Say Something Jehovah's Witnessy........

by minimus 160 Replies latest jw friends

  • jst2laws
    jst2laws

    Come on Ozzie,

    My friends and I are calling on you and your neighbors.

    Those are the exact words we used here in the USA. It is seem terrible that the 'sales presentations' are so rigid they don't vary more than a word from one English speaking country to another.

    Steve

  • Badger
    Badger

    I was going to just let this pass, but I've been inculcated to respond to thing that attract our interest in the direction the world is heading.

  • prophecor
    prophecor

    " Undeserved Kindness"

    " We Don't Want To Stumble Anyone"

    "Hello Mr. (fill in the blank) and how did you enjoy the meeting?"

  • MungoBaobab
    MungoBaobab

    Setting: District Convention

    Tone of Voice: Bombastic

    Time: Second to last talk, and you're bored as hell

    "...IN THESE CRITICAL TIMES HARD TO DEAL WITH, LET US BEWARE THAT 'THIS WHICH WE ARE REAPING, WE SHALL SURELY SOW.' NO, NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO 'SHRINK BACK IN DECLARING THE UTTERANCE OF THE SOVEREIGN LORD JEHOVAH.' SO LET US DO OUR UTMOST AS WE SPREAD THIS 'GOOD NEWS OF THE KINGDOM' IN EVERY LAND."

    >>applause<<

    "YOU PARENTS!! DO YOU NOT WISH TO INCULCATE IN YOUR YOUNG ONES A SENSE OF URGENCY REGARDING THE PREACHING WORK, AS WE BEHOLD THIS DAY DRAWING NEAR?"

    >>applause<<

    "YOU CHRISTIAN YOUTHS!! DO YOU NOT ALSO WISH TO SHARE IN THIS HEARTFELT, NEVER-TO-BE-REPEATED IN GATHERING WORK OF SUCH SHEEPLIKE ONES?"

    >>applause<<

    "YES, LET US ALL, YOUNG AND OLD ALIKE, TOGETHER JOIN IN THE MINISTRY, BUYING OUT THE OPPORTUNE TIME IN THESE CRITICAL LAST DAYS!!"

    >>applause<<

  • Brummie
    Brummie

    Mungo, THAT was great! >>>applause<<<

    Brummie (still laughing)

  • MelbaToast
    MelbaToast

    Maybe your time would be better spent pioneering, sister.

    The podium is no place to play, kids. (In a PO sort of tone)

    PLEASE BE SEATED

  • Odrade
    Odrade

    " YOU don't have the PROPER PERSPECTIVE!"

  • Fleur
    Fleur

    oh god, i'm crying over here...

    "Most kind and loving heavenly father Jehovah. " and they say not to repeat prayers! Reading that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up!

    Loved the "Please be seated" too. and that rousing rap up of a DC talk LOL

    Here are a couple more for your cringing/enjoyment...

    "There is nothing on earth like the Worldwide Brotherhood"

    "There is so much love among The Friends"

    "Don't use the assembly for smiling, styling, and profiling!"

    "Goodmorning, I'm just stopping by briefly..."

    "No, I'm not going to college/dating/breathing because I'm going to Bethel."

    thanks for the memories...I think!

    (p.s. someone, a newbie said a ways back 'is this an apostate site?" honey, there are all kinds here. Judge for yourself, and welcome!

    ~Essie

    (who I guess failed to have Faith Like That Of Abraham...)

  • MungoBaobab
    MungoBaobab

    Ever notice how they (we!) would enunciate all the buzzwords, too? As if to stress how down with the lingo they (we!) were?

    "Yes, well that was before the new understanding of the term 'generation.'"

    "Afternoon arrangements are at 12:30 for service."

    "Unfortunately, some suffer from fear of man."

  • seawolf
    seawolf

    Do you believe this is the truth?

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