I remember a few years ago I read some online criticism claiming WTBTS uses mind control, I remember feeling irritated by the claim, 'what a load of nonsense' I thought. Nevertheless the thought stayed with me and as time passed I began to notice the truthfulness of the claims. Guilt, fear, emotional blackmail and pressure - I began to see that WT exploits these emotions. I began to think for myself, if WT got the generation wrong, as well as 1975 etc, how can we be sure they've got the blood issue right? God relaxed his sacred standards on marriage to save women's lives in Israelite times, how can we dogmatically say he is unwilling to relax his law on blood to save lives? My doubts were growing on many fronts to the point that it was just a matter of finding the courage to walk away. In spring 2015 I abruptly told family\elders that I would not be attending meetings anymore. I told them I had doubts, that I didn't want to talk about them and that I wanted to be left alone. When pressed for more information I simply repeated myself, 'I don't want to talk about it' 'please leave me alone'. The tactic seems to have worked, a rapid fade. I can see now that for years I was going through the same cycle doubts-thought stopping- suppression- indoctrination-cult mode. But 6 months on from my 'walk away' the cycle is smashed and I can feel the mental relief. By April I discovered jwfacts (thanks Paul) and you guys! By May I'd read Steve Hasan's book. Now I feel deprogrammed and alive. Mortal but alive.