Here is the situation: i'm not a JW. However, i'm in the process of becoming one. In fact, i'm studying with the JW's, and I'll proceed to become an unbaptized publisher as soon as I finish the first book.To make a long story short I was introduced to the Truth when I was 18een. I was studying with the jw, but then stopped when I started my first semester in university. I was in medical school at that time (I still am), and was also working 25 hours/week to pay my student loans. I found it really hArd to balance school, work, and my personal study. I was constantly missing the meetings and postponing my personal study. I faded, and eventually left the organization... I would like to mention that ,while being "in the world", I haven't committed any serious sins that could be considered a difellowshippement offence. As a matter of fact,I'm still a virgin. It took me two years to go back to Jehovah. Today, i'm studying again with my study instructor, i'm attending the meetings regularly, and doing everything I'm required to do. Yet, I feel rejected by certain members of the org. The sisters and brothers, for the most part, are welcoming and very encouraging. Everyone is nice to me except for one family who is making my integration a vey hard process. The father is an elder, and all five children (4 daughters/1 son) are pioneers. The mother, a very condescending lady, shows hostility towards me in a very passive-aggressive way (if that makes sense). While she puts a ridiculous amount of energy to show me that she deliberately avoids me, she spends most of her time scrutinizing me during the speeches. She loves to scan me from head to toe searching for something to point out. Luckily for me, I know how to dress glamorously without breaking the rules. So there is nothing she can report (not in this area anyway). A friend of mine (who left the organization) warned me about this tendency the members have to overanalyze one another. She even told me that "good-looking" single sisters are often put under a microscope more than the rest. Now I don't consider myself to be particularly attractive. However, I do take care of myself, wear nice clothes, and I'm often told that i'm very feminine and sensual. I don't understand why this elderette acts the way she does. She makes it very clear that she's bothered by my presence. She didn't always felt that way though. She tried to befriend me (probably because her son socialized with me a lot) prior to me leaving the organization, but I never let het get too close. For some reason, I never felt comfortable around her. I know only God has the power to read people's hearts, but I don't think she is that good of a person. Sure she does display some christian qualities, but then again I suspect that she does this only because she gets some sort of reward out of it. For example, one time she had me over for diner just so she could get personal information about my life... Now, she's very cold with me, and won't say a word to me. The last (and only time) she has spoken to me was 4 months ago. She wanted to know when I was going to finish my study. I told her I had four more years to go. We never spoke again. Her whole family is shunning me except for the father. The daughters will look at me from head to toe, but won't greet me. As for the son, he was friendly with me until recently. We have had a lecture about uneven yoked marriages and the dangers of marrying non-believers not long ago (WT STUDY). He stopped socializing with me ever since. Being an introverted person, this type of behaviour doesn't normally affect me. But since it's coming from a very influent family, I'm afraid that it will affect my integration in the long run. I'd like to understand why i'm being treated with suspicion. I know that some sisters look down on me because I want to pursue higher education. I may even be regarded as materialistic and selfish, but the truth is that I don't have any other choice but to build a career if I want to be able to support myself while pioneering. Also, I'd like to spoil my parents because they've been working so hard for me. I have no intensions of getting married whatsoever. Therefore I have to be able to support my own self. It's difficult to be treated like an outsider when all you want to do is to serve God. The fact that I don't have any family members in the truth makes it even harder. At this point I don't know what to do: should I continue study with my study instructor until I get baptized, and then switch congregation or should I stop everything now and switch congregation?
Thanks for your help guys, and sorry for the poor quality of the language.