I've finally found out my BIG PROBLEM with women.....

by logansrun 124 Replies latest social relationships

• 

  Nosferatu

  Now, perhaps I read into things but when she put her hair up with one of those things that girls use to tie their hair up, and judging by her eye contact and the way she was moving forward a little -- she was into me.

  All I've gotta say is - Good Job!!! You were correct. When this happens, you have to move in for phone number. You weren't reading into it too much. One thing I must point out is some women are more difficult to read than others. Better to grab the number and give it a shot than getting nothing. You never know unless you take the chance.

  That's always been my problem. Not initiating conversation, not in being cool or nice or even sexy. It's keeping the damn conversation going. My mind just can't take more than a few minutes talking to one girl. I either get kinda bored or don't want to "ruin a good thing" by saying something stupid. I just peeter out like some bad stock.

  Who says you have to keep the conversation going? Once you have her interested, grab the number and bail out. Then set up a date. Dates are good for getting to know women better. Take full advantage of dating.
• 

  patio34

  Hi Bradley,

  I didn't see that anyone else commented said anything about (darn WT word!) the following statement you made:

  This "ten-minute time limit" mental dilemma is killing my damn self, though.

  I have to say that I hope it's your only "ten-minute time limit" with the women

  Pat
• 

  WhyNow2000

  Write down your number and tell her that you would really like to continue the conversation and if she wants to call you

  Bad idea. Have you noticed how many guys just give their phone number left and right. Guess what becomes of the phone numbers...yes trash's best friend. It is better that you get her phone number. That's the real test if a woman is interested and/or comfortable with you or not. If she says no, go to the next Starbucks and start all over again. It is a numbers game.
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  Nosferatu

  Okay, now that I've read the rest of the thread, there's more to comment on...

  You think I could make a calling card? "Bradley at your service....847-962-dot,dot,dot,dot." Seriously though, just a pre-printed card with your name, phone number and email address? Or is that just fvcked up?

  That's a bad idea. Get her number. I would've have a lot less dates if I gave out my number instead of getting hers.

  BTW...I would find it more of a turn on if the guy ended the conversation first...makes you think he has a life.

  This is good, and I've done it. Keeps her wanting more :)

  This is why I like being in a group of at least three people.

  Groups are distracting. In the beginning, get her to focus on YOU. That also means her not bringing a friend on a date. It should be you and her.

  Ask for her email addy. Less Threatening.

  Disagree. Who cares what she thinks? If he's not dating her yet, it shouldn't matter. If she doesn't want to give out her phone number, he'll find out. Also, you wouldn't believe how many women give out their phone number even if they're not interested in dating.

  If you're having a problem with pauses of silence in the conversation, it happens to everyone. You're not alone. Here's a tip (even though it sounds mean): let HER worry about filling the gap in conversation. Trust me, women get the same way. You're not there to entertain her, you're there to HAVE FUN! Tease her, take her somewhere unusual for a date (ie costume store, thrift store, pet store) and you won't believe the tons of fun you can have! My most successful dates weren't movies or dinner, they were stupid things. In fact, I've only been on 2 movie dates with my fiance in the 1 1/2 years we've been together.

  Planning a fun date creates it's own conversation.
• 

  Maverick

  Runner the ten minute thing is very good! Always leave first! Most guys keep talking until they say something stupid and blow it. Never give her your number unless she asks for it! After ten minutes just smile and say, "I have to go but I would love to have your home phone number." Then shut up and watch! You can gage her interest level but what she does next. If she digs you, you will see her get you those numbers! When they like you they make it easy! Anything else is a wash. Get up and smile and walk away and don't look back!

  Never ask women for advice of this stuff man! How weak is that! You will get all manner of BS pal! Watch what they do, NOT what they say! Hang back, be cool, and don't stress over one girl! Meet lots of women! They are fun and interesting and the more you are around them the less you will freeze over anyone of them! You are being interviewed when they first meet you Bro! Interview them back! If they get stupid...blow them off! Tell yourself you have ten girlfriends and one more will be just a pain in the backside! They will crawl all over you! Don't act desperate! They will run from you! Women are way smarter with the people skills than we are. Let them chase you! Why spoil their fun! Enjoy the game my friend! And yes it is a game, so ladies spare me your political correct BS! Maverick
• 

  SixofNine

  I have the opposite problem I guess, I can't start a conversation with a stranger to save my life, but on the few occasions it's happened, and it's been nice, and I've been attracted, I found some way to at least ask for a way to continue. When I didn't succeed, it may have been because of my obvious nervousness in asking, or it may be because nice, pretty women really are likely to already have boyfriends, but I always felt better for having asked. This in spite of a unhealthy fear and loathing of rejection.

  So now you have my curiousity up; just why didn't you ask for her number, or ask her out? It doesn't seem like the 10 minutes of conversation then I'm done thing is really the problem at all, is it?
• 

  Odrade

  two words: activity dates.
• 

  Nosferatu

  So now you have my curiousity up; just why didn't you ask for her number, or ask her out?

  I find it best NOT to "ask her out" on the first meeting. I find that women are generally turned off by the word "date" and the phrase" go out". Just assume that she wants to date you. Let things build naturally. You're not asking her to marry you, you just want to have some good conversation and have a good time. Let the relationship build on it's own.

  A phone number is non-threatening. You haven't indicated your motive. Also, leave your conversation for the date, not the phone. If you do all your talking on the phone, you'll have nothing to talk about on the date.

  ... and ditto everything Maverick said.
• 

  Xena

  Never ask women for advice of this stuff man! How weak is that!

  Yea we have noooo clue what we want.

  I don't give my number out to strange men. I don't want or need a stalker or obsessive caller, thanks but no thanks. Give her your number, if she likes you and isn't involved with someone else at the time she'll call you. And Bradley...just say NO to the cards...
• 

  talesin

  what Nosferatu & Maverick said.

  Also, to get that first date.

  On the first meeting, communicate your interest nonverbally. Look at her face (I know that can be difficult at times ) and have a 'listening' attitude.

  Let her know that you'd like her number, but probably won't call 'till the first of the week' or whenever, less than a week, but not tomorrow! ie, you have a busy life and may like to share some of it with her. Then, you have a few days to plan your 'date' strategy.

  You have also let her know, in an oh-so-subtle way, that you are neither desperate nor lonely.

  works for me (heheheh)

  tal