? Jehovah doesn't want us to feel emotionally bad)...then I learned of certain things that were NOT scriptural.
Spiritual abuse is very hurtful. I also suggest reading: "The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse"....It never talks about the JW religion, but you would think the writers were JW's...It is a very good read and helps you to rationalize why you shouldn't ever put up with spiritual abuse.
It is good to know you can talk to your wife....she sounds like a very mature, intelligent, loving wife.
My husband, NOdenial and I are fading....(because of family)...So I understand the nature of many of your posts.
Hope you start to feel better....
hugs,
CodeBlue
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PaNiCAtTaCk
I worked last night and I just read all the posts. Once again I really appreciate the encouragement. I am considering everything that has been said. I just went to the grocery store and The Ministerial Servant who
wrote me the email was in town and at the store. We shook hands and he told me that he had read my email. He then assured me how much he cared for me and my family and that I was a wonderful brother with so much potential and that he really looked up to me. He then went on to say that he hoped we could keep emailing each other and that was his first intention was to just keep in contact. I told him "Brother ******* it was obvious in your last email and in the previous emails all you were doing was trying to bait me to say something apostate so you could turn me in." I then went on to say that I respected his intelligence and that I did wish we could talk about things but that he was no longer on my servant, elder body. I told him that I had turned in more than one friend in the past for various offenses, fornication, ect. ect. and that
I know that he would turn me in in a second reasoning "because he loves and cares about me". He never denied my allegations and went on to say "Well I hope you would do the same for me". He said, "The reason
I worded my email so direct and straight forward was because the society is straight forward and doesnt beat around the bush on these issues.
In an effort to end our discussion I just said "apostles doubted and misunderstood things and thats where I am at right now and I feel guilty reaching out while I'm having these doubts." at this time my wife walked up and the conversation was over. Their are so many things I want to say to this brother but I know he will turn me in. Its very hard to hold back when someone is begging for you to speak your mind. Thanks again for being friendly to me. -
Sirona
Hi Panic
Welcome to the forum!
I'm glad you're able to share your experiences here. Keep talking. I'm sure things will improve for you over time.
Sirona