B*st*rd, F*cking B*st*rds!!!!!

by LittleToe 131 Replies latest members adult

• 

  marriedtodamob

  bttt
• 

  Sentinel

  (((Ross))) These types of family issues really bring it all home regarding how certain religious dogmatic views separate and tear families apart.

  Let's see, my sister was the first to marry, but she was df'd, so I wasn't allowed to be a part of it. Then, by the time she was trying to get back "in", I was df'd and she couldn't be a part of my wedding--neither of my parents attended our marriages. However, my dear sister did invite us and my husband's family (all non-JW) to a little celebration in their home. Bless her heart!!

  Then my other sister got married, and she was df'd, and I had already begun the process to "get back in", so I didn't attend her wedding. So all us girls had no family present when we married. Not even any of our non-JW relatives attended. That was because we felt so badly that our own parents and sibblings couldn't be there, that inviting other rather estranged non-JW's would have been icing on the cake.

  When the youngest sibbling announced his wedding, I was a thousand miles away and didn't have the funds to attend. Not that any of us girls were invited. (by that time all three of us were out without the intent to ever return.) My parents gave my brother a most beautiful wedding. Then they would. He was still "in" and was marrying a JW who had been reinstated after being df'd.

  When I re-married the second time, I didn't even think about inviting my parents. Neither one of them were speaking to me at the time. One of my sister's was able to be there and that meant the world to me. She helped me to get dressed and fix my hair...what a happy day. My other sister was trying to find her way in life, and could not be there.

  It took another five years before my dad ever even met my second husband, and more than ten years before my mom agreed to visit us together in our apartment. By that time, the three step-sons that I raised had left us to go live with their mother. She never got to meet them.

  Obviously you are very close to your sister and this is wonderful. Your mom hides behind your father's decision. But that's what the women do. Her heart must be breaking over this.

  I'm thinking of you and your sister. There is just no easy way to get through the pain of shunning and separation. Thank goodness you have each other!

  /<
• 

  LittleToe

  Well, my sister sounds a little better, but she's putting on a brave face (if you're reading this, sis, just know that you can't fool your big brother).

  I'm a little better, today, and healing on the outside. However the wounds are deep, on this one.

  Thanks, everyone, your concern is heart-warming.

  Mobbie:Sorry this one is driving you over the edge. Every now and then I have to take a break, too. Come back real soon.

  Dansk:Thanks Ian. I'll see if I can get down by, sooner rather than later (it'll probably be after the wedding, though).
• 

  blindfool

  L-T,

  I'm sorry to hear about all this.

  I hate what the WT does to people.

  So many people are hurting because of the policies of this group. Please know we are thinking of you and your sister.

  BF
• 

  kj

  I'm so sorry your sister is going through this. We can't have family get togethers with our whole family either, because his father was DFd over 25 years ago. Half of my side of the family boycotted a party we had last summer, and I was heartbroken. I can't even imagine how your sister must feel, with this being her wedding. Just remember- they are hurting THEMSELVES. They are going to have to live with what they are doing for the rest of their lives. I will say a prayer for you and your sister.

  kj
• 

  Tatiana

  ((Ross)) I just read this entire thread.

  I know this sick feeling inside, as I've felt it before. It's rage/horror/disbelief/helpless/empty/hollow/dispair/gut-wrenching/shock/pity....and then all over again.

  Sentinel...I read your post above and wanted to pull out my hair and scream!!! The total absurdity of it all.

  To Ross' sister....you are not alone. My mother had to "consult the elders" before deciding if she could attend my rape trial with me. I didn't want her there after I found out. She also did not come to the hospital after I had my last son, Dominic, even though I was having potentially dangerous surgery. She was in her "shunning" mode then. Actually, she didn't even see him for three months. But, my best friend, (a worldly girl) came to the trial with me, and to the hospital with me. And I didn't even ask her to.

  So, who was the "true Christian" and who wasn't?

  Like I've said before....if these people are God's chosen ones, then I will gladly worship the Devil!
• 

  pamkw

  LT,

  I so understand why you are angry. I put up with stuff like that from different members of my family too. Right now, my mom is being very nice to me, can't figure out why. But my youngest sister is the queen bitch of the world (jw style). I have been having a hard time, not being able to find a job, and because of her, my mom can't help me. I think my mom would, but my sister keeps her accounts for her, and she and my mother's husband (her father) have decided I am not good enough to help, that my bad luck is my fault and I deserve it. My sister's main reason, I will never be a jw again. We pretty much hate each other. She goes out of her way to get my mom to stop talking to me, but right now my mom isn't listening. (I will enjoy it while it lasts).

  When my neice got married in the kh a few years ago, the elders made alot of her decisions for her. My oldest sister, mother of the bride, is deaf. The elders would not let a family member interpret for her. My do gooder jw sister (same one as above) was not going out in service enough, and I was not going to meetings, so the elders appointed the woman to sign for my neice's wedding. It was an elder's wife, and she set the (gag) proper example. Pissed me off, it was not the elder's decision, it should have been left in the family. That wedding was the last time I have been in a hall, and I don't think I will ever go back.

  I understand you anger, I have been there myself.

  Pam
• 

  LittleToe

  So much hurt, at the hands of the WTBTS

  I know I haven't directly responded to you all, but please be assured that I've read it all, and appreciate your taking the time to post. It's things like this that help you come to terms with the fact that it's "not just you".

  I came to the realisation, last night, that this had been another way the WTS had managed to get to my feelings.
  Another lesson learned, and more defenses in place. Where does the madness end?

  Tat:

  if these people are God's chosen ones, then I will gladly worship the Devil!

  Another sound bite to remember, and hopefully recall at the right time...
• 

  Satans little helper

  Ross,

  thanks for your reply to my PM, I hope seeing that you guys are going through what so many of us have been through makes you feel a little less singled out.

  Just a thought, whilst it is a heart breaking experience for your sister, sharing it here is a positive that can come out of the pain and show people who are on the fringe of the JW's just how destructive their association is. Hopefully it will help someone have the conviction to break away or strengthen the resolve of a waverer.

  I hope your sister has a wonderful day and that you can find it in your heart one day to put aside the rage and anger and feel pity for your parents' small minded stupidity. Truly it is their loss.

  Steve
• 

  Number 6

  Hey Ross,

  just spotted this thread this morning whilst browsing and couldn't help but respond. Yep I've done the whole "Watchtower Ruins Family Wedding" thing too back in 1990.

  That crowd of bastards ruined what should have been the happiest day of our lives with their restrictions on my df'd Sis in Law that is nearly drove me to a nervous breakdown. Far too long to post it all here right now but safe to say my wife and I have nothing but a sour taste in our mouths on our anniversary date such was the hell we went through at the hands of that sack of shit religion. But I'm a great believer in 'what goes around, comes around' and I truly think that all the shit dumped on people at the hands of this religion will come back to haunt them big time one day.

  As our fellow countryman south of the border says, "fuck 'em"

  Let me know next time your down my way and I'll buy you a pint.

  Craig