Is Having Kids Worth It?

by Prisca 103 Replies latest social family

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    Nina and I were married 10 years before having children. Jennie is 9 and Jackson is 7. It's been an interesting ride, and we're not even halfway done.

    All I can tell you Prisca about children, is you better be ready. There are all sorts of negatives, they're loud, they interrupt, they're expensive, they're demanding and they can be irritating and aggravating as hell.

    But then I remember the first time Jackson came up to me and, for no reason, gave me the biggest hug and told me I was the best daddy. My desk at work is covered in pictures Jennie has drawn. It's a neat feeling.

    I think kids are like a roller coaster. Up, down, around -- you never know what's coming next. It's scary, exciting and fun all at the same time. Is it worth it?

    Yeah.

  • refiners fire
    refiners fire

    Pris.

    Personally I wouldnt know what to do if not for the joy that my sons presence brings to me. Children are a joy,if you are willing to spend some time on them. Of course there are those who are too self absorbed with their own careers and personal wants to give anything of themself to any other person. Too bad for them. I put a bit of effort into my son and it pleases me that, at 13 he chooses to spend time with his old dad.

    Perhaps you need to rethink some of your categorical and set positions with regard to being a "house mum". I cant imagine many 'established' men who would be interested in financially carrying a woman who wants to make a career out of cleaning the house and nursing baba.

  • little witch
    little witch

    RF

    I will now introduce you to my husband, of 18 years, who loves, admires, and appreciates the fact that his wife is a ''house mum''.

    We have a wonderful family, a happy one...Staying home is not easy, yes there are sacrifices, and IMHO, a wonderful fullfilling CAREER!!!!

    I am good at what I do, and am not ashamed of my duties...What you said is hog wash.....'cept for the thing with your son...that was acceptable. lol

  • Ravyn
    Ravyn

    I read the first few posts and then decided to quit and just give my opinion since I tend to get upset about this issue.

    I was born into a genetically 'charged' family and even tho I wanted children up until I was about 28, I decided not to have any. I am SOOOOOOO glad I don't have kids. For me the disadvantages far far outweigh the advantages. And I see so many useless, ill equipped ninnies out there raising children. I had foster children. Try doing that until you find the person you want to have children with. It will either kill you or cure you. The Casey foundation is a fantastic International group who does foster care for children who fall between the cracks--like kids who can never go home because their parents might be in jail or disabled, yet they were not abused and therefore have a relationship with them, but need you to raise them. It is a good group- look them up. Everything is paid for--everything. And you are trained and licensed by Casey. Total support 24/7, not like state run foster care that is horrible in the US---I did that too.

    My sisters kids are going to end up in jail or the nut house and my husband's niece is going to end up pregnant and a hoochie mama. No way I want that in my house ruining my relationship with my mate.

    A woman can be totally fulfilled without having to give birth.

    Ravyn

  • refiners fire
    refiners fire

    Witchy.

    Its all carefully weighed in my mind and is purely my own viewpoint on things, as indeed your view that I talk 'hogwash' your own view on things.In my view Im worth a certain amount of money in assets, If I were available and interested would I marry a young thing that has 20,000 worth of debt, no assets, and wants to stay home making a full time career out of a 3 hour a day job, while I work in the factory 60 hours a week to support her?

    I think not. Im past such things. Im too experienced. Im not that desperate. Thats my position. Love it or leave it

  • little witch
    little witch

    ok, Rf....

    different drum....BTW, was only in jest.....not personal...

  • Xena
    Xena

    Funny I thought people married for love...not for the size of someones assets or lack thereof...*sigh* this could explain why I am still on the market.

    Xena of the hopeless romantic class

  • freein89
    freein89

    Oh they are a lot of work, I had 4 in 5 years and I still can't figure out how I did it. The rewards are great and so are the worries. I was divorced and then single for 7 years, when I met my sweetie, he had children and of course so did I. But check this out, he made an offer to seal the deal, in case I wanted more children, he offered to have his vasectomy reversed.

    Wow! That man really loves me, what a huge offer to make. I thanked him and declined the offer (six kids is plenty) and we are now being presented with grandchildren, number 4 is on the way.

    Anyway are kids worth it, yes they are. Raising them can be wonderful and later the rewards are great, they come to visit with kids of their own, dogs and all that baby stuff, they fill the house right up-with love and laughter.

    Deb

  • refiners fire
    refiners fire

    Oh, and Witchy, dont forget. Theoretical "missX" who I choose to marry and divest my genetics upon, after 7 years of marriage and 2 kids decides shes had enough, leaves me, and cleans me out of everything Im worth thanks to the court system.

    Do I look stupid to you?? I think not. Get out and get a job. After all, we live in an equal society now. Everyone has the "right' to support themselves. lol.

    edited. Im not attacking you witchy, its cool. If your hubby wants you at home thats his business. But id be arranging "pre nups" agreements myself

  • unbeliever
    unbeliever
    I think not. Im past such things. Im too experienced. Im not that desperate. Thats my position. Love it or leave it
    Do I look stupid to you?? I think not. Get out and get a job. After all, we live in an equal society now. Everyone has the "right' to support themselves. lol.

    You crack me up. You sound EXACTLY like my dad. He will send any woman packing that even hints at wanting to be supported.

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