Ex-B ... I am a person that never dwells on what have could have been, I don't know why. Just highly pragmatic I guess. But I do think that there is something more important to understand here.
No one is 100% happy. If you are ... you have a real psychiatric disorder. Millionaires and Billionaires regularly get unhappy ... yes people totally free to do what ever they want, regularly get even suicidal.
But what everyone can be 100% of the time, is being 'content'.
Now I know that I've been lied to about the beliefs I held for years. I even doubt, that there is a resurrection. However I also now know (as a older adult) that I've been lied to about many things. The government that rules me, has lied to me and withholds trues even today. The history of my country and its national hero is mostly made up. My sporting stars take performance enhancing drugs, while claiming total innocence. Even my wife, whom I love, lies to me from time to time.
But I can accept it and understand it.
It doesn't mean that I like knowing the uncomfortable truths, but a adult I have come to realize, that it is all part of the human condition. People are imperfect and so some will even do terrible things to others.
Thus I get back to my original though about being content, and ask a question.
Could you be content being a condemned Jew living back in Auschwitz concentration camp?
Of course you can not be happy, but you could be content even there, even knowing that today could be your last day alive. It a bit zen, I know ... but it is true. And I'd go even further to say that, without contentment you would most likely just give up and die.
So I think in the end ... that it doesnt matter if I know or don't know the truth about the Truth. Because I can be content with my life, regardless of what pill I took from Morpheus. However if I HAD to choose between knowing or not-knowing ... I'd rather know, because its my nature. Sadly many people just can't cope with truth, but I can be ... while being sort of happy ... and that enough for me.
