Feeling rejected

by Esmeralda001 77 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Esmeralda001

    "Once you get in you must marry a brother, not just a brother, but one with good stand. What gonna happen if you reject somebody who pursue you? Think through everything before taking any action, it's easy way in hard way out."
    Even if I were to get baptised tomorrow, they wouldn't expect me to get married any time soon, for I would be considered spiritually immature. Anyways, there is no way i'm going to marry a JW men. From what I understand from some of your storries , some of these men are tyrants. Plus the jw dating system is a big whole mess. I refuse to be stuck with someone I barely know. Marriage is a personal choice. The elders cannot conceal a sister for not wanting to pursue a courtship with a brother, as there is no scriptures saying that mariage is mandatory. I want to remain independent so that I can take care of my parents. Dating and getting married is big No-No for me.

  • Tenacious

    Esmeralda - It may or may not have been said to you but my personal opinion would be to reassess your commitment to the Jehovah's Witnesses. Ask your study instructor to answer questions that can be posed now and not later. You appear to have a good heart and good intentions toward finding God and His Son and all that entails. You are smart and very capable and should be able to discern truth from falsity.

    I strongly encourage you to visit sites like jwfacts.com.

    If your study instructor or any other brother or sister tells you to avoid coming to sites like this one or sites that are critical of the Jehovah's Witnesses ask them that if their religion is the truth, nothing or no one can pollute that and the facts will always come through.

    The actions from the elderette you mention is typical of many sisters in a position of prestige and/or power. You have barely scratched the surface as you will see many more actions and tactics from other Jehovah's Witnesses who claim to be spiritual yet they "prove false to its power."

    Never be afraid to research the truth before you make a life-altering decision of becoming baptized as one of Jehovah's Witnesses.

    You are attending a university and this, in itself, will make you look "spiritually weak" if you ever decide to become a member.

    Best of luck to you.

  • azor
    Ashleigh Brilliant put it well regarding truth when he said "The greatest obstacle to discovering the truth is being convinced you already have it. "
  • Esmeralda001

    I'm going to take advantage of the fact that i'm not yet committed to the religion to ask my study conductor to give me some more explanation about the false prophecies, the WT's affiliation with the united nation and the new light thing . I understand that it really is a serious matter and I won't be rushing into baptism without having the full picture. It isn't in my interest to let my study instructor know what I have been up to lately so i'll try to be discrete about me visiting "apostasic website" (like french jw like to call it). I need to gather info from both parties so that i'm able to fully understand what it is all about.

    Thank you very much for the support guys. I will keep you updated.

  • LisaRose

    I am glad you are going to look into it. I get that it is a blow to find out that many things you believed to be true might be a lie, I was in the religion for thirty years, I was devastated to learn how much I was lied to, it made me feel like an idiot for believing it and wasting so many years. But it is what it is, if the Watchtower has the truth then it should hold up to scrutiny, if it isn't the truth then you need to know, even if it is hard to accept. Jehovah is not served by practicing a lie, and something isn't true just because you want it to be.

    Of course they will have we explanations and excuses for all these problems, but you should be able to figure out what the real truth is. Beware of confirmation bias, the human tendency to accept facts that confirm our belief but reject those that contradict them. With your education you probably have better critical thinking skills, so that will help.

    Take care and let us know how it goes.

  • vivalavida
    I won't be rushing into baptism without having the full picture. It isn't in my interest to let my study instructor know what I have been up to lately so i'll try to be discrete about me visiting "apostasic website" (like french jw like to call it). I need to gather info from both parties so that i'm able to fully understand what it is all about.

    Hi Esmeralda,

    I very seldom comment here, but seeing your "evolution" has prompted me to comment. Most people who land on this forum without knowing that it is not pro JW, run like crazy when they find out it's mostly ex-JWs.

    In your case, you have the correct philosophy as I've quoted above, namely:

    - Do not rush without having the FULL PICTURE and,

    - Gather info from BOTH PARTIES so you can FULLY UNDERSTAND.

    I think those two are key. Kudos to you! I just wish more people who are in would recognize the importance of those 2 factors.

    Have a great day and greetings from Germany


  • azor

    One of the things that will likely be mentioned by your study conductor is that what you have been told are lies and that in order to know the truth about a group you need to go to the source. Information they have on a given subject only. I find it interesting that we as people will often take this at face value, yet research the purchase of an appliance thoroughly. It's good to see people are changing.

    I for one learn more about a potential product purchase from the negative reviews than I do from the positive ones. Ask yourself or your conductor if they would trust the reviews on a LG refrigerator that came from LG only. We would dismiss that as ridiculous, yet that is one of jwisms' main line of reasoning.

    What you have mentioned as your tie to this as being truth is similar to what troubled my wife. Needing a channel to go through for truth. You stated earlier if jws don't have truth who does.

    Go back to jwfacts.com and look under the section interesting, subject under topic of interest "where else to go." This will adress the breakdown of that scriptures meaning.

  • bafh

    The issue is they are jealous of you on multiple levels:

    1) you are smart

    2) you are attractive

    3) you are sensual

    4) you are independent

    5) you are educated

    How could they possibly compete?

    All of this however gets you the label of being "dangerous" - it won't matter if you move congregations unless you move to an affluent congregation with many educated/professionals - you will be treated like this no matter where you go.

    They consider you a threat and they always will...

    Leave now while you still can.

  • The Governor
    The Governor

    I was NOT raised a JW and have no family in the religion. I was a study for two years (much like yourself). I aimed at being in the theocratic ministry school and an unbatized publisher. I visited about 5 conregations and many of them are no different from one another.

    These Witnesses try and act like they are friends with you but they are not. As long as you proceed in changing your life according to their rules, they will be friends with you. Many will feel like you are not up to a certain standard and will shun you....even if you haven't done anything.

    The core of that religion you call "the truth" is anything but truth. The core is lies, hurt and sacrefice. I would urge you my friend to look up the BITE model by Steven Hassan. Check off anything that describes the JW religion. If you have a lot of checks you may be in a high control group.

    I had to learn with tears. I dont want that for you. If you must learn with tears as well then so be it, but research, research, research!

    Yours truly:

    An ex study.

  • KateWild
    I need to gather info from both parties so that i'm able to fully understand what it is all about. - Esmeralda

    Excellent plan. Good for you.

    Kate xx

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