What is the most bizarre counsel you received as a JW, from a JW?

by Funchback 180 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Ucantnome
    A brother said to me, you're jacket label gives the wrong impression.
  • Clambake

    I saw a young mother once receive counsel because the coloring book her child had was a sesame street one with a picture of the Count on it. Apparently it promoted Spiritism. It wasn’t a back room thing, just a comment.

    I think the elder heard me laugh about it. I couldn’t help but think

    One Asshole

    Two Assholes

    Three Assholes

    Ha Ha Ha

  • Stealth

    During a quick build an elder made me cover up my Nike swoosh logo on my shirt with duct tape.

    During any event that involved dancing an elder would run around the dance floor with a six inch ruler and make sure that anyone single was at least that far away from their dance partner.

  • Driving Force
    Driving Force
    When I first came into the twuth I used to sing the kingdoom songs very loud with another brother, we were told off for singing too loud. So we sang even louder.
  • Funchback

    My older brother who is a prudish die-hard JW and his just-as-prudish JW wife got bent way out of shape because, while at a gathering at a couple's house, I made a comment about their dog's nipples. You would've thought that I said the F-word. I asked, "What's wrong?". My brother responded, "You said 'nipple'".

    I asked him, "Since when is nipple a bad word?". He and his wife covered their ears and made sounds to drown out the word 'nipple'. "Argh! NO! You said it again. Stop saying 'nipple'!".

    At that moment, I realized he was a lost cause.

    PS: He was about 35 years old at the time.

  • titch

    I don't know if this would be considered "counsel" as much as it was just "admonishment." This happened way back in 1970, 45 years ago. About that time, my Mom, who WAS a Witness for many years, up until her death, told me that I would look nice with neatly-trimmed longer sideburns. She didn't say that I should grow them to "mutton-chop" length, just down to the bottom of my ear lobes, and keep them trimmed to that length. So, that's what I did. (She had seen a Circuit Overseer, who she had known for many years, grow his sideburns to that length---so that's why she suggested that to me) Fast forward to a District Assembly, in the Summer of 1970. I was helping out in the Expediting Department at that assembly, and working with another "Brother", who was a Pioneer. He took me aside one day, and said, "you should shave off those sideburns, brother." So,I turned to him, and told him that my own mother, who was a Witness, had encouraged me to do that, after seeing a C.O. sporting longer sideburns, too. That ended the conversation.

    Now, this involves not me, but a sister that I once knew, and it was around 1973. She and her family had opened their house to the weekly Book Study. Now, about that time, a lot of Witness women, and a lot of women, in general, were wearing their dresses---not short---but LONG. Like down to their ankles. And that's how she dressed during a Book Study. Shocking, shocking! An elder took her aside one day, and counseled her on wearing a dress, that was WAY TOO LONG!!! (In his opinion) I kid you not. Now, that length of dress was the length that would have been seen, and considered appropriate, for a woman that lived in 1800s! But, to wear a dress that long in the 1970s??? Shocking! So, back then, I got to wondering, what length SHOULD a Witness female wear their dress? Oh, well, life went on. Best Regards, Folks.


  • titch

    Funchback: That's funny. What word should you have used...tit? teet? breast? milk-producing gland? Hmmmmm.


  • Funchback


    I know, right? I don't even think there is a naughty way to say that part of the body.

  • problemaddict 2
    problemaddict 2

    YES! Yes....keep these coming! The counsel is never ending. We have not yet begun to scratch the surface.

    I had a girl that liked me in the hall. We went out (in a group). I didn't like her. I stopped paying her attention. the brothers counseled me for leaving "smouldering rubble of broken sisters in my wake". I think my face said it all.

    I had a nice Calvin Klein suit. Not tight, but well tailored. It was a fantastic suit. One of "those" elders made some comment about it being fitted. Mind you he looked like a rapper in the 90's his clothes were so baggy. I leaned in and said...."brother......are you saying you were looking at my ass?" Nobody else heard. He was embarrassed. One of my finer moments.

    Nipple is a little weird of a word. Kind of gross. Like "moist". Don't you hate saying or hearing the word moist?

  • titch
    Funchback: One more word that I thought of: Udders.

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